My last post in MB must have in Feb 05...since then i have moved on and never look back.

I have met someone. OP was also part of the reason why i filed my divorce papers earlier than expected. I wanted to go on a journey of finding myself and wait another 3 months before i file. Later i realised that there is no turn back since i met OP.

I feel quilty for not spending more time here in MB...i used to spend hours a day on this site...MB has helped me a lot.

Although MB technics did not save my marriage but it did save ME...especially non contact/plan B...that plan help me to move along...without it i think i will still be stuck in that dark pit of hell.

I have very minimum contact with stbx. I dont obsessed about him anymore. STBX is still with OW. 2 weeks ago he started to involve OW into his outing with our daughter. At first it hurt but now i dont bother...its part of the process.

STBX does not know about OP yet. I will mentioned about OP only after the divorce is through. I am scared that STBX might do something if he knows...ws is a major cake man.

I do not want to be married with STBX. I finally realised that he has a big flaw in his character. OP has all the values and moral that is lacking in stbx.

There is no way i will return to STBX even IF OP and me do not work out.

It was a long journey getting here where i am so happy with life again.

Just have to say that without MB i would not be here today. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Glad to hear things are going well Zizzy. It does get better doesn't it! Its great to hear about positive endings... I truly believe that although I wouldn't force this on my worst enemy it will make me a better, stronger person.

Thanks for the upbeat post!

Cheers,

Miker

I am so happy for you. It makes me think that there may be light at the end of this very long tunnel. I still am obsessing about his newest GF and I think I don't want him back. I know that he has character flaws. It helps to know that we can start our lives over and be happy.
Best of luck to you.

You're married... rushed up the filing....because you met someone new?

Miker and cindy...thanks for your reply

Cinder...the divorce papers were done and signed in Oct 04...i procastinate on filing it because i wanted to make sure of my feelings...there were so many times i wanted to file them but decide to just wait a little longer. To decided end it or not was the hardest decision i had to make...i have posted my dillema in GQ2...that was where i used to hang out.

I gave myself deadlines after deadlines...after each deadline i evaluate if i could or not wait a little longer for the sake of my daughter...however the final deadline to file was definately and without doubt June 30..i have posted that intention too.

I was stuck in that limbo land...still obsessing about WS...yes and no...i was feeling lonely and empty...cant let WS go although i was doing a pretty good non contact...i cant let him go emotionally. I knew deep inside me that it will take another person then i can let it go completely...so yes...OP played a part in my decision to file earlier than intended.

I made sure i file it fast after 3 dates with OP and before i even commit anything with OP...the best part is that day i filed it...that same day at night...my WS said to me...that he will file the papers but wanted me to pay for all the legal fees. We agreed to share the fees but now he said he got no money to pay his share. I felt good telling him that i have already filed the papers in the afternoon. I was also relief, knowing that he wanted to file the papers too

WS has no value...his character is flawed...he comes from a dysfuntional family and his faith is weak. OP is completely the opposite...now that i have a second chance in life...i am making sure the next person has all the values and moral...must have family and marriage values...and must be GOD fearing christian....no more will i settle for less than that.

I can understand how the affair started...i admit i was part of the cause..i was willing to work and make this marriage work but stbx never lifted a hand...it took me a long long time to realised that the fault rest on stbx and NOT ME. How can you save a marriage when your WS does not do anything to stop the affair and continue to eat cake. He did not give me one bit of respect...i was the only one trying and giving...hurting and crying while he continues to have his fun. He did not even have any compassion for how hurtful he has been to me and how much pain he has cause our daughter.

If he has any VALUE and BRAINS he would have seen MY pain, our relationship of 18 years, the absurdity of going out with OW 16 years junior and for the sake of our daughter at least...stop the affair. But NO...he did not because he has no value...a flaw in his character due to his upbringing. It took Lemonman's posting to make me realise this fact.

I will NOT go back to WS even if OP and me do not work out...its too late...i have seen too much.

I have forgiven WS and OW but i cannot forget. I have reach a level in this journey when i dont feel pain anymore. I have even accept OW as someone who will be involve in my daughter's life and feel no pain in that either. Before i would have taken out the axe and chop OW head off if she even comes anywhere near my daughter!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I still plan to continue my journey on the highroad no matter what but going back to WS is NOT an option anymore.

Hi Zizzy!

It's most wonderful to hear from you!
I am happy that you are moving along and you seem to have made the right decision for yourself. I can almost 'see' you smiling now!!

I am interested in Lemonman's post to you, highlighting x's character. Would you show me where it is? I have signed the D papers, but FWH has not. It is still difficult for me.

Do continue to visit us once in awhile. I do think of you.

Take care!
Ruffled

hey ruffled...how are you?

Yes...i am smilling.

I think it was one of Lemonman's first few postings...i am not sure where it is...

You will get to this point oneday...its not hard getting here...all you need is faith in GOD and make the necessary changes you need...for example if you are sad...make yourself happy...surround yourself with friends and family...the best advice i have gotten out of MB is NON CONTACT...so avoid your FWH as much as you can...his presence will only suck the life out of you..

Take care ruff