My FWH's affair started this time last year. It has been almost 1 year to the day that they slept together. He slept with her for the first time on a Wednesday and then that weekend we went on a family camping trip together. We had SF on Saturday in our camper. Looking back on it he really did not want to. I can look at it now and see how torn he was about the SF. It was an awful weekend. My son and I could do nothing right. We have not camped since then.

Back to today. We are going camping this weekend. My FWH has been very excited about planning this because he knows how much I enjoy camping. Camping was something new for us that we had just started doing. I am also excited. We will have Friday night to ourselves and Sat. we are picking up our son and a friend to stay Sat. night.

I am really nervous about triggers. We have talked about and he is aware that I am nervous but says that it is going to be a new experience for the both of us. He says he knows the timing is kinda of bad but feels that it will help me by replacing an old horrible memory with a new beautiful memory. He wants to show me that things have changed, that he has changed (he really has worked hard). I really want it to be a moving on process. I really want to enjoy every minute of this. I am so afraid that I am going to ruin it because my mind keeps going back to what was going on a year ago.

What to do? Any suggestions?

This might make me sound like a twit, but do you do yoga?

I have found that when I get hit by a trigger, a few minutes of deep breathing and maybe a short yoga session does a lot to help me calm down.

I have not followed your story, so this suggestion might be way off - perhaps your H could do something to reaffirm his commitment to you? Maybe re-create his proposal or something... The happy memory of the new commitment/gesture might help override the feeling you get when you are triggered.

Cat