Mine and WW's 9th anniversary is coming up on 6/1. She is still steaming headlong down the D train tracks. I met with my atty yesterday and received different elements to be answered for discovery and such. He has handled this whole thing with kid gloves to see if WW might seek reconciliation. At this time it seems she is not going to. I am still in NC, except through intermediary and only to notify her of mail needing to be picked up.
My attorney thinks it is time to slap her with a big dose of reality as she has yet to accept my proposal for settlement (not favorable at all for her)and we now have a court date set for the second week of July. He plans on notifying her atty that we will take depositions from OM, the president of WW and OM's company, their direct supervisors, and anyone else that has knowledge of the case. My atty will also notify her atty that we intend to file a lawsuit against OM for intentional infliction of emotional distress, interference with a marital relationship, and conspiring to prevent a just division of community property (her atty is also OM's atty), and the company for aiding and abetting their A. My atty thinks this will cause then to ask for settlement to avoid depositions and workplace exposure. The company will have to fire them in order to not be in the position of condoning their behavior. Nasty, nasty business. But we feel like we have given them every opportunity to avoid this mess, from reconciliation to acceptance of the proposed settlement. This should be evidence alone that WW is not in her right mind.
I am thinking though of one last ditch effort though. I have maintained no contact as I have received no evidence that the A is not still in full bloom. I am wondering if it might be worth it to send her an anniversary card. Nothing to sappy and without much commentary. Just a simple card. I havent even looked to see if there might be one that is even remotely appropriate, but if there is, should I send one as a last ditch, last anniversary card?
I wonder how it might be received?



"the wheels are turning on the last train to Amsterdam"
Ray Wylie Hubbard

If you're up for a bit of humor, check out Binder's thread and first post about finding the "right" card...

I like the card idea with a simple reiteration of your Plan B...maybe a blank card with something in it like...

"I love you and care about you, would like to work on our M but there is no room for OM in our M. Call me when you're ready."

I vote no card ....

sorry ....

but, if you really want to do something a bit provocative and mysteriously agreeable ... send her an anonymous bouquet on your anniversary... no card, just the flowers

THAT may have more impact than anything else

Pep<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Pepper,
I like the way you think. I had thought about that and had kind of shoved it to the back of my mind. The more I think about it, it's perfect. No card, no note. She will know exactly where it came from because of the date.
Now, lets talk about the flowers. I always sent her a dozen red roses on every previous anniversary. Should I depart from that? I am leaning towards sending the roses right now unless some of the wise sages on this board can give me reason not to.




"the wheels are turning on the last train to Amsterdam"
Ray Wylie Hubbard

No card.

Seems very contradictory with your legal actions. If you trust your attorney, then proceed with the actions.

It would be received poorly.

I like the mystery flowers.

I think a departure is called for ... something much more unexpected .... like ummmmmmmm... tulips maybe ??? Or orchids???

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

tulips? orchids? Is there some significance that would be communicated by these two flowers?
Sorry, I might be showing my guyness here.




"the wheels are turning on the last train to Amsterdam"
Ray Wylie Hubbard

Not that I know of ... but I am seeing a particular flower in my mind and I cannot for the life of me remember the name ... I'll get back to you ... BUT ... something unusual is my thought.

BUT, do whatever YOU think is best.

Pep<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Well, I don't know you could miss the "appropriate" choice. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

You send her yellow roses. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

God Bless,

JL

yellow roses? ......to me that means friendship. Am I wrong about that? Would it be taken otherwise? A peace offering perhaps?

The yellow rose of TEXAS ....

boy ... I thought I was slooooow

LOL

Pep<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Pepper,
do you not know who the Yellow Rose of Texas was? Brief Texas history lesson here. The YRoT was Emily Morgan. Emily was a mulatto prostitute during the Texas Revolution. After defeating the defenders of the Alamo, Gen. Santa Ana headed out to East Texas to confront Gen. Sam Houston's army. While waiting to attack the Texan's, Gen. Santa Ana sent for Emily, and she agreed to go to his tent during the traditional siesta time for the Mexican Army. While she was in his tent, the Texans attacked and routed the Mexican Army resulting in Texas independence.
While WW's actions have been reprehensible, I dont think I am ready to make the correlation between her and a prostitute. I think I will rule the yellow roses out at this point.



"the wheels are turning on the last train to Amsterdam"
Ray Wylie Hubbard

Red roses might seem to pushy to her. She might feel pressured by them.

I would go with Stargazer Lilies -- still very romantic, but without the strong significance of red roses.

Hmmmm.......just googled a pic of those Stargazer Lillies. Very nice.
I dont know though. I think my whole reason behind sending something is because of tradition and the fact that I want her to know that I still consider her my wife, despite the fact that she is steaming full speed ahead towards the D. I have always sent red roses. While her behavior, is far beyond what is worthy of love, she is still my wife and it is our anniversary. I dont know if I care that she thinks it is pushy. I think what I want to do is to make a statement about commitment.



"the wheels are turning on the last train to Amsterdam"
Ray Wylie Hubbard

You know best.

Follow YOUR instincts.

I think you are way cool <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Pepper! I consider that quite a compliment considering the source! I really appreciate all the advice from everyone.






"the wheels are turning on the last train to Amsterdam"
Ray Wylie Hubbard