I just want to vent a little ... or a lot ...
xH finally told OW yesterday that we are leaving for vacation on Friday.
As expected, her reaction was not good because she still thinks that he is coming back to her ... hopefully not anymore ...
So she told him that it was a reality check for her ... why Mily, why Mily, everything is for her ... [color:"purple"] is she jealous of me??? [/color]
Why am I going with him on vacation instead of her? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />
That he didn't care about her or OC ... he told her that he cared as a mother of OC, nothing else ...
Then she said that she was going to ask for CS ... even better said xH because then he'll ask for visitation ...
Then she told him that he was not being a real father to OC ... that he was just only a play mate ...
[color:"purple"] what does she wants?[/color] He goes there about 3-4 times a week to see OC. He bathes, feeds, and play with the kid. Everything at her house! He doesn't go with her to OC's doctor's appointments because she does not want him there ...
What else does she wants?? oh, yeah for him to sleep with her, for them to be a 'happy family' ...
So she tells him "I just wish I was Mily because that who you want to be with." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

He finally realized how immature she is ...
He was going to take OC to his apt today ... not ... she called him that if he wanted to spend the day with OC it was going to be at her house ... again ...
He went at lunch time ... and she was there on her lunch ... and she tells him that if she knew having a kid with him was going to be like that she would have had an abortion ... that it was not fun to her to be with OC ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />
He called me after she left and told me about their conversation ... then he said that he felt sad because she doesn't love OC as she was supposed to ... that OC means nothing for her ... that he knew that if OC was with us he would be a 100 times better ... that I would be the best mom for him ...

He asked me if she called me? No, why would she call me? The last time she thought she had more information than I did and she got a surprise... I didn't keep my mouth shut ... she thought I was going to back up and let her control the situation, nope! ...
So I told him, I really really really want her to call me because I do have a lot of things to tell her ... but she is not going to because she knows she can not control me or my actions ...

there ... my vent is over ... for now ...

Isn't it great to have this board to vent?? I think most OW want to be the wife -- if they didn't why would the go after our H (and an even better ? why would they sleep w/our H without birth control) If I were you I would so enjoy your vacation with the added bonus that she is miserable about it!

Hope you have a great time!

Beth

Beth,
You just put a smile on my face <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Venting here prevents me from doing LBs ... and everyone understands this type of situations ...

OW is always behaving like she is/was the wife and I'm the intruder <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
I was worried about OW ruining vacations - but I like your approach better!
I will enjoy the vacations knowing that she is miserable about it!
Thanks!

Mily, OW in my situation acts very similarly. It very sad what she said about OC though.

OW is so jealous of me and H and I are getting a divorce! Isn't this what she wanted after all? She can't stand the fact that H is doing things for me. She says he always does everything for me! She thinks H should leave me, spend every night w/her, and not help me w/ anything during my pregnancy. She was not happy when H refused. I just don't get the way some OW act like the spouse stole their life? WTF? Weren't we living a happy life until they came along?

Ditto your WTF?, Wife30!

We are already divorced and it drives her crazy all the things that xH does for me and not for her.
That's not the way a divorced couple should behave - she says ... now she is Miss Morality 2005 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

I bet she was not thinking about morality when she was sleeping with xH while he was married! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I guess they like to think that they were the saviours to our husbands because we were so mean to them <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

It made me sad the commets she had about OC ... xH thinks that she does not want OC around me because OC will get attached to me ... my mom, on the other hand, thinks that she is just putting a show to make him feel guilty ...

Just another vent ...
SHE DOES NOT GET IT!!!!!!!

First, yesterday she asked xH if it was ok with me that he would spend the afternoon with OC instead of DD because he was going to be with DD everyday on vacation ... Hell no! He had the whole day off and she wanted DD's time with her dad? No! No! No!

Then, OW's sister offered OW to pay for her airplane ticket if she wanted to come with us on vacation!!!! WTF??????
OMG! I can't believe her or her family!
What's wrong with this people!?!?!?

She said to xH that she was not going to go where she was not invited ... meaning what??? Had he invited her, she would have accepted it????
But that this was what she needed to move on with her life ... now??? so all the other things that he has said and done she was just ignoring them??? OMG!!!!

I really think she is just pulling all my ropes to see if I explode and have a miserable vacation ... but no! I refuse it!

ah ... end of venting ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

[color:"red"] [/color]
Okay, I just noticed that my well thought out post did not make it on the scene properly. Wha t the heck did I say to you on yesterday that I need to put here again. I was so profound until I can't think of it exactly.

Well here goes nothing.....

Mily,
This woman is a dam# FOOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> I have never heard such stupidness until it is outrageous!!! I would have blown a gasket (Silently of course)!! Don't let this witch get you upset. she is only doing what comes naturally to her---trying to get your XH's attention. If you remain calm and sweet during this time he will see that he is right where he belongs - WITH HIS DAM# FAMILY!!! She has no place their or even involved with you guys. That's why I go for NC. This causes to many problems for everyone. Surely he knows by now that she is going to be pulling this type of crap for the rest of their lives.

WTF is wrong with her family???? Do they think that she is entitled to something? What family would even suggest that a mistress ask to go on vacation with the core family; whether their is another child involved or not (OC); that child is not a part of the core family and does not entitle him by any means to be a part of every activity. Don't beat me over the head, please this is my opinion, no one has to agree with me!!!

I am not saying if you choose contact to just shush the OC away, but that does not mean that you have to include them on everything; let's face it they have their place as well and that's a decision that his/her stupid cheating parents made at the time. That is why this is such a bad idea to bring a child into this senerio!!!

Back to the subject, Mily go on your vacation and think nothing further about this FOOL!!! Have the best time of your life and make sure you have some ALONE TIME with Hubby as well!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Make it one that when he looks back and thinks on it - he has a big GRINNNNNNNN on his FACEEEEEE <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Plus you'll be giving her another nail in her COFFIN (sp?) as well! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Gotta GO,

Love Ya,

JT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I'm not having the crap that your OW is causing. She sounds like a real nightmare! Looks like the apple didn't fall far from her family tree!

I did find it interesting, however, the last time I saw my OW. She had colored her hair red and cut it shorter. She used to have long blonde hair. I have short red hair! She used to dress very casually, kind of like a slob. Now, she had on a pretty white knit top and some nice fitting jeans. I have always been overweight but always wore nice clothing and makeup. My goodness, she's 24 yrs. old. I sure can't compete with her body and youth! She takes my xWS, my hair color, shorter haircut, and my style of dress!!

Do you think it might have anything to do with my very outspoken stepdaughter (xWS's daughter)who said to me.."You have more class in your little finger than she'll (OW) ever have." ?? My stepdaughter has regular contact with the OW because of wanting to spend time with her half-brother ( the OC) Hmmmmmmmmmm...

Mily, you're darned skippy she wants to be you! I suppose she also wants you to feel guilty because you have the "audacity" to spend time with XH on vacation.

It's obvious that she was only using OC as a means to an end. How old is this chick anyway? Isn't it more common for a teenager to have a idealized and sometimes unrealistic view of what happens when the baby actually arrives? Either that, or she's a little detached for reality!

Isn't it frustrating to deal with people who put up a pretense of being clueless (i.e., deliberately obtuse)? And, isn't it even MORE frustrating to deal with people who don't live on the same planet?

It's amazing what some people's families will excuse and justify just so that their loved one could be happy. No wonder OW seems detached from reality . . . it was obviously learned behavior!

Just a quick note before leaving ...
Believe it or not she is 28 ... but based on xH comments, she's always been spoiled by her parents and family ... They lived together for 6 motnhs - five of pregnancy and one month after OC was born. Then when xH said he wanted to come back she moved back to her parents house.
Her dad took the second floor of their house and prepared it for her ...

She's used to get her way all the time ... and now she's acting desperate, immature and childish because xH does not want to be with her ...

oh well ... I'm leaving now ... I'll be back with lot of stories (hopefully good ones <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) after the 18th!!!!

Take care all!!!!!