My STBX seems so happy to be rid of me. H is the one that had the A when I was 6 months pregnant. OW was the love of his life. When that fell apart because the new GF told him how stupid he was being, he pretended to try to save our M. All the while his "friend" was after him and is now the GF that is the one for him.
Amazing I was once the one, then it was OW, now it is GF. He can be so rude to me. He wants me out of his life. I mean nothing to him. ECT, ECT. I'm sure you all of heard the same thing. He is taking the new GF out all the time. He was always too tired to do anything with me. They are doing all of these fun things. H takes our DD around her and they do "the family" things (She is 22, got preg in college, the boss's daughter)What is he thinking with???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

So why do I blame myself for the M failing? Why am I so unhappy with where I am in life? H is a cheater, with no morals. I know I deserve better out of life. So why do I still care?

I am so afraid that maybe it is me. How can these women be better than me? What is wrong with me? Why couldn't he be happy here? I want their relationship to fail.

Do WS ever wake up and realize how much they gave up to be free? Will my STBX ever look at me and wonder if he made a mistake? Or will it always be that I was a b!!!! and we just couldn't get along?

Hi {{MEWF}},

Good gracious, what you have been through is NOT because of you ok? You must know that already.When a person decides to cheat,it is almost never,IMO,because of one particular thing but many that the WS is undergoing and needs to address.

You cannot blame yourself for your M failing any more than I can either because if you are like me and most of us here,we have bent over backwards trying to save it all to no avail.These other women are not better than you and you must know that too.They are declasse opportunists who are using and being used.A sick merry-go-round of selfishness that frankly,I am SO grateful not to be around any longer.

I stopped wondering about my WH and his feelings many months ago.He is not worth it anymore because I do understand what sick thoughts and desires are running around his head and the farther away I am from that funhouse of pain the better I am and the better my 2 DD's are as well.I really could not care less how my STBXWH's life turns out now.That is his own journey.

Many of us BS's will always care somewhat and some will not.In a way,I do still feel saddened that things went so horribly wrong and that my WH never gave us a chance to make things better for our family but that was his choice.So,MEWF,don't be so hard on yourself and wonder why anymore.It takes a great deal of strength and time to keep going and try to put this all behind you but it cannot be rushed.It will take a lot of time.On average 2 years or more right? And you nor I are actually D'd just yet. Little by little, day by day. We will all get there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

O

The above post is encouraging. I wanted to offer you some encouragement as well.

My WH moved out of OW's apt. a week ago.

(He's been back there since although he doesn't admit he's been staying there. His cars' been there all hours of the am/pm.)

At least I know things are not peachy in paradise you know? And I hope soon that you will too.

It's so easy when we just see the good parts and our WS's feed us all the crap about how great it is with the OP.

But those relationships were founded on mistrust and hopefully all of those are eventually doomed.

He called OW his "safety net". So if he does try to really fully go back we know why.

He did say he still had some feelings for her, but he also asked me if I would consider a "fresh start" once the divorce was final.

Hang in there it'll happen.....