Hello,

We are proceeding towards D. My H is unwilling to establish NC or do anything else that would help us have a great M. He has a lot of negative influences in his life: friends who are recenlty divorced and "chasing skirts", a therapist who is anti-M, drinking alcohol constantly (sometimes starting at 8am), divorced parents who don't believe in God, etc, etc. I also found out my H slept w/ OW just a few weeks ago. Probably more recently and more often that he is willing to admit. I'm fighting the evil w/ all of my might, but I need all the help I can get. Please pray for our M, my H and me. I am feeling incredibly low and so distant from God - I need strength and I need help - only God can turn this around and I'm hoping that prayers from the people here will help. (I'm thinking of several quotes: Where 2 or more are gathered...if you believe, it shall be given to you, etc) I know that God hates divorce and wants the prodigal son/lost sheep to come home. I pray that he restores my H to Him and my H and restores our M. Thank you!!

Hi Butterscotch,

I will pray. The things you mention as negatives, can all be used by God to reconcile your husband.

Love your husband.

Butterscotch,

"In EVERYTHING give thanks, for this is the will of God, in Christ Jesus, concerning you." Now, please note that God wants us to give thanks to Him in EVERY, SINGLE CIRCUMSTANCE not just the ones that make us happy or rich, etc. He wants us to THANK HIM for the trials and tribulations too, because they purify us. He commands us to give thanks to Him for things that make us sad--things that hurt--things that are hard. Quite simply, it is HIS will. So, in obedience to His will, I will pray a prayer of thanks with you:

"Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, Creator of both butterscotch and her H, Your dearly beloved children. Thank You for loving them so much that You will do whatever is necessary to bring them to You. Thank You for this affair, which is working and rebuilding butterscotch and her H. Thank You for the OW who is also one of your dearly beloved children and someone You love. Thank You for constantly being in butterscotch's life and sending ministering angels to her. Thank You for constantly being in butterscotch's H's life and allowing him to suffer the things he NEEDS to suffer to come to You. Thank You for being in charge of it all even when it seems like You're not paying attention. Thank You for being God and knowing what's best, and not listening to us when we say, 'We have learned patience and want it right now!'. Thank You for being a kind, loving, patient father with us while we are so childish and want our way. Thank You for completely melting us in the flames of trials, to completely remake us into more pure, holy vessels for You. Thank You for doing YOUR will and not ours."



FaithfulNewCJ

butterscotch7 - What would you have us pray? Is your husband a Christian? On the surface, from what you've descrived, it doesn't sound like he is. If is is not, should we pray that you be shackled with an unbeliever who will walk all over you anytime he feels like it?

No, I'd rather pray for you that YOU will be comforted by the presence of God in YOUR life REGARDLESS of what is going on around you.

But I won't say more until I know if your husband is a Christian or not. If not, then God's "answer" to you is "let him go." YOU are more precious to God than your marriage and if you have been unevenly yoked, "things of God" will be meaningless to your husband.

I would pray that God uses this time of trouble to reach your husband's heart and open it to His call.

God bless and comfort you and walk with you through all of your difficult times.

Shul, Faithful and Forever - thank you for your prayers.

Forever - I will try to respond to your questions.

What would you have us pray? Well, that God reconciles my H to Him and reconciles us as H &W based on his commands (What, therefore, God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. --Matt. 19:6, I think), that God shields us from Evil and strengthens us to fight temptation, that God lift me up in my time of need and comfort when it seems dark, that God resurrect our M like he did Lazarus, that he bring my H home like the prodigal son, that he turn my H's heart like Saul's heart was turned to Paul's heart, that he heal my deep hurt and pain, that he help me focus on him and not the storm that surrounds me - I could go on & on - I feel like I'm in a battle with Evil for my H's soul, and each time I make progress, Evil tries to come back even stronger, and I know God is stronger and cannot lose, so I pray that he helps me.

Is your husband a Christian? This is a difficult question to answer. He used to have faith, but I do not understand how someone can be a Christian and have an A or treat their spouse the way he has treated me. I'm at a loss to understand this, even though I know we are all sinners, I just can't get my mind around it. It is one of the 10 commandments and there is not "gray" area. It would be as if someone thought murder was ok, and then they kept killing someone over & over again. I just don't understand. One time, when I was making cookies for H and asked if he wanted one, he just screamed out of the blue -- "I'm going to hell, ok? And I don't care!" At the time, I thought he was saying that he no longer shares my beliefs and I can't remember exactly why I interpreted it that way. I will say that my LBank is empty and I don't feel much anymore except intense pain and sorrow, but sometimes I think it is mostly pain/sorrow when I think about who he has become and what will happen to him if he doesn't turn back, as opposed to personal pain from loss of a love. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

If is is not, should we pray that you be shackled with an unbeliever who will walk all over you anytime he feels like it? Well, he does walk all over me, and no, I would not want to be shackled with an unbeliever, but I just don't know what he believes anymore. God joined us together when I thought he had faith, so I don't know what God would say...what if the prodigal son never comes home?

Please let me know if you have any other questions. Sorry if I mistated anything, I'm not as educated on biblical things as I want to be.

Thank you

Butterscotch7 - Make NO apologies for "level of education," we are ALL "in school" through the process of Sanctification. Some of us may be in different "grades" along the way, and some may "catch on" quicker than others, but NONE of is "holier than thou" at any time. What we are is ... forgiven sinners. None of "graduates" from "school of sanctification" until we die and are reunited with the Lord.

I am really short on time right now, but I wanted you to know that I read your post and I'll make a point of responding later when I have a little more time to address your points and concerns.

God bless.