I will not refer to you again in a post.

I plan to not communicate with you again.

You have no right to be sarcastic with me or to attack me. I am on this site trying to help people.

Your communication skills are poor in my opinion and I do not wish to ever communicate with you again.

You intruded on a post between CC and I. She shared information with me that she did not share with you.

I will not allow myself to be attacked by you.

Then after you attack you say you are going away. Stop attacking people period.

If you do not agree with the MB approach, why are you here?
Don't answer me. I don't really care why you are here.

BTW, I just read some more of your post. If I am one of the "certain" people that you are referring to, I want to make it clear that I certainly am not "intimidated" by you. Why are lifting yourself to that level? You, too, are making a lot of assumptions.

Have you considered what MY PROFESSION MAY BE? Not that it should matter....

?????

Uh.....OK, Mimi. I think you are really blowing this WAY OUT OF PROPORTION...BUT I will do as you say and gladly NEVER respond to any of your posts or address you again if that is what you want.

I agree, my communication skills are poor and I am trying to improve them by coming here. Perhaps I still have a long way to go. I admit I do struggle and do not have the best command of the written word. For that I will say sorry. I am sorry that you feel the way that you do, but that is your right. A-ok.

LM

LM.

THE PROBLEM IS THAT I DISLIKE SARCASM

It's a major LBer for me.

I'm bad about forgiveness, though. I'm already responding back to you but I do feel it's best for us to limit our communications as I can't handle your hostility.

Mimi, I went and read the post where you "called" LM out, in this could-be-construed-as-not-so-nice-way, and am baffled as to where this thread is coming from.

And, is LM responsible for what you consider to be an LB? This is a forum for the exchange of principles, of ideas, a place to help people.

So, if we don't all agree with you, or your interpretation of the MB principles, are we not to post to you? Or on threads you post on? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Spidey

Hey, MIMI, no problem....I am not that "hostile", but clearly my lack of communication skills is something that rubs you the "wrong way", and it brings out "anger" in you. It may be best that we don't communicate, but for the record, this is your CHOICE, and I will abide by your wishes. It is A-ok with me. I do not want you to feel "attacked", but I cannot tell you how to feel about my posts, so this may be the best solution.

Cheers,

LM

?????

Each of us are different.

Different skills, feelings, reactions, views and opinions.

We don't ALL have to share the same opnions to get along.

I don't believe that LM is hostile at all. He just gets worked up when he sees people putting up with more crap than they really should. I do the same thing.

I also don't think that LM lacks communication skills. I think he says what he thinks...and means it. Can't please ALL of the people ALL of the time.

Not to be completely rude.....but this struck me.


LM is NOT your H.

Mimi,

You may be interested and/or surprised to learn that I have already decided to limit my conversations with you ...

Why?

I learned you cannot take my joking and sillyness ... It's part of the package of who I am, and since I "wounded" you with a stupid April fools joke ... I realized I cannot be myself entirely with you ... and that's OK with me ... there are limits to everyone and I accept that ... So with you Mimi, I purposely will limit myself to the most bland dialogue possible ... which dilutes my personality but I do this at your request.

This is a non-conflict avoidance self-revealing point here ... I saw a problem, and this is my solution. A solution that works for both of us. I will guard myself a bit when replying to you, at your request. You get watered-down Pep ... at your request.

This is not sarcasm, but honest open communication.

Pep

I'm beginning to think I don't belong here. I still take this stuff to serious.

I'm sorry that you have to give the watered-down PEP. That makes me sad.

It's what you asked for.

Pep

***So, if we don't all agree with you, or your interpretation of the MB principles, are we not to post to you? Or on threads you post on?***

Mimi, you also snapped at me once the same way you snapped at Lemonman. You told me that YOU were posting to someone else and *I* had intruded on YOUR conversation.

This is not "Mimi's Private Message Board." This is the MB Open Forum. The threads are open to all who want to participate. If you want a private conversation, then take it off-board.

You are not the only one struggling with PTSD here.

You are not the only one *here*, period.

We are trying to help each other.

Opinions are going to differ. That's the point of having an open forum.

Your ordering people off of "your" threads is not helping anyone.
Mulan

I don't like what I feel is meanness. That's what I felt in your response so therefore I may leave the forum.

How you put that to me felt mean and makes me want to cry and I don't need this.

I never said that I thought that it was MY BOARD and I never said I had a problem with anyone disagreeing with me.

I'm sorry if you thought that MULAN.

I just don't like the use of sarcasm or meanness to communicate your differences with me. I don't feel like that is necessary. Maybe it's a part of life.

It's a part of life that I'm running from right now....

I don't think you take it too seriously, I think you take it way too personally. There is a difference.

Sarcasm...if you do not like it, why not just make like a duck "quack, quack... let it roll off your back?"

Mimi, how do you learn and grow and function in daily life if you don't communicate with people that say things other than the way you want to hear them?

Susan

Susan:

There were personal attacks made on ME. Well, not on ME but on MIMI.

If people communicate in a way that I think is mean and hateful, I tell them that I don't like it which is what I did here.

Thanks for your response, Susan.

Have you double checked this perception to see if this is correct?

Pep

I;m copying my post here, it is also in the To Pep thread.


Hey Mimi,

Here is a thought i wanted to share with you. Please know, I type this with the sincere intent to help you.

I have found that a person, (any person, not just you) can read the same words and "hear" something different based on how they are doing at the time of the reading. I have found for myself personally, it that while i read here, i choose to "listen" with assumption that everything written here is meant to be constructive, it really helps. so when i read words, i do not add any inflection (especially negative) to the words, i look for any constructive msg that i can find. it's not always easy, trust me, i know its not always easy. however, there is something very important that can be learned here...

i also find that if i do feel the strong urge to call someone out about something they post, i focus on first why the words they wrote have impacted me as they did and then when i write about it, i try to make it as clear as possible that i am truely seeking understanding.

it's not always easy, sometimes i will have a knee jerk reaction and be bothered by something i read. since this is not a face to face thing, i can choose at that time to simply close the window and take some time before responding. it is during that time that i try to understand what in me made that particular post negatively impact me.

i have found that i have learned a lot about understanding and subsequently owning ones own reaction to stimulus. and this is a really empowering thing to learn. because it has given me the ability to have more control over how i am doing internally.

i hope this all made sense and might be helpful to you.

Karen

This is a seriously fantastic skill Karen !

wow ... you've come a long way baby !

Pep

This also means that everything is not about YOU. It may be the other persons issue/problem.

And, ain't that just a great big relief?

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

thanks pep, but i find tears coming as i read this instead of a smile. i screwed up my life (and therefore my H's life) so much pep! yes, it good to learn later instead of never. except to say that if i had never learned it, i wouldn't have this pain as i look at the damage done for learning so late (ok, that was actually meant to be somewhat of a joke).

i better stop here before i completely hi-jack this thread.

Unfortunately,
That approach doesn't always equate in everyone's Interpersonal tool bag.

Hey, its already been pointed out that we've got a Wide assortment of personalities here on MBers.

Perhaps, Mimi's just one of the More Sensitive types.
Not a crime.

And perhaps she's Not handled this in the manner others would.
But again, guess that is just her style.

Honesty, I personally enjoy sour dude's posts.
But then again, they've never really been Directed at me either (as most times we are on the same side of an issue).

Truthfully though, he is very blunt, very "in your face" and can be quite sarcastic in his approach.
Also not a crime.

But his Tough Love message is NOT embraced by all.

For good or bad:
Perception is a person's reality.
One's Honest advice, may be "attacking" to another.

Simply a fact on a board like this.

In any case,
mimi:
I do respect your decision to at least Attempt to deal with another poster you've had issue with, on its own thread and NOT TJ someone else's.

In addition, I concur that its better to just Agree to ignore one another THEN to go round and round and round on Thread after thread, trying to "correct" the other.

Don't feel you have to leave though.

But if you do, make sure its YOUR choice and not made For you By others reaction to you.

I want to run away but I will try to somehat DUKE this out as PEP has suggested. There does seem to be some miscommunication going on.

Spider said:



Let me try to clear some of this up according to my POV. I was having sort of a personal conversation with CC. She had E-Mailed ME directly about certain matters and I was responding specifically to her E-Mail. There was info. in that information that only she and I knew about and we were discussing that E-Mail.

LM DID make sarcastic references to me and what I said to CC. To me, it is preferable to speak to me directly about a complaint or criticism. I'm not good at getting innuendoes and you know how I feel about sarcasm. Just like you questioned me above, Spider. I feel comfortable with that.

TOP HAT is correct. I am sensitive. Always have been sensitive. My M called me "A BUCKET OF WATER" . So you would know that I would be even more sensitive now.

I don't mean to give the impression that I feel uncomfortable with folks disagreeing with me. However, if I GET THE IMPRESSION that someone is being hostile or mean towards me or someone else for no good reason, it will make me angry. LM, gives me that impression. Certainly, I may be wrong about him since this is a forum and it is sometimes hard to clearly communicate.

I need to apologize to him for making reference to him to CC. However, again, this was a communication between the two of us that has been ongoing. She has said that she is "like LM" and I was making reference to her description of herself this way to me.