I was cleaning up the house today when I ran across a bunch of stuff from the affair. Once the affair was ended my hubby and I felt that the best way to communicate was for him to write down all of his questions/concerns, e-mail them to me and I would answer them, then we would go over them together, face to face. Kind of odd I know but it worked for us. Anyway, that’s what I found.
I find all this stuff, all this pain, suffering, and sickness and I had to smile because we are no longer in that place anymore. We tackled the pain head on, pushed through all the muck that lead up to the affair, and came out better than before. I can now say I have regained my integrity and I am not going to give it up.
We still belong to the Conflict Avoiders Club but we are learning to talk, and learning to be truthful instead of lying to avoid “stirring up the pot”. We are still in counseling but now our goal is not to discuss the affair but how we can strengthen our marriage for the future.
Tomorrow is our 12 year anniversary. This has been the hardest year of our marriage and we came out better for it. We are escaping the heat of Los Angeles for our annual anniversary trip down to San Diego. I am so happy because I no longer carry the burden of the affair. My husband is happy and secure in the fact that our marriage is intact – not only that but thriving.
I hope this helps some of you who feel that recovery is a tough road and not really worth it. If you set your mind and heart to it, it can be the best thing that has happened to your marriage.
God bless…
