I would love any feedback, My wife and I met 7 years ago and have now been married for almost 3 years now. The problem is I just got out of the military last month and took a job in DC she is now living in NC(our hometown) working at the college she graduated from. At the first of the year we are supposed to go live together in GA. We have been in our current situation now for 6 months. On Thursday she tells me, "that she loves me but is not in love with me." I really felt horrible hearing this come from her. She is truely my life and we have been together since 1998. I have however been in the Army almost all of that time. Between deployments and her finishing college. We have both been in a lot of directions. To me her statement sounds like the beginning of the end to me. I hope and pray that it is not. We do see each other about every 2-3 weeks. Either I go there or she comes here(8hrs apart). What can I do and what should I do? Suggestions or advice is welcomed. On the short term I have asked her to go to church tomorrow and ask the preacher to talk after the sermon. I feel like she has been holding alot of her feeling and thoughts inside. We both have drifted away from the Lord over the past year or so. I really want to spend my life with this beautiful woman. We just have to be together.

I do not see how any seriously intimate relationship can be maintained with that kind of separation. Perhaps a career change that brings the two of you closer together. Perhaps she's having an affair, found somebody else that's meeting her needs for emotional closeness, conversation, stuff like that.

Saying "She truly is my life", but in a career that brings you in contact every 2-3 weeks are not statements that seem to jive. Sounds like the army is your life. Some spouses are not prepared or willing to play second fiddle.

But I don't see offhand how the situation will change much with the kind of distance and such that you are talking about.

Perhaps talking to an MC would help, or the pastor, although personally, I have found most pastoral counseling to be just this side of completely lame. It's not an area that a lot of them get a lot of quality training in. People expect pastors to be counselors, but it's by force I suspect. You may want to engage a true professional.