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#1362554 04/25/05 04:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 117
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GABOY Offline OP
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My wife and I have been married for a year and 6 months, we dated for 8 years and lived together for 2 of those. When we first got married she got a job teaching 2nd grade and at the school there was this guy that she taught in her cohort with. Well when my wife got home she would talk about him possibly having an affair with another teacher @ school because that was the rumor going on, so I automatically labeled him as an adulterer until I met him. Well turns out we became friends with him and his wife and hung out with them until my wife came home from school and I found a poem that he wrote, I confronted my wife with it and she said it was not for her that he used her legal pad during a meeting and forgot to tear it out and it was for his wife. I dismissed it but I became so worried and she saw the distrust I had in her, i mean I was constantly checking her cell phone and our home phone caller id and the redial. I immediately ended the friendship but I still checked on her every move, i am a worrier. Well three months later I found out that they had been e mailing each other @ school and i went to the school and confronted her and we resolved it I thought. This guy was moved to another school and in the mean time he was seperated from his wife. Well three weeks ago I ran into him with his girlfriend and he introduced me to her, well the very next night his girlfriend calls me with him in the vehicle and tells me that my wife has been calling him so she put me on the line with him and i ask him has my wife been calling you and he said yes. I then ask him as he had sex with my wife and he said yes, so I confronted my wife and she said that it was a lie. So the next day I told her she needed to confront him about his lies so all three of us got on the phone and my wife confessed to me right there and then. She said she wanted a divorce and she was just not happy being with me, she felt not conneceted to me anymore. During this affair we built a new house and she would constantly spend money on the house, speak of our future together such as children and other things. We went to church she took sermon notes and when we would pray @ night she would thank GOD for me being in her life, she would even want us to get up early so we could spend time toghether in the mornings. Since all of this has happened the guy is going to counceling with his wife and they are trying to work things out. My wife says she doesnt want to reconcile the marriage but she did go to one counceling session but said she did not feel comfortable talking to him. I do want our issues and marriage worked out. What do I do? She has a past family history of Bi Polar. She lashes out at me and seems really angry, she told some of her friends that she is confused and doesnt know what do do. She told me last night that she is just not in love with me. What do i do?

GABOY #1362555 04/25/05 07:41 PM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 73
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Don't give up hope. Affairs can create a "fog" in the wayword persons mind and they can also go into withdrawal and"forget" they love you and want to be with you.

Did you read the threads about infidelity? The basic principles here are very important.

Good luck, keep your chin up!


Seeing the light too late? Hoping and Searching for a better tomorrow....

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