Thanks, AW. I admit I am not the best housekeeper anymore. I can't because it is too much of an uphill battle. My WH is a slob and packrat, besides my kids deserve more of me than I could give if my house was spotless. I took the "if you can't beat 'em join 'em" attitude a couple years ago.

I AM a very good mom, though <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks, SLH your post brought tears to my eyes.

For future reference:

"Thanks for helping out."

Stop the tenson ... and then

LET IT GO

Don't allow his mood to infect yours.

Practice self control (as opposed to other control) in those circumstances.

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I did thank him after I decided I needed to not actively participate in this sh*t yet again. I also acknowledged that we do indeed do things differently and that is OK. I long ago stopped wanting everyone to do things MY way, any way was ok with me, KWIM?

Keep at me Pep, I am starting to get it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Self control...yup one of the fruits of the spirit that I wrestle with. I will keep on working on it.

Thanks!

FF
I just want to remind you that you are not alone in raising your kiddos. I believe that part of what I went through with my H was to bring me into a closer relationship with the Lord. I used to think my H could fulfill all my needs however I was very mistaken. I have since learned that only the Lord can fullfil me. And whenever I feel extreme pain cause of the choice my h has made I ask the Lord to hold me and to help me and you know what I can feel His presence with me and I am comforted. It is still hard and still hurts but there is a peace I feel now. My prayers for you and your kids.

bjs, Thanks for the reminder. I am working to rely more on Him and move closer rather than further away to Him. I appreciate the prayers.

It is hard sometimes to do. I find that when I am moving away I don't feel as much peace and it takes a couple duh moments on my part to go oh yea.

During times I have had things come up with my h and not sure on what to do, I have only suspected an affair never had proof. I have prayed and there have been days I have been at the very end of it and I have told God that I just could not do it anymore. Well both my h and i have love eagles. And one day while driving right after I had this conversation with God an Eagle came flying alongside my car. I am not making this up I even had a friend in the car with me. Since then there have been several times when I have just wanted to give up on things and I have seen an Eagle. One of my favorite versus is

Isaiah 40-31
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint

FAithful there is no way the house is 'spotless' ..lol its clean mostly but I've given up long ago trying to follow this gang around & clean up.

I always thought if someone doesn't like it dont come over..lol hey this is a working family not a museum!!! Of course the mum guilt thing still pops up ..sigh

I think you have it right ... a fair balance between living and maintaining ...you get my vote ...hehhhe of course if he'd LIKE to do more to help I'd buy him his own cleaning gear ....lol oh and thank him profusely ... Stop that AW youre being bad..

On second thoughts just let it go through the net and thank him for his help, a nice big cuddle if hes willing.

I love the story about the eagle. The times I know God is with me I feel the wind gently tickle my face. It even happened once when I was praying in a small chapel and there was no outside air! Tonight will be good for my spirit, I am preparing our women's bible fellowship for tomorrow morning. That and teaching Sunday school always forces me into His word. Oh and I am trying to read 1John every day for a month. I heard a radio program challenging the listener to do so and see the changes in them. If I could only stay awake <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

FF ... if your H had a choice between a clean house everyday and some nookie every day .... which do you reckon he would choose?

I'm just saying.... maybe we should start a new thread and take a poll .... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Obvious answer, Pep! The clean house <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />j/k

Pep
I may just pose that question to my h.

Faithfull
Isn't it wonderful the different ways we are shown HE is with us. Keep holding on, Keep believing.

I want to Thank you for your many posts. They are very encouraging especially when you post to others. Sometimes God uses are difficult situations for us to reach out to others you are definitely doing that.

If your H had a choice between a clean house everyday and some nookie every day .... which do you reckon he would choose?

I love this one. My dear H has only TO say the word (or get the glint in his eye, whatever) and Nookie is his. Daily, twice a day, whatever. But for now, all he is getting -- er, wanting -- is the clean house (okay, mostly clean, most days), LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> Maybe he's just too tired!

*sigh*

No wonder I'm driven to the Ice Cream carton! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


~ StillLovingHim

Faith,

For some reason, I checked in yesterday and saw this thread. I just wanted to say that bjs post of Isaiah 40:31 spoke to me. I needed that. Thanks.

Sorry, I don't have any advice for you, but you are in my prayers.

{{{{{Faithful}}}}}

RH, lovely to see you post! Thanks for the hugs. I led my women's bible fellowship this morning which was about prayer and meditation. It was quite uplifting and certainly lightened my load this morning. During our discussion I mentioned that I am going through a tough time and these wonderful ladies got up and put their hands on me and prayed a powerful prayer. No questions about WHAT I am struggling with, just pure love and prayer. Oh the tears flowed down my cheeks.

Last night I slept with DD because she was scared of something. About 4am I woke up and climbed into bed with WH. He turned over and put his arms around me and went back to sleep. That felt so good. He came home early from work today and took DD to play ball and get a smoothie <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
I am proud of him trying to become the father she has needed him to be, even if he can't be my H. I still hope God has a miracle in store for me, but I do get stronger every day either way.

FF,

I know this feeling of laying on hands and praying. When I found out my ex-fiance was married and I kind of had a little breakdown I joined this intensive therapy workshop. It was not bible study but the counselor was a Christian minister and I think that those group sessions were the only thing that saved me.

There is no greater strength you gain, I don't think than that feeling of uncondional love when that sort of thing happens in a group.

Glad you had that experience today! And it's good to believe in miracles and to hope for them FF. As long as you are doing what you need to do in the meantime, which I know you are.

Thanks, Weaver. You know I am <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Life in our house is strangely normal lately. Yet, we have our final appt with the attorney this week. This will be to submit the financial paperwork and then from there it is just signing docs and waiting for the D to go through <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

WH has been thoughtful and a much better father lately. He got up early Sat. and made me coffee. He played baseball with DD on Sat. afternoon. I make sure to notice these things and thank him. Very surreal how calm and loving our home is lately. I do not believe he is in C anymore. I think he went through some withdrawl, he seemed to be very physically attached to this last OW. We have had a great deal of SF lately. Maybe not so wise if I am supposed to try to detach but it calms me. No LBs, DJ or angry outbursts from me lately and I am feeling much stronger. I am standing back and letting God run this show. I do believe He is much more qualified than I. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Awww - that is a great update FF.

Standing back and letting God run the show is the best you can do. Once you truly submit to God, he gives you a sense of peace and calm. Only he knows the outcome, and trusting in Him will let you be okay no matter what.

-ds