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Aw, c'mon, t&l! I wasn't trying to start a rival commune! I was merely suggesting an alternative!!! Y'all can come, too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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Boy, I bet Believer is relieved to hear THAT! She's been dancing around for the last 20 minutes trying to make sure nobody was sneaking up on her legs!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> At least now she can relax. Neak says they wouldn't be rivals; we should call them "sister communes." Personally, I'm waiting for someone to start a commune on Waikiki Beach. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> t&l
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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[color:"purple"] WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS [/color]
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Friday, Jan. 20th, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Demonstration and Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost
Real Life Testimonials and Role Playing.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
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A quick update on my sex life, since apparently there is breathless anxiety that perhaps it is consuming too much of my time. Well, I wish. As Mom said, AJ is very sick right now, not too sick to leer endearingly and make naughty remarks, but far too sick to act on them. I still had one extra night of pelvic rest. After his long week he was so tired that he fell straight to sleep. Normally that would be only a small challenge, not even an obstacle, but as soon as anything happened, he curled up in a tight little ball like an armadillo and wouldn't budge again. So I read myself to sleep. At least he woke up nice and early in the morning. SS, I am not back up to full strength yet, but I have been in a weakened condition for a year now. Judging by how many places were sore, martial arts classes will help me to recover quickly. {{{{{AW}}}}}}} The last week was difficult (for me), but we are better now, having talked about things. At least the downward parts of the spiral are seeming to usually be shorter these days, and more of the time is up. I have been drooling over the real estate daily. I cannot wait to start the commune! Well, must dash. 2/3 of my bed is still covered with the laundry I have been folding, and I ought to do even more (but probably won't). My contribution to nursing home sex stories is to tell about the little old man who kept trying to get me to give him head - "it's where you suck on me". Primly, "I'm sorry, sir, but that would not be appropriate." Plaintively, "Whyyyyy???" "Because I'm supposed to take care of you." "But that IS..." "BUT NOT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!" ............................... "Whyyyyyyyy?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Apparently he like to chase all the girl CNA's, so it's not like I was special. He was not above a slap and tickle with any of the elderly ladies, either. This was the same man who, during his shower, solemnly informed me, "You shouldn't wash me there...I might get aroused." You can imagine the look of false brightness on the face of that poor, delicate maiden as she tried to explain why she had to wash there anyway, even in the face of such a grave risk. Night, all.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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ROFLMBO! Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Problem solved at our house. Icemaker.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Also need to include a discussion of how to remember where the toilet paper is kept.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Demonstration and Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
I've dreamed of inventing a device that attaches to the toilet bowl. It would consist of a tube that would remain upright, yet be flexible enough to adjust to the proper height, and have a funnel type thingie at the top so that he could just hold it up to himself. End of splashing!
The course should also include a segment on flushing.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
3 weeks ain't long enough!
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Should also include a discussion on dumping leftovers into the side of the sink with the disposal!
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
The answer to this is to drive him insane by buying a universal remote and keeping it hidden in the side of your chair, where you can surreptiously change the channels when he's not looking.
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
With emphasis on looking underneath whatever you plopped down on top of whatever you're looking for!
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Need more than three nights, I'm afraid!
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost
Real Life Testimonials and Role Playing.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
I can volunteer my H for a testimonial. When we were hauling campers, he wouldn't ask for directions, and ended up on a narrow dead-end street with a 30' camper. Had to back into an up-hill driveway, and bent the frame on the camper when it dropped off the culvert. Cost us $682 that insurance wouldn't pay!
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
This should be retitled "How To Keep Your Mouth Shut While She's Driving Since You Trust Her To Drive Your Children"
Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
For self-employed men, it should also address the issue of treating your spouse like an employee or maid.
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Should also include a session on "How To Fork Out The Dough Without Feigning a Heart Attack"
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Should also include memorization of the locations of Department Stores, Jewelers, and Florists.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
I found that my H learned all about stoves after I "retired" from cooking. I simply told him that I cooked for the first 22 years, and he could cook for the next 22 years. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by Lady Clueless; 01/23/06 12:52 AM.
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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That is hilarous, Neak! This was the same man who, during his shower, solemnly informed me, "You shouldn't wash me there...I might get aroused." That reminds me of the similar story about the CNA who was giving a sponge bath to a patient (who was like your old guy). She finally told him, "I'll tell you what. I'll start with your face and wash down as far as possible. Then, I'll go to your feet and wash up as far as possible. Since you're feeling so good, you can wash 'possible'!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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My grandma always used to say that to me every time I gave her a shower - each time as fresh as the first time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Man, I would have been delighted to let that guy wash his own possible, but sadly, it wasn't. Possible, that is.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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My grandma always used to say that to me every time I gave her a shower - each time as fresh as the first time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Fresh for your Grandma, maybe. I'll betcha it wasn't quite so fresh for YOU by the time you'd heard it for the millionth shower! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Just be thankful that, at least so far, your Grandpa is a man of, um, continuing possibilities. I found it to feel a bit strange helping him out with his personal care while he was in the hospital last year, and I'm a nurse, for pete's sake. I can't imagine you'd find it any more comfortable yourself to take care of those intimate duties, either. And quite frankly, if he had a marble left in his head by then, he'd be more <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> by it than any of us could possibly hope to be! t&l
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So if the commune is in the south, let it be on the beach. ok fair enough .. I like the beach! In Aussies home town A ready made commune - I could afford this one ..just ..if I sell the kids Dam & own beach The Berry farm I could be talked into it Take a tour of the website ..I could see myself running this ... now who will lend me $4m to buy it???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> Yes ... well I knew I could find the PERFECT place The big house for us.. the small place for mum & dad .. they could eat with us every night .. just wait until I EXPLAIN THAT to Aussie!!! lol <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.
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Mornin AW..
Good shopping but a little too pricey for my Yankee behind.
Of course if you live on the beach you will need a swimming pool. You know, sand in the bathing suit and all.
I did like the one with the cow in the picture. From the open range to the kitchen range in 5 minutes flat. Talk about fresh!!
JE
D-day 5-18-05
35 BS (me)
52 WH
17 DS
15 DD
14 DDs twins
Currently in R.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" The Serenity Prayer
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Ooooh, JE, can't eat cows on the Neakommune, because the whole family doesn't eat meat. They will have to be pets.
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Darn it didnt do my homework I guess..
So no meat?? Wow that is tough.
So if no meat, then what the heck are we going to eat?
Are we all going to be farming and gardening?
D-day 5-18-05
35 BS (me)
52 WH
17 DS
15 DD
14 DDs twins
Currently in R.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" The Serenity Prayer
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Farming and gardening, yep. Neaksis knows how to can.
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Wow!!
I feel quite useless to the commune. Well I am not only a nurse but a vet. tech. so I guess I can doctor up the long list of edible pets.
Is fish out of the question also?
JE
D-day 5-18-05
35 BS (me)
52 WH
17 DS
15 DD
14 DDs twins
Currently in R.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" The Serenity Prayer
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Hi JE !! you can't eat mary..mary is such a gentle milk cow .. follows me around, the goats are named too, as are the chickens, the sheep, roos, cattle, foxes, rabbits, ..so I'll eat meat BUT you have to get it from the farm next door!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Hi B! How are you? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.
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Fish are Aussies so you can eat them..I dont eat much seafood - mainly because certain people in this house dont leave me any!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.
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Hi AW. Doing fine.
JE - They don't eat anything with a face.
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AW, I can do that. Could I take my one beef critter there and use him? Can you believe that? Me a beef critter? I even named him but trust me, come November, yummy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> JE
D-day 5-18-05
35 BS (me)
52 WH
17 DS
15 DD
14 DDs twins
Currently in R.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" The Serenity Prayer
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They don't eat anything with a face. Just had this sudden image of Aussie furtively using a black marker to draw a face on vege's in the kitchen and walking off as if nothing was wrong ... lol <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.
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