I talked with my ww last night,and she said she hasnt been happy for 7 years,and she was only hanging on for the kids.
Why did she leave last Sunday if she was here for the kids?
She said no one will influence her decision on returning,but
I think she is gone for good,and why would I want her to return,and get hurt again anyway.
What about spending time with her this weekend? Should I not bother,or would it be good to go out with her one night.

MISTERSTEVE,

What your wife is doing is fairly typical. Here we call it "how the wayward spouse rewrites history". It's predictable. They almost ALL do it.

And there are ways to deal with it.

And there are lots of people here with lots of experience who would LOVE to help you, support you, give you advice, etc...

BUT you are making it difficult. People who take the time to read your posts and reply to you will get offended if you don't write back to them. Opening lots of new threads without ever answering anyone is not a good way to get help.

Keep in mind that we are ALL hurting too, or have been hurt. Most of us will avoid frustration and rejection because we are all ready getting enough of it at home.

So, I've been honest with you, and spoken plainly.

My last piece of advice (unless you reply) for you is this:

SLOW DOWN - stop focusing on every little thing your wife does or says.

You cannot control her. BUT you can control YOU. There are ways to act and behave that will increase your chances of saving your marriage.

Do you want to save your marriage?

dewt

MISTERSTEVE,

Ditto what dewt said! I was going to talk with you again, but I didn't know which thread to reply to. Just trying to give you some friendly advice. I know what your going through and I can feel the emotion and confusion in your posts. Just stick with ONE thread as much as possible so everyone here can more easily help.

You need to first decide what YOU want and then develop a plan that will best help you achieve that goal. Dewt's question is the right place to start. Do you WANT to save your M?

starman

MisterSteve, just a suggestion about posting basic posting etiquette:

1. when folks respond to your posts, acknowledge them by responding to them - that is basic common courtesy

2. rather than starting up numerous threads, just use ONE thread to post all of your questions so folks can keep track of you. Change the title if need to via the edit button in your first post