I just found out on 4/18/05. I had grown suspicious because she had been so distant for so long. We had recovered (I thought) from her A 5 years ago. Some investigating that I did made her angry and it all started spewing out. Only a few nights before she had assured me all was fine and we just needed to find the time to get out. Now all of the sudden she wants a divorce, we were never compatible, I'm not outgoing enough, I'm to serious and don't have a sense of humor, she married me on the rebound and didn't date around and she has no love for me. I realized she had been thinking divorce for a while. I found a stash of money where she had been planning to open her own account. I was posting this under Recovery - Relapse Please Help and some posters were suspicious as well. I obtained a cell phone detail and she had been talking to "Angela" more than me or her best friend. I had some one call. Angela is really Jimmy. Past date records indicate it's been going on about 5 months. She says it was only an EA but I highly doubt it since two previous (1 in our marriage and 1 in her previous marriage) were both physical. But I'm just going on to see if we can save it regardless. She claims no contact since 4/21/05. The last time she had hardly any withdrawal. This time she is crying for him and says she has no love for me. I'm not sure how long I will be able to endure this. We read and did an unbelievable amount of work to save our M from the first A. She promised she would never hurt me like this again. She says because I still did not trust her after 5 years she became angry with me and at God because we had gone through all we did in vain. I told her that we did recover because I had forgiven but perhaps we just did not have a good enough plan for boundaries going forward - one that was open and agreed upon.

Any one else been betrayed 2 or more times??? This makes my third since my first spouse was unfaithful as well. I'm not sure how long I can last. We have 2 kids though and I treasure my family.

Don't know that I provide any encouragement or insight other than to say that you are not alone.

It's time for a "gut check". Time to ask yourself the hard questions. Take your time and determine what YOU want. Be both honest with yourself and sincere in your desire.

I can't imagine how you feel. I agree it is time for a gut check. Do you think she will ever be faithful? I know I could not take what you have been through so many times. I told my FWW if she ever hurt me like that again I would kick her out, period. Have you set boundaries with her?

TMW

Yeah, I said the exact same thing and here I am. You might want to rethink that. You never know what you'll do when these overwhelming emmotions kick in. Boundaries were a big issue and she did not think she should have to have any after 5 years. I think that we recovered good and just did not have a good plan for going forward. I'm going to give it one last try for the kid's sake and see if we can get through it and come to a better understanding of boundaries and implement some that will satisfy both of us.