Thank you AW,
I will work on the MC with him. He is the type of person that thinks you only go to the doctor if you are virtually dead...lol.. To him MC's are doctors...
Been busy with end of school life with kids these past few days....and I breed Yorkies and had a litter 4 days ago, so lots to do and little time it seems.
Once again thank you...
Tammy

I thought I would update here. I have posted on general questions but no responses.

I have started taking AD's and have an appt with IC on Tuesday.

I have fully applied plan A in our marriage, just with no return from WH. That hurts. We have talked more this past month than ever in 17 years of marriage.

I cannot get the OW out of my head and need to move forward, with or without him. So I have grown some b*lls and must move on for me and the kids. I have read 3 of the harley books and still find it hard to believe it happened to me, I feel so alone and hurt. I just want these chaotic memories and feelings to go away. I want to be happy and be a family. I want more than the last 17 years. I have admitted my faults to him in the marriage, and apologized to him for them. Now I am looking out for me and the kids. I feel selfish for doing this and do not want to be selfish. How do I move forward with me, and still do plan A?
Tammy

Hi. I guess I missed your post on general questions. Sometimes it depends on the time you post. Weekends are slow.

But anyway, all of your feelings are very normal. I know that doesn't help much. But I promise you that you will one day feel fine again. In the meantime, try to take care of yourself and your family.

It does sound like your husband has a porn/serial cheating problem. Unless he gets some counseling to find out why he does this, he is unlikely to get better.

Since you only have control of you, that is where to start. Are you able to eat and sleep better now?

Also, if you feel lonely and want to just be silly (to relieve stress) check out Idiotville. There are lots of folks your age posting there. Most of the time, we talk about stupid stuff, but it is a great place to get support.

Thank you believer,
I just needed to hear from someone besides myself, I think.
It is just weird, I wanted nothing to do with him, pushed him away the first week, now I want him to put more into it. Yes I can eat, but sleeping is still a little difficult at times, but is better.

I think I am not only crazy myself, but am making him crazy too... I feel sorry for him most of the time. But then angry, he has been trying to meet my EN by meeting his own. He requires a whole lot of affection and attention. I do not, but that is what he is trying to do to meet my needs..

As for the porn/cheating, yes I think he has a big problem with that. I am his third wife, and just found out that he cheated on both of the other 2, one in retaliation of her cheating on him, and the other while they were seperated then got back together. SO I must have been real stupid to marry him, but did not know it until just recently.

I do feel lonely alot, so I will check out Idiotville, and once again, thank you.
Tammy

justempty -

Have you read Orchid's Mulberry thread on general questions? It is absolutely GREAT. I bumped it up for you. You might want to print it out for your husband to read also.

I know that you don't think you want your marriage right now, but please give it some time. Your husband is COMPLETELY different than the average WS around here. He may still come to his senses, and go for some counseling.

I was thinking today that this could also be a mid-life crisis problem. He is much older than you, and men tend to have MLC's at about his age. But that is the thing, how are you going to find out, if he will not go for some counseling.

I'm not saying the MLC makes it right, but it is very common for men to cheat at that time. Anyway, hope things are getting better for you.