I just found out my husband's ex-affair is expecting a baby. She's due in July/August. We have tried marriage counseling, but I just can't accept what he has done to our family (myself and our six year old son). I want to end our marriage and somehow get my life back. I know he still loves me and our son, but I also know he still wants the best of both worlds. There is constant contact still with the mother and his excuse is "I'm only in it for the baby". It just seems to me since the baby isn't even born yet, he's in it more for her than anything. Can anyone offer any advice to me? I'm so confused right now I don't know what I want. I know I can't go on living like this but I still love my husband. I just don't know my next move.

DW

Hi, DW. I am sorry that you have found yourself in this situation but you have definitely come to the right place. On this board you can meet many people who are or have been through what you are going through. The people on this board know the range of emotions you described on your post and can truly empathize with you -- something I personally have found few of my friends or family could do. It is hard to know whether to stay or go, whether or not to have contact w/OC if you stay in the M -- any of these decisions is very personal and you have to figure out what works for you. There are people on this board that have chosen to stay in their M, there are those who have divorced, those who have contact with the OC and those who don't -- any of them (myself included) will be glad to share with you their story and what factors influenced their decisions. Stick around and read -- you will be amazed at the wealth of knowledge on this board.

You don't have to decide today what you want for the future -- so just try to take care of yourself for now. I know it seems impossible but over time you will begin to figure it all out. I have been here for awhile and if you read my posts over the past few months you will see it has been/continues to be a roller coaster ride, but I am still hanging in there. And I can finally say I am beginning to have hope for the future again.

Beth

Thank You for your response. Right now I'm just so confused it does seem hopeless that I will never make up my mind. I have friends telling me one thing, parents telling me another and my husbands family telling me something else. It just feels as though Myself and my son are being pushed aside for "her and the baby". Even his family. They are just excited they have a new grandchild. I feel so hurt and so betrayed by everyone and pressured that I just need to accept what is going on. This girl he got pregnant doesn't even want his name on the baby's birth certificate, yet it seems as though he's bending over backwards for her to give her anything she wants. Honestly I just don't believe it's all over between them like he says it is. My husband and I both pretty much know she basically used him just to get her pregnant and I wish I could make him see that she is still just using him. I know he had a huge part in the whole thing, but I really wanted to believe him when he said he was only in it for the baby. Everything else he's doing, shows me that it's not just for the baby.

I just need some time to get my head straight first. I need to think of what's best for my little boy and then make some major decisions in my life.

Thank You,
Diane

DW I am so sorry you are in this situation. Your story sounds a little familiar. My H also has an OC. During the pregnancy I also felt like he was catering to her needs a little too much. Although the affair had stopped during her pregnancy, it resumed shortly after the OC was born. H and I will be divorcing as soon as I have my baby. Just be careful. I've learned to follow that gut instinct that I have. It's usually right. Take care of yourself, and good luck! We are here for you!

DW,

I'm sorry that you find yourself here. But there are many of us women that have been through the ins and outs of dealing with OW and OC's. I can tell you that it will feel like your H is catering to HER needs while she is pregnant. It felt that way when OW was pregnant in our situation. I would get so angry about everything and he would say, you know I have to keep the lines of communication open if I want anything to do with this child. Then I got into the selfish mode thinking, WHY DO YOU WANT CONTACT!?!?!?! This woman has made your life heck and made you lose a rank in the military yet you want to be around the OC? Then I realized that although VERY painful, the OC is innocent. I know right now that might be something you dont' want to hear. Trust me, I went through the rollercoaster of emotions when it came to the oc. One day I would be out buying clothes for him and the next I would want to hunt down the OW and beat her up <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />. Then I met the OC when he was born. Everything was different. STILL HARD!!! Then I saw my H trying to make things work to have OC in our lives. But OW started to make things difficult pulling nice stunts and wonderful mind games. My H started to realize that it wasn't about the baby to her, it was about trying to screw with him (not literally). She was a scorned ex-OW that felt she won because she had OC but now that I'm expecting in less then 33 days, she is realizing that her life hasnt' turned out how she thought it would. She is angry telling my H that he shouldn't be doing all the pregnancy things with me (hospital tours, painting the nursery, and all that) because it isn't fair due to the fact that he NEVER even went to ONE appt with her. HELLO??????? Are you nuts. I know you are hurting right now because it hurts more then words can express. I know you have 1000 emotions running through your head. But if your H wants to stay to make things work and is willing to do that, I can tell you, HE will see the TRUE colors of the OW. It might take time and then you will be sitting there saying, HAHHAH, I told you so!!! But whatever you decide, there are people here to listen to you cry, yell, shout, and anything else. My email is meganluvsmike2002@yahoo.com if you have any questions you want to ask but can't! Good Luck and remember to keep your head up through all this. You can be strong!!!

Sorry you've found yourself in this situation. Like others have noted, though, coming to this forum will help you find insights and comfort you're unlikely to find in "real life."

Can you fill us in a little more on your H's state of mind and activities? What's his commitment to the M? Does he say he wants the A to be over? From experience, I can tell you that continued contact with OW while trying to end the A and work on the M is about 99.9% certain to sabotage the process. If he wants to work on the M he needs to be 100% NC, and to the extent BOTH of you decide you need to be in touch with OW, it's done ONLY together. Your situation can definitely be navigated to a healthy marriage at the end of it, but there's not much room for second guessing some key concepts like NC.

As the voices in the fog kept telling me, the baby is not here yet and doesn't "need" him at all today. Any contact with her is for her (or even their) benefit, not the baby's. Having NC with the mother during the pregnancy will not limit your H's legal rights related to visitation and custody, should the baby prove to be his (which it is not until it IS proven).

Diane,

Very sorry that you find yourself here but very glad that you do ...
As much as family and friends love you and care for you, unless they've gone through something similar, they are not going to understand the range of emotions that you are going through or the 'why' in your decisions. They will only confuse you more and no matter what you do, some of them may get mad and dissappointed with you ...

Read this website and the books if possible. May I recommend IC (individual counseling). I know that helped me a lot going through all of this ...
Do not take any rush decisions ... take your time, as much as you need ...
Read and learn from our stories ... and keep reading and posting here!

I guess I really don't know my H's state of mind concerning the A. When I first found out the OW was pregnant, I told him I wanted a divorce. He basically had a nervous breakdown and we both ended up in counseling trying to save the M. He didn't have any contact with the OW because she wouldn't return any of his calls. Calls he said he was making only to see how the baby was doing. Finally she did return a call and ever since then she has been a constant thorn in my side. The OW and her mother (because she is only 20 and my H is 36) just bought a new house and my H is helping them move in at the end of the month. He is also going to a baby expo with them mid month and he is planning on going to the baby shower in June just to help load up and take home all the gifts. And in the same breath, the OW flat out told my H that she doesn't even want his name attached to the baby when it is born. No sig. on the birth certificate she said. I just don't understand what any of what he is doing has to do with the baby...probably because it doesn't....and why is he so willing to keep pursuing this when he knows how much the contact with her hurts me. I honestly think he has an obsession with either her or the baby or both and is not willing to give up either the M or the A. He wants the best of both and I can't live like that. My H has even been bring the OW boxes so she can start to pack for the move at the end of the month. And he has already given her money (not a lot..maybe $30.00 total) but the point is that a paternity test hasn't even been done yet.

I just feel like me and my son are being pushed aside so he can cater to the OW. So not only did she use him (according to everyone) to get pregnant, but she is still using him and he just won't open his eyes. I don't know how to reach him anymore. We do discuss things openly. At least I do. I have caught him hiding a couple of things like certain times he's actually been over to her house without me knowing and he dropped off boxes and never told me he went over there.

I don't think keeping any secrets is a good sign. It just makes my distrust him even more when he hides things from me. I just don't see any other way out of feeling like this all the time. I cry all the time. I think about the A all the time. I think about how this baby will affect my life all the time and I just can't bring myself to accept any of it. I don't think I should have to accept it. Is ruining my life really worth it? Is it worth keeping a man that can't be faithful to me. I just don't want to hurt anymore and the only way I think the hurt will end, is if the M ends.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

Diane

Diane,
I have to agree with you -- you H cannot have M and A, which is exactly what he is trying to do. Helping her move ?? Going to a Baby Shower??? Going to a Baby Fair? His family suppots this pregnancy and is embracing the baby as a grandchild???? None of that says "Hey -- my wife and marriage are important and I will respect them." I would be outraged like you. It makes me so sad that you are being pressured to more or less accept this -- you certainly don't have to. I chose to stay in my marriage but only after my H's words and actions proved that I (not OW and OC) was the priority and all decisions about OC would include me and would always respect me and my kids. I am not sure if what I said sounded right but the point is in order for you to successfully recover your M, H has to put M ahead of OW/Baby and until he really does that you can't move forward. Because you're right -- you can't live like that . . . him playing daddy for her, then having your family too. It's just so hard because although he has created this mess, he's still the man you love and I think that is something you will find in common w/ people here. We understand that just because H did this horrible thing we still love him -- that's something that people not in our sitch just can't grasp! But it is our reality.

I think you should consider making a break for now, setting some guidelines, etc. as you are ready to make those choice. It is not fair to you to have to just accept these things he is doing "for the baby". In reality -- "doing it for the baby" really won't even be recalled by the baby until he/she is much older much less when he/she is unborn. It just sounds to me like H has alot to prove to you before you should consider working it all out. I can tell you from my experience -- it gets harder .. . the day the baby is born, working out whether or not to see the baby and have contact or not, hammering out legal issues of child support and visitation, deciding how to handle sitch w/ your own kids. If you and H are still in the M and not on the same page working out all of that would be H*ll!

Anyway -- that's my two sense, take it or leave it. That's the great thing about this board: People will listen to you, share their story, give you their input on your sitch but in the end don't have a preconcieved idea of what your decision should be and wouldn't put you on the defensive about what you chose to do. It is a very safe environment to collect information and opinions -- which I found difficult to do with most of my friends and family because they have an idea of what they think makes me happy and are trying to steer me to it.

Keep posting. If I can help you in anyway, feel free to email me at [email]wurmommy@bellsouth.net.[/email]

Beth

Thank You for your input. It is so hard. I really do still love him with all my heart. But I can't share him. I'd rather let him go than share him with OW/OC. It's too painful to share him with someone else. I only think I've lasted this long because of our six year old son. I've been dreading the moment when the two of them have to be seperated from each other. The funny thing is, when my H landed in the hospital for the break down, it was only because he would be losing his son, not losing me too. Every time we spoke of seperating, the only time he got emotional was over our son. He seemed fine with losing me, but when it came to our little boy, that's when the tears flowed. H told his mother who told me that the two children would now be the priority in his life. My opinion is if you are trying to save your M, I think the wife would also be a priority. I guess that's not the case. At least it doesn't look like it to me. I don't doubt that he also loves me and our son, I just think he can't make a decision. He's more or less letting me make it for him. Now the OW has even told him it's all over between them and she want's nothing more to do with him (which we know is not true) but he still seems to bend over backwards. I truly believe she is still using him and he just can't see it. Maybe when me and our son are no longer an every day in his life, he'll wake up and realize what a great family he lost. By then it may be too late.

I really appreciate everyones responses. It's nice to see that I'm not the only one going through this. There are other women out there (and possibly men) who are hurting just as much as I am.

I just don't think the love I have for him is strong enough anymore to overcome what he has done to our family. I used to think that love would get us through if we really tried, but I'm tired of being the only one trying. I think I'd be sacraficing more staying than if I just called it quits.

I'm glad I found you guys. It's nice to have someone to talk to.

Diane

Wow, Diane, again I'm sorry to hear about your situation. While your situation is of course unique, much of what you say and feel -- and your H too -- is very common. In particular, him waiting for you to make a decision. He's got his butt parked on the fence and doesn't know what to do. He's likely so caught up in the "fog" of the A and the pregnancy that he's not thinking rationally, to put it bluntly. I speak from the voice of experience.

There is an antidote to fence-sitting that often works. Read up on the MB site and forum about Plan A and Plan B. You alluded to the basic idea in your post, saying that when you aren't in his life, he may see what he's lost. That's the right idea! He's playing house with two families only because you are letting him!

DW1,
I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with such a painful situation. When I finally confirmed that my xWS was having an affair, I found out at the same time that his OW was 6 months pregnant. My xWS was 47 and she was 21, the same age as his oldest child from his first marriage.

I don't think that I have ever hurt so bad, been so devestated, been so angry, been so sad, at any other time in my life. I felt like I could vomit my guts out. I cried and cried and cried. I had revenge fantasies about what I would do and say to him and to her. Bottom line was that no matter what I thought, felt, or did, nothing could ever change the fact of what happened. I felt so powerless.

Others that knew the OW said they thought she deliberately got pregnant to "trap" him. She wanted someone to take care of HER. (Little did she know that much of what xWS had was due to my budgetting and my larger income!) Throughout her pregnancy and after the OC's birth, the OW would threaten to leave my x..and that he might never see his child again. A DNA test wasn't even done until the OC was 10 months old. My xWS was the father. Obviously your OW and mine knew that our WSs wouldn't abandon any child that was theirs. Obviously our WSs took no pre-cautions to prevent pregnancy or STDs!

I hadn't found this site at the time this was all happening. I divorced my xWS. The divorce was finalized one month after the OC was born. We talked about reconciliation for awhile. My xWS was clear that he would not abandon his child. That his child was innocent and deserved to have his father in his life. He wanted me back, but knew he had no right to ask me to accept an OC. I decided to think about the issue little by little, piece by piece. First, I had to process the whole issue of the affair. Then I had to deal with the concept on an OC and an OW being in my life. After the OC was born, I processed the reality of meeting him, seeing him, in the flesh...a symbol of my xWS's unfaithfulness. I also had to process the fact that the OC was born with Down Syndrome. At each point along the way, I reminded myself that I could step out of the relationship at any time. I had made no promises to stay. It was a bit easier for me than you, as we shared no children together.

The information of an OC is still very new to you. It's hard to make any decisions about the situation when you're not even sure how you can get through the day..the hour..the next minute. Unless there's been a pre-natal DNA test, this child may not even be his. Regardless of whether his contact is to "support the baby"...or be with the OW...or fence sit...or eat cake... the fact remains that he is actively choosing to ignore your needs and feelings...as well as your son's. I support what others have said in terms of looking at Plan A and Plan B.

This is a heavy burden to carry alone. Please know that the people on this site care about you and your son. We've all been in a similar place. As another member noted, it's not anyone's role to judge you or tell you what to do here. We're here for support and to share our experiences.

Can anyone recommend a good lawyer or a resource to find a good lawyer at either no cost or low cost in NYS. All the places I've checked into would deny me because H is still living with us and his income is too high. And even if we kicked him out, they still base it on what my parents make. And they make too much for me to get free legal services. The one lawyer I was interested in charges $1350.00. Does anyone know if a lawyer would accept payment upon divorce settlement? Example....I'm entitled to half of my H's pension. Upon receipt of this pension in the settlement, would a lawyer accept that as her payment? Of course with condition that H pay me back half of that. I have e-mailed this question to the lawyer I mentioned above, but she has yet to respond. She did say she would work with me depending on what kind of payment plan I came up with. The only payment plan I could remotely come up with is something like $50.00 a month. That's over a year to pay her off if I did it that way. I had my initial consultation with this lawyer so she knows my backround on the situation. I did clue her in that OW is now expecting so I can get the grounds bumped up from Cruel and Inhumane Treatment...to...Adultery. Which at this point I have no problem doing.

Just this morning, H mentioned that he took boxes over to OW's house before he came home from work. Just Great. But as he keeps reminding me...."I'm just in it for the baby"...

I know I've already made my decision to get the divorce. I deserve better than what he is giving me and our son. We were the first family made out of love. His second family is made out of lies and deceit. I just won't stand for that. I deserve better and my son deserves a full time father. Not a father who might be there if he's not busy with the other baby.

But, any info or resources anyone can offer would be great. Keep those responses coming. They are helping me so much. Just reading them each day, I think makes me that much stronger in my convictions to do what I feel is the best thing to do. I have to think of my son. What's best for him. My H has always been a good father to our son until recently. All his spare time is too dedicated to the OW and OC (even though it's not born yet). Too many boxes to bring over to the OW's house I guess. haha.

Thank You all so much.

Diane

I'm from Michigan so I'm not familiar with the legal system in NY.

Just some thoughts:

Do you have access to any money in a savings or checking account? If no divorce has been filed for yet, the accounts will not have been frozen. You are often allowed to withdraw some of the money. Anyone in the family who can loan you the money based on a $50.00 per month payback plan? I'd make the loan "official" by putting it in writing..to protect everyone's best interest. Some family members will try and use a loan to try and pressure the person into a specific marriage/divorce decision. How about a credit card? I took a cash advance on mine. Some attorneys accept credit cards for payments. Not a cheap way to go with the interest rate. But you can stipulate that one of the conditions of the divorce is that your spouse has to pay for all costs related to the divorce, interest included. This can be above and beyond any splitting of pensions, etc.

In some states it is to your benefit to file for separation/divorce and support before the OC is born. Otherwise, the amount of child support can be different when there is an OC involved. (Usually not to your child's benefit!) I don't know if this is true in NY or not. You might want to ask about it.

Diane -- Sorry I am not from NY area so I don't have any recommendations. But here's something that may make the $ part seems a little better . . . Where I live in TX the typical lawyer fees for handling divorces were $3000 upfront. When I went to see a lawyer and was seriously considering divorce, he told me there were two ways I could pay: 1. $3000 today cash, check, or credit card or 2. They had a payment plan -- $1500 today and $1500 in 30 days. I was shocked - I mean WTH kind of payment plan is that????

I think someone suggested borrowing from a family member if possible. That was what I was going to have to do. So maybe that's a possibilty?

You mentioned you had an appt. w/ a good lawyer. Most will consult w/ you one time for free so go and see what your options are.

Hang in there -- you sound like you are really doing well.

Beth

I'm sure there is an option out there for me somewhere. Payment plan or not, I will find a way to get through this. As far as I sound like I'm doing good, I'm not so sure. I broke down today. My H went off to work with his little bag of goodies (bottles, liners, etc) to stop off at the OW's house before he went to work. All the stuff he's just been buying here and there. Because of course it's "all for the baby". I guess that's her Mother's Day present. I was waiting for him to pull out a card and sign it right in front of me. Of course he's probably going to pick one up at work and sign it and give it to her when I'm not right over his shoulder. So today is yet another day among many he's making his rounds to see the OW.

Anyway, my point was that I broke down today. He drove off to work and as soon as he was gone, I just lost it. I cried so hard I almost threw up. I really think that after Mother's Day (so I don't ruin it for my son), Monday I am going to sit down with my H and let him know I'm just not happy and I can't go on living like this anymore. I think he needs to leave and the sooner the better. The more I have to see him now-a-days, the more it hurts. I can't have him in my life anymore. Just him being here with us rips my heart out every day. It's not the first time I've cried this hard and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Some days are better than others. But most days are the same. It's been six months, and I know that's not a very long time considering what we are going through, but I just want it to end. It's only going to get harder when the baby comes. My H is hardly here now between work and all these dates the OW conveniently wrote down for him. Wait until the kid shows up. He'll never be around. And I just can't have that. It all goes back to the sharing. I just don't think a wife should have to share the man she married, who promised to love, honor and be faithful, with another woman. Especially one who is 20 years younger than he is and having his child spawned from lies and deciet. Wow, that felt good to get out......

I do have a friend of the family who is a lawyer, but unfortunetly the H got to her first to ask her all kinds of custody and paternity stuff. There is no way now I can ask her if she knows someone who can divorce us cheap especially after she thinks we are doing so well. Everyone is so glad we are going to counseling. Well I'll tell ya, it ain't working! I must be the only one who can see this.

Oh well, I really think that Monday is the day that I get it all out and let him know exactly how I am feeling. Which is a good thing. It will save us the time of going to the counselor since Tuesday is our usual day.

Thanks again,
Diane

DW1, I still think you are doing great. It is completely normal for you to break down right now! You are going through a lot! I feel the same way at times. Some times I feel that I am doing great, other times, I just feel I can't do any of this anymore and want it all to be over.

I told my BIL that the other day, "I just want all of this to be over!" He said "Oh, pregnancy isn't what you expected?" I said, "It's not the pregnancy that is the problem, I just want the divorce to be over!

So, I know that it's hard, and I just wanted to tell you that you seem to be thinking clearly and you are doing great! Good luck talking to H!

I would go to the family friend if I were you anyway.

I called a bunch of lawyers and told them all my situation and quit a few of them offered to take payments and only 500 down to get it all started.

they felt sorry for me....I had a payment plan and made monthly payments with the stipulationt that I would pay my lawyer in full with my tax return, which I did and yes he had to pay half my fees.

Well after all that I am reconciling as of this month LOL
But the smack with reality really woke my H up.

I've been going through a similiar situation with my wife of 3 years. We separated unofficially on New Years Eve and I found out April 1 that she was 2 months pregnant with another guys child. You do the math. The separation was her idea in the first place and I've been in "give her space mode" hoping that time apart would somehow bring us back together. This wasn't what I had in mind but I guess the lord truly does work in mysterious ways.

I want to be a loving husband and rush to her side but theres this selfish side of me that wants retribution. The guy who came between us was an old friend who I've never met. He is only six months removed from his first marriage and he has two kids of his own that he never sees. My wife tells me that she didn't even have feelings for this guy and that he was just a friend who listened and consoled her when i wasn't being a great husband. One thing lead to another and boom! Baby on the way!

She's four months pregnant now and already she has come to the conclusion that this baby will never know its biological father. My wife never knew her father and she has some very serious mental health issues that have resulted from it, so this has been especially hard on her. She has asked me to consider being a father figure for the baby. I love my wife and this baby will of course be half hers so I feel obligated to love and support it. I figure no matter how much I've been hurt by this it pales in comparison to what that poor child will go through growing up without a loving father figure in its life. I can't let this child go through what my wife went through as a child. I've seen what its done to her and no child should ever go through that. Can you imagine trying to explain to a four year old why his brothers get to go hang out with there dad but he can't come? I guess I don't have to be married to my wife to love this child and be there for it but I think I'm still in love with her and as long as that holds true divorcing her just doesn't seem like a valid option, even after this.

I hope you and your husband can work things out and find a solution that works for your family. What ever your faith, turn to it. I've never been a deeply religious man but I was raised christian. During these difficult times I've found comfort in the teachings of Christ. Especially that line from the bible about "let he who's never sinned cast the first stone". I figure I was called to love this woman for some reason and true love means accepting your partners human nature. I just hope she's a little less human in the future.

It's been a while since I last wrote. Things were so hectic for a while. I ended up telling my husband that he had to go. For my sanity and to leave me with any dignity that I had left. I told him I was better being without him than having him in my life anymore.

I came home from work that afternoon and he was gone. He didn't say good bye to our son that morning he got him on the school bus. I was left with the deed of explaining to our six year old that daddy wouldn't be living with us anymore. That went better than I expected though. I think even a little boy knew something was up. Kids can just sense these things.

Well, I called the OW's house and sure enough my H answered the phone. I told him thanks for leaving me with telling our son he was gone and thanks for deserting us. The rest of the night I cried and cried and cried some more. I didn't know one person had so many tears. I missed him so much. I didn't know how I was going to live without him.

Then about 1:00 in the morning my phone rings. It was my H. He asked if I could come pick him up. He said that he has never been more uncomfortable in his life and that where he was felt like the most wrong place in the world. He knew what he had done was wrong and where he was wasn't where he wanted to be. So I grabbed the kid, told him he could sleep in the car on the way to go pick up daddy. I didn't even think twice about going to get him.

He met us in a parking lot close by. I pulled up next to him, flew out of the car, we hugged like we never wanted to let go of each other. He said to me, "let's go home". Both of us and our little guy all cried the whole ride home. When we got home, my H hugged me and our son and promised us that he would never leave us again and that he is going to stop hurting us.

For the past two weeks he's had no contact with the OW at all. All the things he said he was going to do for her, he hasn't done. He's spent that time with me and our son instead.

I know he still wants to be involved when the baby comes. Once and if it is proven his, he will give child support and I know he wants visitation. That is still going to be very had for me to handle. But I do know that these past two weeks I can actually say that I've been happy again. I haven't been happy in so long I forgot what it felt like.

I don't know how long this feeling will last, but I'm going to enjoy it while I have it again. And if down the road things don't work out, at least I know I gave it everything I had and I will have no regrets.

I thank you all so much for your support. I'm glad I'm not the only one this is happening to. And as far as the previous post's message, I to am still in love with my husband. I just can't seem to stop loving him. I don't know why. Maybe there is such a thing as a soul mate and when you find it, you can't let go no matter what happens in your relationship. I know we are only human beings and lord knows I've made my share of mistakes. Not quite the extent my H has made, but there were times he stood by me when I didn't think he would. I don't know what our plan is for the long road ahead, or even if there is a plan, but I know whatever happens, I can't imagine my life without him.

Don't think I have on the rose colored glasses either. Because I don't. I took those off along time ago. I just love my husband and I'm not ready to let go.

Thanks to all,
Diane