I'm crazy about my H (actually my 3rd) and he says he's very much in love with me. So why doesn't it seem that way? H has very little sex drive (I'm so tired of begging!) and everything else is going down hill fast, emotionally, financially, etc. and insecurity is #1 big with me. Been on the couch for a year and a half 'cause I just can't stand to lie there starving next to H snoring away the night in what used to be our bed. Confronted him 2 months ago about an online ad I accidentally found that he wrote to find OW that H "used to know" and says he was just looking for an old friend. How stupid do I look? I am reading everything I can get my hands on and been on this sight all day; we're in a communication class that we're currently failing and scheduled to attend a marriage seminar and take additional courses, but is there really any hope? I don't know how much longer I can take this and I am ready to walk out on #3. Does anybody know what I mean? The apathy is pathetic!
Already ordered 2 copies of His needs, Her needs and wish I would have overnighted them! Ugh!

I am glad you still have fire for your husband (although you don't say how long you've been married) and that he seems committed to you as well.

Sometimes marriages go through those phases. Is he currently under stress -- job, family, finances, health, etc.? That may have something to do with it.

Also, any help in communication is great, as it seems this may have soemething to do with communicating what matters to each individual in a relationship, than the inability to provide it.

Hope this helps.

Married 5 yrs and dated for 1 prior. Stress seems to be my middle name and H is extremely passive to the point of being unresponsive! We are a very blended family and he has taken on my 3 kids with the additions of our 3 yr old son who nobody expected since the man was told he was sterile from testicle cancer. (God bless the miracle baby!) It would be really nice to have this hottie as my support system and confidant but he seems uninterested again, which translates to me uncaring and unloving.

Worn out but still somewhat hopeful.

How are you doing on the applicatoin of the concepts material from this site? Have you looked at the EN questionnaire and filled it out and had your H do it as well?

There are pro-active things you can do, but generally, advice from people here is based on the assumption that you have reviewed the MB material in the Concetps link (up at the top) and the Q&A material.

I have not filled out the questionaire or even told my husband about this site yet. I stumbled upon it while looking for help online and considered the counseling center. I have read just about every page on the site, but it's not easy to apply when you are really hurting. I am stuck in unforgiveness and trying to work thru that, while the seminar we attended yesterday was great also! The whole place was laughing and having a great learning experience and my husband loved the day because the speaker has a great sense of humor and a southern accent to boot so it was very comical. But I am so deeply hurt that I was visibly upset with tears running down my face. I just couldn't laugh at the things that my life was in a shambles about. I am still learning how to cope with the pain of emotional abandonment and coming out of the valley of the shadow of death and grief because I lost both parent in 7 weeks to lung cancer. That's where I was, taking care of them, while H was looking for someone else. I know I have to fight for this marriage, and some days I just can't. Other days I'd kick anybody's [censored] that gets in my way. Right now I have to find a way to become stable enough to fight everyday with the same passion to save the relationship and move forward and past the hardness of my heart. Easier said than done.