hi, i am the BS my H had a 2and a half month A with a COWorker. i found out it ended.he did'nt love her. he did get a new job.he does everything for me. hardly did things for me the 12 yrs we were married.hardly spent time with our 2 kids. Now thats all he likes to do.before the A we never were able to commuicate with each other. we would go months with out those three words.we would have the sex and that was it now i can actully feel like we make love.we are closer than ever before. he tells me he could give me the world i would just have to ask. it did take four months for the whole truth to come out. he said he had to protec what he realizes he could actully have. he did'nt want to lose me once we realized i loved him.that was our problem we both had feelings we kept to ourselves .he is so different now.i had the best mothers day ever. it was all time spent together we painted bird houses he hung them up out back.
we went to dinner.we went to the park.he puts off homework if he thinks hes spending to much time away.That was another problem he worked full time went to school full time during this A and all his extra time went for homework.He will have his Bachlors Degree in a week and he always said he will go right back for his Masters. Now hes putting that off.He paints pictures for me.Hes got the whole family into drawing.here are some questions.

Could an A really change a person for better?
It did take four months for everything to come out the only things that were differnt was he did go to her house at times and he slept with her more than the one time it was three times.like i said he told me he lied to protect what he now has.should i just leave this alone?
How do i let the past stay in the past?
Thanks,LL

Lastinglove -

No. you can't just leave this alone. You both need to work together to see why this happened and to make sure it doesn't happen again.

You can do the Emotional Needs questionnaire found here. Also be sure to spend at least 15 hours a week doing fun things together. You want to be certain that your marriage doesn't go back like it was before.

Only time will tell if this is a permanent change in your husband, or just a temporary change because he feels guilty. But so far, it sounds very promising.

NO !!. I am of the belief that there is NOTHING good that can ever come from an affair. The goals that we all should strive for is to prevent an affair from happening in our marriages.

Hi, Lastinglove.

Quote:
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Could an A really change a person for better?
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An affair is a bad choice. Robbing a bank is a bad choice. Driving while intoxicated is a bad choice.

Choosing to not repeat bad choices is a good choice, but the good choice was not generated by the bad choice.

All the best,
Gimble