Hi there -
My H and I have been married for 10 mths and we seem to have one reoccurring argument which revolves around him wanting to play golf. He feels that he played golf every weekend before we met and if he cuts it down to 3x/mth that is a huge compromise. I feel a compromise from 4x to 2x/mth is fair. He keeps telling me that this is his ONLY outlet and something he needs for his sanity. I am scared to have children with him knowing he is unwilling to sacrifice his "golf time" for the sake of more family time.
We have gone in circles over this issue and I feel as if he would rather wake up Sat/Sun morning EARLY and leave me for another 8 hours just to come home exhausted. It's not the golf it's the time it takes away from our quality time as being newly married.
Am I being selfish? Please help <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Are you being selfish? Sure. It's something you want, so by definition, selfish. The question should be, is it an unreasonable request? Maybe not, but your H doesn't see it that way, and so really, it doesn't matter. But on the other hand, if it's as he says, his only outlet, then you and he may not agree.

What about fewer holes? Play 9 instead of 18. Or compromise on if he's taking a full day way from you doing what he wants, then he needs to spend a full day with you doing what you want.

I would encourage you to read the Basic Concepts link up at the top which talks about the fundamentel precepts that Marriage Builders is built on. There is much good info there that will answer a lot of questions. Specifically look at POJA, the Lovebank, LB's, etc.

You might find that the "how you go in circles" about the issue (in other words, how you argue/fight/discuss it), is causing him to really dig his heels in and not give in because he sees it as his last bastion of single-ness, or maybe he's doing it out of spite. Who knows.

But I suspect that it's not "golf" in and of itself that's the issue.

I do not think you are being selfish at all. You are just telling him how much time you want with him. Your time request does not sound at all unreasonable to me. He needs to see that he is lucky. My wife will not give me the time of day let alone an entire weekend. He needs to wake up and realize he is married and this means that some things will not be what he wants. I would give almost anything for a wife that would give me a weekend alone more than just once a year! I hope that helped you sorry for the ranting!