Anybody have any thoughts / experience with simply going up to someone you suspect your wife of "fooling around" with and simply asking them the truth?

Would a mild threat to "possible" OM, concerning talking to their wife maybe convince the truth out?

holehearted,

I wouldn't recommend it.

Things can easily get out of hand.

I'm a very peacable man. The first time I met OM, I tried to strangle him. It was the first time since grade school that I'd been in any kind of physical confrontation.

It the guy married? If he is, then telling his wife your suspicions might be more effective. Let her beat him up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You want to do something that is effective. If you end up in a fight with him, your wife will probably be sympathetic to him, not you. Think about what will really end the A. If you are real brute and he is a wimp (and is just using your W for fun), you might scare him away. Otherwise, confrontation with OM will accomplish little.

Just my opinion.

-AD

If he is having an affair with your W, he is not likely to tell you the truth so it would be a wasted effort. IT's not likely that he will bust himself and you will probably just get lies and excuses.

And I wouldn't recommend ever threatening to tell his wife. You should simply go and TELL the wife. If you make the threat, he will simply pre-empt you by telling his wife that "some jealous nutball imagines I am having an affair with his wife..." so when you do call her, you will have been thoroughly discredited.

No, if you want to put an end the affair, the best way to do it is to just call up the OM's wife and tell her about the affair. Exposure is probably the single most effective method of ending the affair there is. Sometimes it can end the affair that day. Affairs cannot survive the light of day.

But if you warn the OM you are going to do this, you just throw away the best weapon in your arsenal.

Have you investigated to find out if they are actually having an affair? If you aren't sure, that must be your first step before you call anyone.