Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1370169 05/09/05 03:11 PM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4
S
Junior Member
Junior Member
S Offline
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4
This past Saturday my H informed me that about 3 months ago he got really drunk at a poker game and ended up sleeping with a girl he didn't know. He can not remember anything about the incident, because he said he drank too much. To top things off the one night stand girl has claimed to be pregnant with his child. I have also learned this he has talked to her on the phone and emailed her after the incident.
My husband and I would have been married for 4 year this August. We do not have children yet. (Lucky for us we decided to wait.)
Our marriage has had its ups and downs. We were married very young, I was 18 and he was 22. So we have gone through both of us going to school full-time and working full-time, until this past November when I graduated. He has also been there for me when my arthritis flared. I have a job that I love, my arthritis is mostly in remission, and I thought I had a husband that would never hurt me. (Guess I was wrong.)
I know that he is hurting also and he claims that he wishes he could change things. He would like too see our marriage last, but he is leaving that decision up to me.
I have kicked him out, telling him that I need time to think without him around. I do love my H still. I would give anything to make things go back to the way that they were. (Before his cheating, we were finally to the point in our marriage that I thought we had found true happiness.)
I have called and scheduled a marriage counseling session for us for this week. I believe that I could forgive him over time for the cheating, but I don't think that I could handle dealing with or thinking that there is a child out there that is not mine, but is his. (Unfortunately, he can not get a straight answer from the one night stand as to whether she truely is pregnant or if she just said she was to make him come clean with me.)
I really want to try and make this work, but I don't think that I can wait 6-7 more months to know if she really is pregnant and whether the child is truely his. What should I do, I feel completely lost?

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Shell,

Welcome to MB. I am so sorry for the situation that brings you here. Is your WH still in C with the OW? If so, NC needs to be established. If she is indeed pg you can deal with that later. Once you have proof of the pg and subsequently with DNA you can decide whether or not to have C with the OC. If the child is his, he will need to pay support for the child whether you decide to have the child in your life or not. You may want to jump over to the preg/child board too for some help.

Since you are young and have no children, to stay M'd or not is entirely your decision. Instead of deciding out of pure hurt and emotion, go ahead and go to the MC. See how things go and then decide. You don't have to make this decision today. Keep reading the site about the MB concepts and read WAT's quick start guide for new BS's. Keep posting too.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 568 guests, and 75 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
vivian alva, Zion9038xe, renki, Gocroswell, Allen Inverson
72,027 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by leemc - 07/18/25 10:58 AM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Spying husband arrested
by coooper - 06/24/25 09:19 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,522
Members72,027
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0