Hi everyone, I hope your weekends went good <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mine went pretty good. H is home (mentally again) and still had bad moments over the weekend, but like he said to me, he doesn't know how he is going to get over the pain, but this is where he wants to be and I am who he wants to be with.

He knows how sorry I am, and doesn't doubt that at all - it's the loss of the dream of marriage he had that he is struggling with. But I told him we will go at his pace.

After the snuff treatment the girl gave him on Friday, she still called late last night to wish him a Happy Birthday on his cell, he said thank you then said he had to go as he was watching a movie with me. He said he jsut doesn't understand women - after the defensive she was on Friday when he said they can only have a working relationship, he didn't understand why she was calling. I said - she was hurt Friday, and still wants to be your friend now - you will just have to stand firm - keep it work no matter how much she talks to you personally, remind her work related only.

My Church's sermon yesterday was just as emotional as last weeks. This week was about how in order to do great things, we need to accept God's image of ourselves, not our own twisted self image. ANd God's image of us is not based on our past failures, sins, history, etc. That it is based on his when we are standing at his door letting him back in.

I bawled, but in my spiritual healing, it helped me more with realizing I am not my past, just because I made such a poor choice and was such a failure and bad person for it, it doesn't make me so now. That if I believe I am a horrible person for doing that, I will NEVER get my sense of self back. That it was a horrible choice, and I may have been or thought I was a horrible person then - but it is not who I am now, and I am not defined by that person. I am defined by who I am NOW, and who I plan on being. And I plan on being God's child.

It was a very hard sermon to listen too - lots of tears. I came home in quite a quiet mood, which H thought was because of him, and I explained it was a deep thought I was in - grasping what I had learned today.

I am excited about my one-on-one coucelling at the Church on Friday.

Anyways - thanks for ready again <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I like to post here, as it gets out my thoughts.

-ds