Well we were 13 months past D-day, i thought we were in recovery but apparently we weren't.

The M just couldn't be saved. I had posted on the recovery board, my H was monitoring it. He said that everything I posted there was a pack of lies, it wasn't - I have the proof to back it up. All that aside, we are now in the process of divorcing. It's not pretty, not what I wanted but this is where I'm at.

Just wondering how some of you other MB's are dealing with this. The stress of having to start over, financially, emotionally. The stress of court hearings, we just had one yesterday for extending the Order of Protection for 2 years, the judge did grant that. It was very stressful.

What bits of advice, information can you offer?

Dana,

I would be encouraged by some wisdom from Dr Frank Pitt author of Private Lies. In his long years of counseling he claims to have NEVER seen a marriage fail with a lone infidelity, the A was truly over, no contact and BOTH partners in therapy. His book is wonderful, I would recomend it highly.

Best of luck

Dana,

I followed you over here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Hey I can not find your email address. I did find the profile but didn't see your addy. I really would like to stay in touch so if you would email me then I would have your address. My address is down in my signature line. Hope to hear from you. And really hope you're having an okay day today.

Tig

The A had been over for a long, long time. However, it is more than just an A that killed the M. There is a history of physical, emotional and verbal abuse that just had to stop. If you're wondering if I still have contact with the OM - it's been over 2 years since I've spoken, seen or had anything to do with him and I don't ever intend to contact him. My H knew this last year (we're 13 months past D-day). He wanted to talk about my feelings during the A, what was i thinking, feeling, what prompted me to do what I did. When I shared these with him, he didn't want to accept my answers. I was not blaming him, he has not exactly treated me with kindness and respect for the entire 11 1/2 years we've been M. I am not saying that by me having an A that I treated him the best, I didn't. I have apologized, recommitted, what ever I could do to help the hurt heal. However, the continued verbal abuse never stopped. No matter how hurt or angry you are with someone, that gives no right to demean, humiliate and make that other individual feel like dirt and worthless.

I also did not want to be hit again. Once is too much, I've put up with this off and on for the entire 11 1/2 years.