KMEJ is on the verge of making her first call. She could use support while doing this on her main thread.

KMEJ:

Please do this for yourself and your children. We know you are scared to death (that is ok), just know that this is the right thing to do. Expect a fiery WH, but stay strong and show strength. Your WH is a cowardly abuser, and all of his strength is based on your fear and weakness. When you do this and show strength, you weaken his ability to hurt you and your children.

DO THIS. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE DO THIS !!!!

We are here and will support you. We are praying for you. We cannot help you untill you help yourself.

LM

Thank God you've called the hotline KMEJ! You will NOT regret this. I went through this with my mom. It's very traumatic but does the job.

In my mom's case, the police took my dad away in a police car, handcuffs and all. That was very hard on my mom but had to happen. He was locked up for a couple days. It gave my mom time to get all of her stuff together. At that point, I was living on the left coast, 1500 miles away. 4 of 5 siblings lived in different states. A large burden was put upon my brother who lived closest. A couple of my other brothers flew into to save the day. My kids were small and I elected to be a telephone cheerleader.

If you go to the safehouse, take your kids. My mom was the oldest woman there and about the only one without kids. Take all the important papers that you can find. Take every single birth certificate, passport, marriage certificate, shot records, income tax information, bank statements, and all important papers. Take a good selection of clothes, books and toys. If you have things you really like, pack them up and leave them with a friend or relative. In fact, if you can get someone to store stuff, take all you can. You will need winter clothes next winter. You will need your summer stuff very soon. Breakdown your computer and take it with you. If would be a good bet that if your WH is jailed, when released he will go on a rampage. He could end up breaking all your nice dishes or cutting apart your clothes. He can keep the stupid pool table.

My mom had a lot of telephone support from all of her kids. Make sure you take a phone card with you. Be prepared to have a restraining order issued against your husband. My dad had to go to group counseling for a long time. (It never helped.)

One of the best things that came out of all of the crap with my mom is that she was placed on a priority list for housing. She needed to be removed from an abusive situation. Or I should say that she finally agreed to be taken out of an abusive situation. Like yourself, she had plenty of excuses and coping mechanisms. That's normal. Mom was able to get into a HUD apartment with controlled access and very cheap rent. It's like the occupant of the apartment died one day and my mom was put into it a few days later. (Sad but true.) When you have reported your abuse, you may also qualify for special housing and childcare. Mom has a great life now. She's 87, still drives, travels, has tons of friends, is active and in pull possession of her mind. She no longer worries about Dad's disapproval or his anger. She doesn't walk on eggs anymore.

Make sure the people you work with know what is going on. Make sure that you are never alone. See if you can get rides from someone. Be honest with your kids.

KMEJ, this may be one of the best things that you EVER do.

GO GIRL!

Thanks grape girl- really. I am glad that your mom is doing so well. I am sorry she had to go threw that. It is good she found peace and happiness.

I am not sure what point I am at at the moment, however babysteps are steps all the same. Right now my kids know enough- too much for their age. They know I love them. They know their Daddy loves them.

I am not sure what to do next. However I think counseling is my best bet. I am tired. I will get off real soon. I need a shower and a bed- 15hours is way too long for me today. my head is killing me.
Thanks for all the support. I needed it today, and will continue to need it to do what I need to do, to make sure I do it.