Post deleted by 2YearsTooLate

Buddy, this is only my opinion so do with this info as you please......

I have a question,

are you still interested in saving this marriage?

If your answer is no then she needs to go. She chose this path she is on and it's time for her to feel the consequences of her decisions.

Let's see she wants to stay for the boys? No bud, she wants to stay so her guilt doesn't eat her alive and can cake eat for the next however many years you allow her to pollute your lives.

How 'bout this scenario 2Y2L, she lives with you and gets to sleep around while you what? What kind of relationships are you going to be able to build when you explain this one....

"Yeah Hun, I'm a single father with custody of my boys and BTW my ExW lives with me too"

See my ExW kinda suggested the same thing before she left and trust me unless you have no desire to move on and no desire to have a relationship in the future...go ahead and let her stay.

Trust me it won't be good for your boys to see Mom and Dad living together yet going out and dating, can you imagine the confusion and hurt that would be done?

Look, if you two are done she has to go...that simple. I have my 4 (although no homeschooling) and you'll do fine without her.

How much longer till you get back to the states?
Let me suggest that she made her decision and it is time for her to live with it, it isn't any of your concern how she survives 2Y2L, if she chose this path she can find a way to survive in Asia or go back to the states.

Remember, it isn't your job to worry about that crap, your job is about the boys and yourself. She showed her concern for your boys when she slept with another, you didn't guide the penis in and you aren't responsible for her decisions.

Kick her out, move along and set up a healthy environment for your boys.

I think Reborn Man has some good points.
One thing you should think about is Texas custody laws. From what I hear, they are extremely pro-maternal custody. Get custody settled BEFORE you go to Texas. Get it in writing that you have primary custody. I wouldn’t split the kids up. They’ll need each other when they go on visitation. “Mom and Dad may be messed up, but we’ll always have each other,” is kind of the thought. Stability is very important.

Now, I did hear of a couple who divorced but lived in the same house. They had a big old farm house, and gutted a couple of upper rooms and made an apartment. One of them lived in the apartment and one in the house. I imagine it was tough on the adults, but the children probably enjoyed it. Eventually, after about 15 years, they remarried. If I remember correctly, the time divorced was rough emotionally on both spouses.

If I were you, I’d simply get the divorce, get full custody in writing, with a verbal understanding that you’ll be reasonable. Then, your wife can make her decisions.

Don’t make the divorce easy for her. I think she’s torn. Probably a good Plan B would work wonders on her.

I guess I just need to know whether or not the marriage is over for you or if you still want your wife?

Do you still want to be married to her?

Your Friend
RebornMan

[color:"purple"] In custody - who ever has the kids when you go to court wins. Never ever ever have any kind of agreement that is not in writing. You don't know how she will feel about you in 2 days let alone 6 months or two years. Never ever agree to temporary arrangements that will change drastically in the future. The longer the kids stay in a temp arrangement the more it becomes the status quo and the less likely it will be EVEN IF IT IS IN WRITING that a judge will disrupt the status quo if she changes her mind.

The custody boards I post on are full of nice well meaning guys like you who lose custody of their children every day when they don't actively work to protect themselves and their children from whim.

Sunny [/color]