When my Fi originally "proposed" to me, it was under some pressure because I was antsy to get the title. Yes - I've learned from my ways.

Anyway, he had told me that if he gave me the ring before he was ready (I was with him when he bought it) then the ring would mean nothing, then gave it to me even though he wasn't ready, because I pressured him.

This has been a sore spot for us since it happened. Because I knew at the time that what I did wasn't right, I didn't even bring up getting married. He asked me last February if we could set a date, and at that point I knew that he was ready. We had both changed by that point, and had grown in the relationship.

Yes - I know that what I did back then was wrong. I regret the way that I handled myself. Please, no 2x4s!

So, after we started with MB in January, we learned so much about each other, and we've become so dedicated to making things work. We decided, together with POJA, that we would have my engagement ring reset, so that it's a ring we both like, and to get rid of the bad memories associated with the original proposal. A little late (we're getting married in less than two weeks), but I really feel that we're making this "right."

Anyway, I picked the new ring up on Tuesday, and he still hasn't given it to me to wear - I think that he wants to re-propose and make a new memory to take with us into marriage.

I don't want to ask him about the ring, I don't want to pressure him, I don't want to repeat the same mistakes...

But it's so frustrating!!! Can anyone suggest something that I can think about tonight when we're eating dinner so that I'm not thinking about the ring? Maybe a phrase to distract myself??

Thanks!
Cat

how about----"i dont want to make the same stupid mistake twice....cause them people at mb's will hunt me down and beat me with 2x4's!!!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Cat,

I'm so happy for you!!!!!!

I hope tonight it as beautiful and wonderful for you both as it can possibly be.

As far as the anticipation...it's hard isn't it?

I remember when my H proposed to me last September...November 12th was D-Day, and after that it was so hurtful and meaningless to know that he actually proposed to me while he was in the midst of his A. It made it so meaningless, but the truth is that even at the time - somehow it felt meaningless and I was disappointed, even though we were in Hawaii, standing by the beach. It would have meant so much more if I could have felt something behind it. I don't have the opportunity to reclaim that as something wonderful...and I'm thrilled that YOU DO!!!!!

As far as distracting yourself, here are some suggestions...

"Live in the moment"

"Let go and let God"

What if you just really let your anxiety go and put it in God's hands and just relax and focus on simply enjoying his company at dinner?

Best wishes on your upcoming marriage...

Thanks nikko and froz for the replies.

I will try to relax and enjoy dinner and let him do his thing when it feels right... I'm not sure it's going to happen tonight - it might be another week before he's got it all straight.

I'm just so happy and grateful that he's doing this because of how awful the first episode was...

Frozen - I'm sorry - I haven't followed your story. Are you still together?

Cat

Yes, we got married December 11th, despite the A. (Sounds crazy, I know, but we had our reasons, however twisted they may have been).

It was bittersweet, as you can imagine. I kept saying to myself (in a sarcastic tone) "Well, you finally got what you wanted...you wanted to be his wife, didn't you? Well - here it is - be careful what you wish for..."

It is wonderful that your guy is doing this and I hope it makes you feel incredibly special to him. I really am quite excited for you and I hope you keep us updated.

Blessings to you both.

How about:

What is more important to me the ring or this relationship?

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />