Been married for 12 years, 3 children, all under age 10. There's been no affair, at least not physically. She does have a close male friend at work. She's open and honest about talking to him on the phone and they don't have any contact outside of work other than on the phone. She told me two months ago that she doesn't have feelings for me anymore, said she just felt "numb". We went to marital counseling. Counseler released us after 3 sessions saying that we both knew what we needed to do and that it was just up to us to do it so we really didn't need him anymore. He said that I needed to back off a bit and not pressure her and that we needed to start rebuilding our friendship first and let her sort out things in her own mind. He said that she is confused and she says the same thing.

I neglected our relationship a lot but now I'm committed to be the kind of husband that I should have been all along. We're still living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed but physical contact is almost nil. She does occaisionally let me rub her back, neck ,and shoulders once in a while.

How can I effectively come up with a Plan A under these circumstances? I trust she's being honest about the male friend and I've even talked to him myself.

I'm new to this but I can tell you what i'd do if I were in the same situation, hope it helps. If you have been to counseling has your wife told you what her needs are? If so, even if she doesn't respond right away, start doing your best to meet them as much as she'll let you. The way I see it she'll either start to come around or she'll get uncomfortable and leave. I know thats not what you want but either way you'll know where you stand.
If she does move out keep doing it as best you can. I know from experience that it's not easy when they're not there. If it helps, my husband moved out 6 months ago to live with the OW. We've never stopped talking and we are closer now than we've been in several years. He hasn't come home yet but things get better every day. I don't know if my advice helps or not but it's a place for you to start. Good Luck!!!

FHL

Pln A is a tactic for stoping an affair. Your Wifesounds as though shes n an EA with this guy from work and she sure is talking fog-ese but plan A is only approrpiate if she is in an affair.

If not you should read his needs/ ner needs and get MC.

its a blessing indeed if you get the opportunity to rebuild your M without suffering the devastation of infidelity.

I think you need to find out for sure that no affair is actve.

All blessings.