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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 54
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Joined: Sep 2004
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Well - the divorce is final day after tomorrow and my H will be married to the OW two weeks from then. I just can't believe it has come to this. My heart is still so broken, although my spirit gets stronger with each day. Please, please, please, tell me that relationships built on lies and deceipt won't make it. I need to believe that now - regardless of where I'm at if/when their house of cards crashes and burns...
Getting_Stronger
Me 46 no kids: H 40 and living W other woman and her 3 kids
Bomb Dropped 4/04
H Asking For D 1/05
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 888
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Hi Getting Stronger,
"Please, please, please, tell me that relationships built on lies and deceipt won't make it."
I can tell you of a situation where the marriage "is making it" after the MM married the OW within a week of his divorce being final. It's been about 1-1/2 years now. He started talking about getting divorced within the first two months. Last I knew he was "definitely" filing after the kids got out of school in June.
I'm still betting that their "married bliss" will continue until OW has been married long enough to get the better divorce settlement.
Btw, the MM's xwife is doing great! Now THAT'S a happy ending!
Take care
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
GS, I am so sorry to hear this. But yes, a marriage based on lies and deceit is not likely to last.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 456
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It's not a matter of IF their marriage conceived in lies will fail...it's a matter of when.
I was a WH (never again!) and I married my OW in '97...14 months after our respectives D's
Two years later, she was remote (we were both military) and she f!@#ked three different men while she was over there. PLUS, she was actively plotting to lead a MARRIED OFFICER into her sexual web, but D-Day got in the way...Thank GOd!!!
Rest easy, your cheating XWH and his homewrecking OW will get theirs sooner or later...they both lack the character ands commitment required of a REAL M.
WNB
43yr old FWH who has rediscovered morality
Divorced: 03 February 2006
XW: My threads say it all
"Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life..."
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,514
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Ouch!! SO SORRY!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Yes, you can rest assured that a M which very basis is deception has nowhere happy to go! How can she ever trust him? How will he ever feel comfortable that he made the right choice? How long before she realizes that she will have never been his "first choice". How long before she realizes he has no integrity? How long before he realizes what a colossal mess he's made? Hold your head high and move forward knowing you have peace to ease into and those two are about to have a M delivered straight frm hell! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
BW, 33 WH 36
Md 14.5 yrs
DD13, DS11, DD4
Tired of counting d-days, D proceeding 7/05
"Pride can break a man right down from iron.
Twist him 'round 'round and tatter up a soul
Handprint of God on the small of my back
my second chance, my second chance.
I'll bend a knee my friend, I'll bend a knee...
Lay It Down say it's all my fault, all my fault.
Say I believe, I believe lay it down.
This the hour of my healing, of my healing,
yeah my heart, my heart redeemed."
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,253
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When my BIL remarried about 3 1/2 years ago, there were some strange dynamics in my SIL's family at the wedding. After all the crap happened with my WH and now that I know my SIL better, she gave me the scoop.
Her father had a long affair with a woman and D-ed When SIL was 20. He married the OW. They all live in the same little southern town. Some 16 years later, the big wedding happened. The "new" wife looked like a dear in the headlights during the whole shebang. She was never comfortable and had to clutch her H the entire time.
Face it, even if the M works, and the odds are against it, they will both always know they married a cheater. They will never feel comfortable around anyone who knew them before again.
At least you're on the high road.
Grapes are versatile. Grapes can be sour, sweet, sublime as wine and fabulous even when old and dried out.
Me: BS
XCH: Clueless
2-DS: Bigger than me
1-DD: Now also bigger than me!
5/6: Personally served CH with divorce papers
6/6: CH F? wants to time to see if M can be saved
7/6: FCH reenters our lives to work on marriage but secretly signs papers to start divorce...what's that about?
Mediation set for November
Final dissolution in January 2007.
2008 and beyond: Life goes on...
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