Hi Neak -

Honestly, I'm not quite sure how I am, but am still progressing, whatever that means.

Honestly, I wondered so I asked.
I worry when you add the "whatever that means."

Trust should be increrasing
Fear should be decreasing
You should be more at ease
Less worried
Less stressed

Of course, you have had more to deal with than the aftermath of the A itself.


I am still weighed down pretty heavily with grief, but getting ready for that appraisal helped me to get a little more up to speed physically, and I can work longer than 10-15 minutes at a time.

What do you do for stress relief. Lets see, that could be a loaded question - I mean by your self. Take walks..... Work in the garden........ what provides that preasure relief valve for you? Along with that, can you get into a routine of doing it at least three times a week.

Singing is a short term tool. It helps with thoughts that come when you are doing something you can't quit right then. It's seldom a person can't at least sing to them self for thought control.

This other activity is for long term stress relief. Something where you can do it without much thought, while your mind wanders to other things. Young mothers seldom get that kind of time, but I think it helps a great deal in the way of letting go of things that bother us, and seeing a brighter future. Silent prayer is a help, and song too, but it's the time to let your mind wander that is important.

Some do it at the gym - but I was never into that.
My W does it while folding clothes. It took me a while to figure out why some days she wanted to fold clothes when she was stressed. She also takes walks most mornings with a good friend, but that is so much more dificult when the children are small.

M-wise we are pretty good. The urge to D comes over me less often now, and AJ has been doing many thoughtful things for me.

Hey, same for my W. She says the urge comes much less often now days. (grin) I would guess if i keep on as well as I am doing for another 2 to 3 hundred years, it will go away all together.

The only unthoughtful things there have been, he doesn't realize (yet) how it affected me. (But that was only last night, so I haven't had a chance to separate myself from it enough to talk.)

What I have been wondering about (and as I said, its just kind of a vague thing, that I can't identify) is if he is doing well in other areas. It's rare that we marry someone that is perfect. We try to remember that we have faults too, and forgive the faults in our spouse, but if you have read HNHN, and "Love Busters, Habits that destroy Romantic Love" you know that there are probably other things that really get to us that we would like to forget about but can't. It affects our relationship even when we think we are doing pretty well.

So, I wondered if there is something else that you have not talked about, or that was never resolved completly that may be in the back of your mind still.

For some it's that their spouse spends too much time watching ball games. (OR TV in general)

For some it's that their W shops and buys things when there is no money.

For some, their H doesn't seem to take providing for the family seriously.

These are just examples, but think on it, and see if anything comes to you. If you sometimes find yourself thinking "this shouldn't bother me, after all, it's a little thing, and he is doing so well in other ways" - then that would be a clue.

Jesus expects us (on the one side) to forgive, and have patience. But he also expects us (on the other) to perfect ourselves, and not cause our spouse grief. Both of these things need to be progressing, not just extending patience.


Overall we are pretty good.

I trust you when you say this. I am glad to hear it.
Really glad.

May God continue to bless you with progress.

How is your family?

We are mostly happy, mostly healthy (it's hay fever time!) and we love each other. The twins are progressing on the piano. They actually like it. God is very kind to us in so many ways.


Here's to everyone having a very good weekend.

SS

Hope the hay fever gets better for all. Thank you, I will give the other some thought.

Mom, I made a transfer into my account to cover the appraisal and the counseling tomorrow. I couldn't find the checkbook till after the guy left, and btw I found your cell phone in my car behind the Dervish's car seat.

Grandpa is gone to a men's Bible study tonight, so right now the house is v e r y quiet, and no TV's on anywhere. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I'm going to the Aussie family dinner. Sounds better than what I will get.

Morning or whatever time it is for you all, after 4 wines it's very hard to work it all out <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Cinderella you would have been very welcome, there was so much food it was unbelievable.
Good fun by all and grumpy, Aussie and the J's drank more beer than I thought they could. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Aussie also ate a doz fresh oysters, 30 prawns, 6 slices of smoked salmon, 3 peices of fish, barramundi, Schnapper, and whiting.
They also all stood around the BBQ for religious ceremonies with beers, you know the BURNT offerings!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Mikey was passed around to his great grand mother & great Aunts like pass the parcel.
AW didn't have one wine and only picked at food when left alone, Doc Mandy was busily feeding her sister and totally ignoring her refusals ..<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

One of my other grand daughters, the 15 yr old, had a bit of a shock the other day. She was on the train coming home at night and a pair of transport police came into her carriage where she and 4 other people where the only passengers. The 4 other people were young women with one who was staring at my GD a bit funny. She thought the girl and the others were drugged, they were as it happens, anyway the guards came up and nervously asked her for her ticket and said to her sorry miss this ticket is invalid. GD said what are yout talking about I just bought it 20 min ago at the Perth Station. They repeated it and each guard took her arm and as the train stopped at a station, marched her off onto the platform.
Soon as the train moved off the guards still with her spoke into their radio's and said it was clear, They then apologised to her and told her the girl staring at her had been killed by the 3 other girls for not sharing her drugs with them!!!
Armed police were waiting at the next station.
I mean we don't have this sort of thing often in Perth. I mean its still a big deal when we have fatal car crashes for goodness sakes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
Isn't it sad that drugs steal so many lives. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

OH, my word!!! Bless her heart....she is the same age as my daughter. I can only imagine how shaken she must have been. HOW did she get home?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> for Aussie's cast-iron gullet, and <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> for you poor GD. Do you have any idea how the other girl was killed?

Hello everyone. may you all have a happy happy Easter and blessings on you all.

Good Friday mass so crowded, we had 1000's outside the cathedral who could not get anywhere near the door, I think the state of the world has got people thinking. Biggest crowd for a long time!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
I did try to convince Aussie the building would not fall down on him like Samson if he came in with us but he wasn't buying any, oh well he ate only fish I suppose so small improvements are still improvements!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mikey was sick all over the new lounge tonight. Projectile vomiting everything he'd eaten, slurped or drunk the previous hours. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
He was a lot better after though. I told Aussie he should not give him the chocolate icecream but would he listen? NO!! and then he did a runner at clean up time too !! blinkin men!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
Of course AW went green scooping goo and started to heave so she retreated to get clean, not the strongest of tummys is our girl <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Grumpy got romantic last night, I blame it on the oysters he scoffed at Mandy's house. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> That or he was missing the night shift for the job he hasn't got because he's retired you know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Our poor little GD will not travel on the train now poor honey. The victims advice line offered counselling but she is not sure yet, still very raw. I gently tried to suggest it would be a good idea but shes very confused. mum & dad are watching her very closely and driving her everywhere right now.
There was very little in the newspaper or TV just that it will be alledged the 3 girls hit the 4th with a stick or bar and it was caught on the rail station video. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
It would appear they were all so out of it they thought the one who died had just slipped into a grug induced sleep and dragged her into the train when it arrived. What a terrible waste. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, all are in bed, my big GD is actually home with AW & Aussie because she always loves being woken on Easter morning by the smell of cooking hot cross buns and the sound of AW trying to tell Aussie to stay out of the kitchen. She starts off diplomatically but ends up ordering him to move it.
I'm almost sure it's his quirky sense of humour at work but one is never sure <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

We are missing young Aussie though. I really don't look forward to him going overseas. AW is bottling everything up about that as she tends to do. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

But Easter is a time for new beginnings so I am hoping for some for all here on the MB board too, as well as here at home.
Good grief they are still at it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> stupid oysters. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
At least grumpy is snoring away in the spare room so I had better go and get some sleep before the early morning ructions and my other daughters and son arrive with the hordes - in 4 hours <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

She needs to go. Thank goodness the security guys/police got her off when they did.

Oysters......bwaaahaaaaaaahaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Glad you had such a nice time together. Of course it's only just Easter morning here.

Tell Aussie the church will only fall down on him if he wraps his arms around the central pillars and pulls the whole thing down. Wow, that's an interesting visual. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

And your poor poor little GD. Of course she's still terrified; anyone would be.

Anyone want to adopt a dog? I've got a great chow/shepherd mix puppy we picked up in the parking lot at Target!

Dogs get lost too, and it makes them so sad.
Hope it ends up back home.

Happy Monday everyone !

SS

Wis. Court Mulls Usage of Victim's Letter

By CARRIE ANTLFINGER
The Associated Press
Monday, April 17, 2006; 6:56 AM

MILWAUKEE -- About two weeks before her death, Julie C. Jensen went to a neighbor, shaking and crying, and handed over a sealed envelope. If anything happened to her, she said, he should give it to police. She wrote that she felt her husband never forgave her for a brief affair she had seven years earlier, and that she had seen him visit Internet sites about poisoning.

"I pray I'm wrong + nothing happens ... but I am suspicious of Mark's suspicious behaviors + fear for my demise," the 40-year-old woman allegedly wrote in the letter dated Nov. 21, 1998.

More than seven years after the southern Wisconsin woman died from poisoning, the state Supreme Court is considering whether to allow her statements as evidence in her husband's murder trial.

Jensen was found dead Dec. 3, 1998, in her bed in her Pleasant Prairie home about 40 miles south of Milwaukee. An autopsy revealed she died from at least two doses of ethylene glycol, commonly used as antifreeze.

Toxicology tests led to a first-degree intentional homicide charge against her 46-year-old husband, Mark, in 2002. His defense lawyer has claimed she committed suicide.

In addition to the letter she gave to the neighbor, Julie Jensen allegedly told her son's teacher that she had found a suspicious list of drugs and syringes her husband wanted to buy and feared her husband planned to poison her.

She told the teacher she thought "he might try to kill her with a drug overdose and make it look like a suicide," a criminal complaint said. She also left voice mails for police and told them in person of the lists, and warned them if she died, her husband was responsible, court records said.

After her death, the neighbor gave the envelope to police. Julie Jensen had included photographs of some of the suspicious lists and wrote she would never take her own life because of her love for her children.

A forensic toxicologist found no trace of ethylene glycol in the house, the complaint said. She would have been too weak to hide the chemical after drinking the last dose, it said.

The day before the death, the defendant went to an Internet site that, among other things, describes the stages and effects of antifreeze poisoning, the complaint said.

Mark Jensen was later ordered to stand trial.

But in March 2004, the U.S. Supreme Court overruled a 1980 case that laid out complex rules for when statements can be used without the opportunity for cross-examination. The court said the case complicated a fairly straightforward part of the Constitution, which guarantees a criminal defendant the right to confront his accusers.

The trial judge then ruled that the letter and voice mails were inadmissible, but the testimony of the neighbor and teacher could be allowed.

Both sides appealed and the attorney general asked the state Supreme Court to hear the case.

The victim's brother, Paul Griffin, said the letter given to the neighbor is a critical part of the case. "I can't understand laws that would be written to not allow something like that to be admitted as evidence," he said in a recent phone interview.

Mark Jensen's attorney Craig Albee wouldn't comment: "Because it's a pending case, I don't have much to say about it." A phone number listed for Mark Jensen, who is free after posting bond and has remarried, was disconnected last week. Albee said Jensen wasn't giving interviews.

Special prosecutor Robert Jambois also wouldn't comment on the case, which relies heavily on Julie Jensen's words.

The state Supreme Court could decide by June if any of the statements can be included in the trial, which has been postponed because of the appeals.

It is a delay that has increasingly frustrated Julie Jensen's family. "It's past the point of being ridiculous," said Paul Griffin. "It's just hard to believe it's taken so long."




I guess it just goes to show that things could always be worse. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

t&l

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Wisconsin, eh? Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Neak or t&l,

I've been lurking for a long while.... haven't even helped keep this thread on the first page, but I'm sure you guys will forgive me, right?

I have a favor to ask of you: could you send me a copy of Neak's book? I've met an 87 yr old lady and we obviously have very few possibilities of getting books in english on religious subjects. So I remembered Neak's book and knowing how well she writes I'm sure this lady would love it.

Thanks (even if you can't send me the book)

Sure hon, even if you've been slacking, lol.

Since it's probably buried oodles deep by now, my email address is [email]you_neak@yahoo.com.[/email]

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Thanks for complimenting my baby.

Got my own semi-hellish story tonight.

I have this 18 year old heat pump that has been rebuilt once. Guess a new system would set me back $3K. The old one is totally dead tonight.

It's over 80 degrees in the house.

x is electrical engineer. We are on good terms right now. Gonna let him have a look at it. Please pray it turns out to be manageable. I can't afford new one.

Think I found a rescue group that will take dog. Will have to drive 2 hrs, one way, to take him. Will offer them a donation. Like I can afford it.

Hugs and prayers for Cinderella and the heater.

Do you think it would be cheaper to just ship the dog? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Prob'ly not, but with gas this high you never know.

The teacher meeting went really well. Mom, she was blown away by Damon's handwriting. Why, she could even read it!

It's still shocking to get that occasional call from their teacher, when a cheerful voice says, "Hi, this is Gargamel." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

SS, I think you're right that I need to get a hobby. Home school certainly counts as a distraction, but probably would not qualify for most definitions of hobby. Neither would housecleaning. MB is what I do for fun. Well, sometimes I watch TV while I fold clothes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I think I need to get out more, lol.

Neak,
It's not so much the hobby, as it is the time to think. Some call it meditation.
It's processing stuff.
As I said, I do it hoeing weeds in the garden.
My W does it walking, and or folding clothes, but she chooses times to fold when the twins are not there. She could be directing them in their chores, or piano practice, but she uses it as quiet time for HER instead.

I laughed when you said you watch TV while folding. She uses TV as a relaxation tool too -
However time to think is different than time to relax. You may have noticed that Jesus often took time to him self and let the disciples go on ahead. It wasn't because he was selfish. Of course he prayed also, but it really helps to think about things first, before you pray. My own feeling is that alone time is necessarry for us to be emotionally healthy. Not hours a day, but small amounts of time two or three times a week.

If you already have a way, that's fine, and if you don't want to, that's fine, but I think it helps.

I like MB because it gives me things to think about when I get the time to ponder.

I think I need to get our more.

You seem to do well for all you have to do. Better than most in my opinion. I don't recommend much to you because you don't need it much.

If this will be helpful, God knows all about it. As you think about it, It will come to you how to fit it in. Then all you have to do it change everything around to do the fiting. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


At lest you know how to laugh. I hope you have enough laughter in your life.

SS

Cinderella,
I hope the heat pump/air conditioner is repairable for cheap. If it's major, replacing it would be better if it's that old.

It's hard to relax when it's that hot. I don't know how they did it 100 years ago.

Are you OK?

SS

Hi T&L.
I sincerely mean that too.

Don't forget to go home and go to bed before you fall alseep after work.

SS