I spoke with my nephew last night and he said my brother in laws who works with my H said he lashed out at them saying to [email]H@#l[/email] with you, to H#ll with this job, etc. He apparently has these outbursts alot. I still dont know if he is in contact with OW. He is staying at him moms and she doesnt live far from OW. I do know he attempted to contact her soon after he left the house and she told him she wouldnt talk to him because she promised me she would let us work this out. Not saying she or he are noble word keeping type people but I do drive by before and after work sometimes to see if he is at her house. She has a garage and he could hide his truck but I dont know that he would go to that extent plus I dont let him know I am checking up. I go by his moms too to see if he is there, sometimes he isnt like last night, dont know where he was. Would like to ask, but dont want to appear prying and bringing up the bad. That seems to be his only ligitimate complaint he will share about me. The first time he told me about the A, I told him he could stay and he did, said she meant nothing then and we did well, if I only could have come here then and worked on plan A or B it would have worked easily then I know, but I brought it up all the time. I couldnt help it, I was so hurt and angry but never got that out in the beginning so I just kept hitting on it at any opportunity to make a reference.....hindsight wow.
I dont know if H anger is stemming from guilt alone, or if OW is denying him or what. Hoping she is keeping him at bay. But he still is very standoffish from me. I have been trying to avoid calling him, but I actually sit there and gets anxious at wanting to hear his voice. But the disappointment when he doesnt seem so happy to hear from me breaks my heart and makes plan A very hard.
I dont know how he can see I have changed if he isnt around. I dont want to shower him with affection when he is not even living with me, so trying the absence makes the heart grow fonder thing, but that means encounters have to be short because I am weak when near him.
I asked him to at least write down somethings that may have gone wrong, that I need to change, needs I failed to meet something hoping talking about it will ease the anger. Nothing as far as I know. Havent talked to him.
Please lord grant me the patience I need. Thanks for all your thoughts.

It's probably guilt, anger or your "interference". You can only change you. If he notices good, if not you're still a better person.

The Lord will grant you patience and strength. Hand it over to a higher power.

BW,

Sounds like your boy is in a pickle. Living at his MOM"S!!?? How uncool is that! annnnd his little squeeze won't talk to him now. No wonder he is grumpy.

How is he going to get out of this one with his pride in the way. Plan A when you talk to him. If and when he notices, he will be talking to you more.

What does his Mom have to say about the matter? Or is she entirely on his side?

k

I do not talk to his family right now. I only talk to my friends. When he was 12 his dad left his mom for another woman, she should be on my side, but now she is on her 3rd husband who she was with while with hubby 2, so who knows. Plus I dont know what he tells his family. I know his brother told my nephew he worked with OW once and she was nothing and he was lucky I was willing to take him back. As for me, though I dont get them involved because I know that is awkward for all of us. Thanks for the feedback it truly helps. You all are great people.