H is having affair now. She works for him,<BR>has been going on for at least two years.<BR>He tells me the affair was over one year ago<BR>which is a lie and I told him that. He never came out and said I was right, but he knows I mean business. I told him she gets fired<BR>soon (apparently she can't leave immediately<BR>because she has standing appointments). If he doesn't fire her I will do it myself (it's a small business and half of it is mine, so I can do it). The problem is that after she goes they will be meeting on their day off<BR>(both off on Mondays, while I am at work)...will it be time to get a detective at that time and get the proof he wants me to get ? I never thought I could hurt so much from his constant lies, he is a chronic liar<BR>and will never tell the truth, completely<BR>untrustworthy. Help, how can I live with him day after day knowing he is lying to me. I think I am going crazy. All this after 19 years of marriage and two kids. This is the thanks I get. Help me !!!!!

sadforever: first change your name , it may help you feel better about yourself. 2. 1/2 of the bus is yours, SOOOOO, tell H, shes gone, history, fired! now. if not you will go to atty. on monday and take your portion of the business and file all sorts of legal injunctions on him , i.e., unable to function. on and on. call the bank tell your banker what to expect (business acct).3. call a counselor and make appt for you and the kids and then you and him. invite the OW to come along to since she is aprt of your life now. call the family doctor and make appt for STD and tell the OW you think you have an infection, this will probably stop her from playing "touch the pee pee" with your H for a while. do what you have to and see whathis response is. in the meantime, ill keep you in my prayers.

Toolbox, thank you for all your suggestions, I only wish it was that easy. My husband called my 16 y.o. and my 13 y.o. son into the room one night, after one of our fierce fights, is forcing them to believe that he is telling the truth (but we all know what he is), I told my daughter that I can no longer live with a liar and want to get my own<BR>apartment and then take it from there, she ran away to the park and we had to go find her. She tells me she will run away again and that she wants her parents together. My son was less emotional (he is a guy, after all). My husband is lucky because his daughter is keeping me where I am, but, that doesn't mean that I won't walk away when both of my kids are more mature and can handle it, or it doesn't mean that I can't give him a taste of his own medicine. After all, affairs are created, there are opportunities everywhere, I really would like to have him start to wonder about me. I feel dead, emotionally, but this crisis has made me lose 20 pounds and I have never looked this good, really not to throw away. Maybe I will have the last laugh. What does everyone think about this plan?

sad, I am so sorry for what your going through. Your daughter is in a selfish stage of her life. All kids are, at that age. Have you thought about seeing a counselor by yourself, then with the kids? Maybe by wording things differently, your daughter will be more sympathetic? Kids are selfish, but if she can really see what is going on while your in a calm, rational state of mind, I bet she'll see things differently. Kids are selfish, but they love their parents, and want them happy. She's old enough to understand a lot. She's also old enough to understand that this is not about her, or her fault in any way. A good counselor is worth every penny! Be comfortable with the one you pick to help you work things out. If you don't feel comfortable with the first one, pick someone else. Your happiness, and those of your children's could depend on it. Keep your chin up, and know your not alone. We've all been there to some degree. Believe me, I know what your going through.<BR>Be good to yourself,<BR>Briana

You need to be real careful about firing her just for having an affair with your H. Unless you've got it in writing in some kind of policy statement, you could end up with a sexual harrassment suit on your hands. I know you want her out of there and I can understand that, but you may not have grounds to fire her for the affair. <P>Delph