My ww has cheated on me several times in 17 years of marriage,and I forgave her. We have been argueing over a guy at work who bought her a cell phone,and calls him all the time with messeges. She said she gave it back yesterday,and is all confused between me,and him. We all work together,and she stayed at her Fathers house last night. It was her first night away from me in almost 20 years together. I wonder if she used the night to talk,or see the other,or think things over. What do I do if she still has his cell phone?

MISTERSTEVE,

WOW! I read over your previous posts and see that you have been here long enough to know what you SHOULD do. You should take this opportunity now that she has spent the night at her Father's house to make sure she STAYS there!

Your WW has been a cake-eater extraordinare, because you have allowed her to be. You know this don't you? Somewhere inside you, you know that YOU are not a mentally healthy person. You need to tell your WW to stay where she's at and get yourself into IC as soon as possible. Happy, healthy people would NEVER put up with the kind of things you have been putting up with. You have to concentrate on yourself RIGHT NOW and figure out what inside you makes you feel like you are not worthy of being treated better than this.

My STBXW had numerous A during our M also. She's got her own set of problems, much like your WW does. No one can make them change, they have to want to do it on their own. IMHO your problems are just as big and you need to address them TODAY! You DO NOT deserve to live like this and be treated this way by anyone. You can't help your WW but you can help yourself. YOU NEED TO!

I hope I haven't come across as too harsh. I know what it's like to fear losing your family and your way of life that you have known for so long. But if it's bad it's not worth holding on to. Change is difficult for most people. But I can promise you that if you can take control of your life and get yourself thinking in a healthy way you will be much happier. Good Luck and God Bless.

starman

I hope I haven't come across as too harsh. I know what it's like to fear losing your family and your way of life that you have known for so long. But if it's bad it's not worth holding on to. Change is difficult for most people. But I can promise you that if you can take control of your life and get yourself thinking in a healthy way you will be much happier. Good Luck and God Bless.

starman [/quote]

I let my Love for my ww get in the way of me giving up on her. She might never change,but you siad losing my family. I have talked to our kids,and my 18 year old daughter,and 14 year old son want to stay with me. What should I do next. She has said she should leave me,and the KIDS many times.

Talk with a WS is cheap. Work with your children and keep them close to you as a family. They deserve to grow up in a safe environment. Maybe it won't be as complete or as happy as you'd like but your WS is not being a good mother or W right now. No WS is a good parent. worker, neighbor, employee, relative, spouse etc. Their selifsh A invades all aspects of their lives.

Don't allow yourself to enable the WS any longer. Call JEnnifer @ MB to get a plan going for you and your children. Let the WS stay out of your home and only let your wife back. Can you do that?

L.