weaver,

So what's up? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hearing bits and pieces of what is going on with you. Come on girl, we know you need to tell all, LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Time for and update, lots of love and sympathy.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Hi Miss M!

Holy toledo, 3:12 a.m. and you're up. What area do you live in?

I had kind of posted updates on a couple of different threads. Grayclouds and one I started titled "Which is the best voice activated recorder to buy".

To make a long story short, I thought he changed over this past winter so I let myself fall right back in love all the way. Now I think he was just stringing me along.

We own a piece of island property together which is worth quite a lot of money. We had purchased it a few years ago with the hopes of building a home there, and for a place for all the kids/grandkids to come to.

Well last weekend we went over there to spread some sand around which had been dropped off for a beach and he mentioned to me that he wanted me to sign off on the title before he starts building, and then if we get married it would be mine again anyway. I didn't say too much as I was very shocked and speachless to put it mildly.

Then he wanted to stop at the bar on the way home, I didn't want to. He stopped to run in to get a beer to go, but didn't come out for 15 minutes. I lost my cool, we got in a big fight and I haven't seen him since. Oh except the next morning when he stopped by my house to get some of his things. He was still livid and said "I go into the bar for 5 minutes and you go psycho. I really can't take you anymore". Then he was gone. I said nothing except I was worried about him all night, thinking he got arrested or something.

I wrote him a letter which he would have gotten yesterday telling him how it hurt me that he wanted me to sell out my half to him. But still I haven't heard anything from him.

He works on the road in another state and lives with one of his DD's on the weekend. He has no cell phone, computer or anyway to really get in touch with him.

I called an atty Friday to have something drawn up that I wanted half of the appraised value. I am not going to get in a war with him I decided, if that is the way it is going to go. I also want the atty to put something in there that until the matter is settled my DD and I will be using the property and don't want to be intimidated or harrassed by him or his family in an attempt to keep us out.

That's it in a nutshell.

Thank you for asking Miss M, it means more to me than I can say.

Have two weeks already gone by since that awful time when you provided perspective and helped keep me going?

Just read your post to Aislinn, please e-mail me. sally.athelny@gmail.com - I heard you and well, you already know... e-mail me?


{{{{weaver}}}}


Sal

Thank you Sally.

Right back atcha {{{{{Sal}}}}}

weaver,

I live in Seattle. I work double shifts and often don't get home until 10 or 11pm Pacific time. It takes me awhile to unwind and I try to wait for my H to get home, he's a musician and works nights. So we are night owls, LOL. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Gosh, I am so sorry to hear of these latest events with you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Hate to see you with a broken heart again. I must agree that it looks like he kind of set you up so he could have the property. Sorry it has been such a bone of contention. Why on earth would he want you to just GIVE this property to him? Especially with no promises, only an 'if' we get married. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

As for the bar issue, I believe you might have been reacting more to him asking you to sign off the property to him, and the bar was the catalyst to your overreaction.

Well, I'm praying for you and hope you are feeling better. Good that you are seeing a lawyer and protecting your interests.

I do hope this all works out for you, as I know you love this guy. You do, however, deserve a LOT better treatment.

(((((hugs! weaver))))) And by the way, you are WORTHY! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Thank you for your kindness M.

I will be okay. I think I need a few weeks off of the board. Get away from all this.

I'll look for you when I get back. Of course you post so rarely anymore, it might be awhile before I "catch" you here again.

Thank you for caring, and I sincerely hope all is well in your world now.

weaver,

You know I am always lurking here, so when you get back from your break just give a holler, or post on this thread and I'll get back to you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Just want you to know I am praying for your emotional healing, am so sorry your SO did this again. Hopefully you can find what is healthiest for you and DD.

God bless you and keep you weaver. You are precious and valued by all here, and WORTHY of love and peace in your life. Don't forget that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Cool !
A Weaver thread, and I didn't even have to ask !

Weaver,
I went camping Friday night with my youngest son. It was a church group, with other teens his age, and other dads. After most of the people drifted off to bed, and my son was telling stories to his buddies by the campfire, I went for a walk. I did a lot of thinking, and I thought about you, and P.

I hope you don't mind me telling you some of the thoughts I had as I walked.
I thought about the pain you must have gone through as you got close to Ex, only to have it blow up on you again. I thought about trust, and how hard it is any time, but even more so when these things happen. I thought about how you want to show P how married life should be, but you can't yet.

It's a bigger deal than I could get from reading your posts, because you seem to be a happy person that makes the best of whatever happens. This is (I thought) another one of those life shattering events that can ruin someone if not processed correctly.

I thought about healing - what it is, and how we reach it from emotional distress. When something happens to us, we react to the pain, and the hurt. WE try to distance ourselves from whatever caused it. We try to avoid future damage.

This is necessarry, but it is not enough. You do need to stay away from the pain to heal, but you need to go further than that.

1. You need to be who you are.
Don't hide your feelings about things that are important to you. Not only can you stay away from Bars, you can find people that feel like you do, and spend more time with them. I know what yo have said about the area you live in, but there are ALWAYS others that are like minded. These people will build you up for your standards, not tear you down.


2. You are not being selfish if you set boundaries and live by them. You are protecting the parts of you that make it possible for you to do the good things you do. To be a good mom, to grow and learn spiritially, to progress in your emotional, and spritial goals.

3. Meeting your needs is your own responsibility. We tend to love those that meet our needs. I agree with Dr Harley that we will fall in love with those that meet them well. HOWEVER, please protect yourself. Please don't let people who don't have the same spiritial goals as you meet your needs. This is a hard one, becaue we all like to give others the benifit of the doubt. Prayer will help you know.

Your happiness won't depend on anyone else, or anyting else but your own choices and how you live your life. If you find the right guy, he can add to your happiness, but not if it isn't already there.

4. Say no to things, or people that are not good for you.
Sometimes we look at this as being selfish. I know God wants you to be happy. He has invested a lot in you, and I think you feel it sometimes. When you say no to things that hinder your effort to reach spiritial goals, you help God protect his inventment. He has plans for you, and they don't harm you, they help you reach your full potiential. He wants you to have a mate that will help you along. Note the word mate - not master, lord, or whatever. Mate - something that matches, or fits. Something that is supposed to be.

Plese don't loose hope. Do what is right, and let God bless you on his schedule. Plese know that you have value, you are of great worth. It is so plain that even someone such as I can see it.

May happiness be in your heart - so it will match your smile.

SS

SS and Miss M,

Your posts mean so much to me. I just really can't put much into words right now.

I do agree that bars are going to have to be a boundary for me. I hate them. I see only pain in them. I worked them for so long that I can't handle them.

Plus all the fights I have ever had with my ex-fiance have revolved around bars.

He still hasn't called. I can't think of a more hostile act than leaving during an argument and not calling for a week. Maybe he will never call again, until he's got papers for me to sign, I don't know.

A mutual friend told me if I signed the title over for what he is offering (practically nothing in lieu of what it is worth) that he will have his own place, regain some self-esteem and fall in love with me again. I can't for the life of me see the logic in that. I can only think that he has really got her bamboozeled. Her and her husband are my neighbors and friends of us both.

Anyway my DD just got home from her paternal grandmothers house in Canada, so I must go.

I'll post in a few weeks when I have found some kind of peace again.

I know that God is the answer but right now I am very angry with Him. He has definately heard my wrath this week. I'm just so dang mad at Him. And not just for myself, but for all the pain in the world.

Weaves My Dear,

You may not get this, as you are planning on taking that break, but I just wanted to remind you how loved you are here. You are getting some amazing advice from SS and MM; please heed it and know that you are close always close to our hearts.

Love & hugs,

~ StillLovingHim

Weaver, I'm mad too.

I hope you read this and then go on vacation... SS is right, you oughta be with someone who appreciates your spiritual side, someone you can share that with.

Much love to weaver!

GC

What's Gray mad about?

SS

I'm mad that weaver hasn't quite nailed the peaceful, inspiring life with a good partner that she deserves. That she's been disappointed again.

I'm also a little mad that I played a gig and went to a party this weekend and still met no available women.

But mostly I'm mad for weaver. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

GC

Weaver,

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this disappointment.

I don't have anything wise to say - just hoping to see you back and in good spirits soon.

-AD

Little Cat Z,

What is this AD, some kind of alter ego? Can't for the life of me figure it out. But laughed out loud anyway. LOL

Gray,

I am so glad you are in the market again. So much love to give, so many tears have been shed. It is time, and I am so very grateful that you are healing.

My DD's dad is a very talented and popular musician in these parts. I was very intimidated by the whole band scene and all that goes with it. Also the certain amount of (seeming) arrogance and conceit that alot of muscians appear to have. NOT TRUE. But the girls don't know this. Alot, and especially the ones who would be what you want, might be intimidated by you. Might have to chase a bit Gray, to overcome this. KWIM?

Since this is my thread I am just going to say whatever I want, in the way that is most natural to me.

Thank you Miss M! For this thread.

Artist: Coldplay Lyrics
Song: Green Eyes Lyrics

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand

That green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you
And how could, anybody, deny you

I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, now I’ve met you
And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you

Green eyes

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know

That green eyes, you’re the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who, tried to deny you must be out of their mind

Cause I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, since I met you
Honey you should know, that I could never go on without you

Green eyes
Green eyes

Ohohohohooooo
Ohohohohooooo

Ohohohohooooo
Ohohohohooooo

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand


I love this song. Got turned onto Coldplay reading Gray's thread. I have green eyes. Not whimpy hazel green, but like the color of Cedars, healthy green Cedars. The one physical attribute that seems to be untouched by my age, still. Listening to this song right now, makes me happy. Like I really could be somebodys rock.

Well I am signing over my half of the island property to my ex-fiance at what I put into it plus interest. I love this man, and I cannot do anything but. He LOVES this property, he needs this property. I simply do not need it. I have my house and I am good here.

We have talked for hours and hours this week. He told me that he loves me, wants to date me, wants to help me and DD out and spend time with us. But he does not want to get married. He told me what he has to offer, and can I accept that. Will it make me happy? Is it enough?

Yes. I love him. He is a decent man trying to find his way in the world, correcting the mistakes he has made.

I am distrustful, and I need to learn to trust again. To trust myself, and to trust God.

Anyway, I am going to start officially dating him again. Some on here will not like me anymore, some will. I am okay with that. Although there are a couple of people on here who I love and I will lose as friends, I am going to do what I believe to be right for me and my DD, and him.

We are leaving a week from Saturday for the Great Smokey Mountains, Bryson City NC. We have rented a mountain lodge, and an SUV to drive their in. We decided this would be better than Cancun.

My BF, DD and one of her friends are coming.

I have so much love for this board. I have never lied or knowingly hurt anyone in my life. I did not know he was married when I was first dating him. When I found out I ended it and did not see him again until he was divorced legally.

It was his third marriage, and she did not want his kids around. His kids do not like her and he was divorcing her for this reason when I met him.

I feel I must explain, once again. Because I really care about the people here. I miss you all when I don't read. I cry for you, laugh with you and pray for you.

We are all going to get through this, together. If only for a little while, we are on this journey together. And I thank God everyday for this place.

Rock on!!!!!

Weaver, glad to see you post. I was worried about you. Whatever you do please be cautious and protect your heart. I would hate to see it get broken again. I care and you can email anytime if you wish. killnme2004-mb@yahoo.com

Your friend,
Faith

Hey Faith,

I have been thinking about you and will copy your email. I have to say I am not good about email, but want to have your addy in case.

My heart can take a little pain, if it happens.

I've been following you on Gray's thread Faith. I really hope that you are doing okay.

I am way more worried about you than me, but you have such a big open heart. I know that in the end you will be happy again. I mean really happy. You just have too much love in you not to be.

{{{{{Faith}}}}}

Thank you for always being the first to jump on someone's thread and lend a shoulder. You are the BEST that way!

Thank you, Weaver. I think it will be a very long time before I feel healthy but I will heal from all of this. Email anytime, even just to say "hey I am ok" or if you want a shoulder. I will be ok, I have a great support system and wonderful children. Love ya, Weaver. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Weaver - It's your life so you must do as you see fit. But I can't for the life of me, understand why you have to sign over the land to him? So that troubles me. tt

TT -

Because he wants to mortgage it and start building a house. He wants it to be his with no chance that he will lose it regardless of what happens to us. If I don't sign off of the title he can't mortgage it unless I am on the mortgage.

He wants a place all his own and he doesn't want to get married.

I have come along way since two weeks ago when he first mentioned me signing it over to him. I was so hurt but then we had not talked of our relationship, I just assumed because he had started coming back around this past winter that he wanted to get back with me. I mean he was coming into town working on my rental, visiting with us but staying in motels.

I was reading into it what I wanted. He wasn't giving me a line. I guess that was his way of starting to date and starting a new relationship with me.

Before last spring when I asked him to move out we were planning our wedding. I just assumed we were moving back to that.

That's another thing, when I kicked him out he was homeless. Still is. He lives in motels and at his daughters house.

I think I do understand why he needs the land to be only his.

Or maybe I am just gullible as usual. Only time will tell and for now I feel peace with the decision.

Thanks TT, for your concern.