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OK, I know I'm just full of questions. But I find that the best way to conquer fears is to learn as much as you can about the cause of those fears... I mentioned on another thread that a guy I'm interested in likes car shows and swap meets and such... Those are things that I'd be interested in sharing with him (or anybody I was friends with, even) - but they seem to me to be pretty clearly "guy activities", i.e., activities that you join your buddies in. Am I wrong about this? Would it be acceptable or appropriate to say to him "Hey, there's a car show at such-and-such this weekend - would you like to go with me?" My XH and I shared many activities that were not necessarily the favorites of many women. I got my love of drag-racing (driving AND watching, LOL!) from him, and a renewed interest in fishing when we were together as well. I like motorcycling (mostly as a passenger - I haven't been able to afford to buy my own bike) - I enjoy sharing "guy" type activities with men I enjoy being with ... like watching most sports - have even been known to watch a few football games (most women I know cannot stand football). So... what do you all think about a woman having the audacity to want to share "guy activities" because she enjoys them? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> T
terri
Courage
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
which tempt you to believe that your
critics are right.
To map out a course of action
and follow it to an end
requires courage.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Terri,
You like that stuff then do it! And yes, invite him to go to a car show.
If you like it then excellent!
There is a big difference between going to BE with somebody and going because you both want to do it together.
As a guy it is a drag for someone tagging along just because I want to go, but it is awesome if they would have wanted to go whether I did or not.
Make sense?
Tagging along versus enjoying an activity together?
I don't care what the activity is (guy thing/girl thing) if you are doing it together because you enjoy it, then it is a good thing, a very good thing.
RebornMan
"Who are you" said the Caterpillar
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.
Alice replied, rather shyly, "I--I hardly know, sir, just at present...At least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."
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terri, you are obviously a dangerous, knee-jerk, feminist! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
I see no reason to not let him know you enjoy these things. What is important is that you be yourself. I think most men like it very much when a woman enjoys something that he enjoys.
However, be aware that there may be times he will want to attend these events with only the guys so he can let loose a bit, just like you women do things with the 'girls' at times.
Just another guy exploring middle age.
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I don't know whether this is relevant, but most of the activities I prefer to engage in are female-dominated. I have never been made to feel as if I were intruding.
Of course, that may have more to do with my obliviousness than anything else...
Profile: male in mid forties
History: deserted after 10+ years of marriage, and divorced; no communication since the summer of 2000
Status: new marriage October 2008
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Terri: You like drag racing, fishing and motorcycles - send me your phone number!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> LOL. Seriously - I always desired for my wife to be a big part of my life and never got into the "guys night, guy's time" process. There was too much carousing during "guy's nights" and since I was married (committed to wife), I simply had no desire to even talk about that stuff. Too bad that my ex was not into those events. It could've been fun. So my answer is - YES; ask him. He may be pleasantly surprised at your interest. There are many very good family relationships at the races. (My company is in that industry!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Good Luck FR
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It’s just a matter of how you look at them. The purpose of life is to live it, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience
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OOOOH...I like this new forum A LOT.
I drag race too!
(liking boy-activities is a good place to meet boys...)
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Stop... 2 racing women on one thread! This must be heaven!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> FR
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It’s just a matter of how you look at them. The purpose of life is to live it, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience
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Hey Terri -- you said racing was something you did with your ex -- do you still do it on your own, or did he get "custody" of the track? lol
I've had a lifelong love of racing -- I was a little track rat with my dad. Driving is something I started post-divorce. It was always a dream of mine that I but on the back burner.
Hey FR -- you said your company is in the industry. COOL. I'd love to know more!
I'm hoping to run my car in Stock Eliminator next year, and hit some (or all) of the divisional races next year. This years goal is to make it to the ET Finals. So far so good -- I ran two classes last weekend and made it to the finals in one, and semi's in the other.
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Drop a note to me at: jmpersonal@prodigy.net and I will fill you in. FR
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It’s just a matter of how you look at them. The purpose of life is to live it, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience
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Hi, Lexxxy, I was mostly a spectator and only drove a couple of times during days when the dragstrip allowed open racing ... I really liked it and would have loved to do more. My ex had talked about us getting a serious car, but we didn't have the money, so it never happened. Unfortunately, I haven't had the opportunity to go back to the dragstrip for the past few years since he left... partly due to memories, and partly because I had no one to go with! But I really do like to drive fast. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Good luck on your goals for the season.
terri
Courage
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
which tempt you to believe that your
critics are right.
To map out a course of action
and follow it to an end
requires courage.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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If he enjoys them, a real GENTLEMAN would be happy to go with you to these types of functions (I know I would love to have my "lady" WANT go to a gun show with me.) There may be sometimes when he'll want to go with the "fellas", which is fine also.
I can relate to a certain extent. My WW like craft stores..sometimes I go, but if she goes with one of her friends, I don't go.
WW has been to gun shows with me before, but if I was going with my brother or some of the "guys", I would find a nice way to ask to find something else to do. Most women would know and gwouldn't even want to go if I was going with one of my buddies.
WNB
43yr old FWH who has rediscovered morality
Divorced: 03 February 2006
XW: My threads say it all
"Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life..."
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