Redhat:

I know. I often wonder if I'd be in another relationship by now if I'd cut this one off after D-day #000000001 (plus a good plan A/B timeframe). I certainly would have appreciated being DV'd before the A started 14 years ago. I could have had another family by now if I'd wanted one. Not 2 replace the one I have, by no means, though. I suppose I still could, but I'm a bit 2 old and jaded 2 want 2 be raising my OWN rugrats at this stage... I like my kids just the way they are - ESPECIALLY as majors!

For the near 2rm, a little healthy soli2de sounds pretty good 2 me.

SS:

Do I sound really good? I feel better than I have in a long time, but I'm not happy the way things are going. Oh well, they're going. Might as well grab my steering wheel and try not 2 carom off the guardrails.

-ol' 2long

AMM:

Ooooh, I like that! ...but wouldn't that be a vindictive thing 2 say?

-ol' 2long

No. It's a true thing to say. The D process is nasty and unpleasant. You are working towards your freedom and probably another M. She shouldn't deceive herself about what's happening. It will save you. And probably undo her.

My guess is that RM will dump his GF, or maybe keep his GF and your W. Or find a new GF in addition to your W. As my father would have said, "She's at the end of her troubles. She just doesn't know which end."

...2 add:

She did threaten suicide this morning, telling me that it was her only alternative 2 having the A 14 years ago, and if I wanted, she could do it now. I don't think I should say anything vengeful, or even remotely so. I don't believe she's suicidal, though.

-ol' 2long

SS:

Do I sound really good? I feel better than I have in a long time, but I'm not happy the way things are going. Oh well, they're going. Might as well grab my steering wheel and try not 2 carom off the guardrails.


You sound more sure, more in charge of your life.

Less afraid.

More likely to induce change. Less likely to allow fence sitting.

Yes, you sound good. Maybe not great, but good.

I think about you a lot, still praying for you.

SS

Just listen...

can you tell when you are being manipulated?

Tell her to go ahead. Call her bluff. It will save you dividing property and legal costs.

I guess I've grown tired of self-indulgent people. Guess why.

Agree with Pep.

SS

I know at least three women in your age ballpark that would think you are the cat's meow - wait - wrong age bracket - they'd think you are cool. So don't worry about that.


Suicide threat: my W has made about three of them since DDay2. One she acted out (pills and booze) but I am still not sure how serious she was. There was no way I con't not notice what she was doing before it went too far.

They were all extreme controlling behaviors. Dangerous behaviors that cannot be ignored but aimed at me. I turned her over to her IC each time.

I think she might really do it if I actually left. This is a guilt factor keeping me here. I acknowledge it.

I’m trapped in more ways than one, I know.

Haven't a clue what to do about it.

She knows very well how to manipulate you.

-rh-

She's been using you like kleenex. Time for her to know she's hit the bottom of the box.

A.M.,
You are sounding pretty good these days too. How's it goin?

And Redhat,
Are you married yet?

SS

I would walk the isle anytime with her <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> ... LOL!. I have to finish my school and she wants to finish up paying her DV'ed debt. By God will ... next Fall. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> . -rh-

Thanks RH, I think about you from time to time, and wonder how you and the girls are. You are a great guy.

SS

Yep.

It's manipulative.

I got another call on my voicemail during lunch (our cafeteria must have a cone of silence over it - I almost never get signal in there).

Something about our joint account not having sufficient funds in it. We need that 2 make the house payment and other bills. The woodworking shop delivered 160ft of chair rail we had custom milled for the house. Plus the kitchen cabinets are being made right now.

I think it's because it's the third check in the month, and so they did none of the normal deductions from it. But if that's the case, the bank account should have more in it, cause my check's automatically deposited.

I'll find out, but not before I go 2 a meeting I'm needed at soon.

-ol' 2long

Most of the cafeterias I have visited at work have this so-called cone of silence. That is why I plan my most devious strategies to take over the world with the power of tamed squirrels in said locations.

Tin foil hats aren't as secure.

Those of you who've been around since the beginning might remember:

One of the "clues" that something was amiss that I should have read just before d-day was my W's reaction 2 a job announcement, in my field, out of state, in a nice mountainy setting. She was angry because I was looking at property values there (at least I told her about it!). After d-day, I wasn't going 2 apply for the job, because it angered her so much that I would consider it. She was the one that encouraged me 2 apply, though. That was March 2002. I was one of 4 interviewed in September. Didn't get offered the job, which started the following spring. At the time, I was thinking that I'd take the job, file for DV or plan B (at the time, I could have taken a year leave from this job, so I could have come back here... ...but that option is no longer available), finish the house (yeah, right! It STILL isn't done!), and move there.

I kid you not. They're advertising the position again. I just got the email about 5 minutes ago. First time there's been an opening in 3 years. I will apply. I will also apply at another facility 2 hrs south of here that's been trying 2 recruit me for the past several years.

Who knows?

-ol' 2long

SS:

I'm doing okay. I believe my status is "legally separated." I was expecting the final D papers in Feb. They never arrived. Or maybe I accidentally threw them out with the junk mail? Don't know. Don't care. I don't need the D -- he's the one that filed. Legal separation protects me, and I'm not interested in remarriage.

still thread jacking -

A.M.,
What about all the guys that would be interrested in you - don't you care about them at all?

And no, I'm not trying to be funny.

SS

AMM:

Yeah, what about SS' question?

-ol' 2long