Well he called this a.m. and asked why I called his mom. I said I called her because I was upset after hearing his messages (duh). He said the surgery was the truth, and he doesn't normally keep his mom up to date with his dad because she has been married 25 years to someone else, etc.

He said he was very upset too that week after he called to cancel the trip, and why didn't I call his DD to get a message to him? I don't have her number any longer. Why he didn't call me back after hanging up on me? I didn't ask, and he didn't say.

The convo was very, very short. I said that I didn't want to have bad thoughts about him forever haunting me and hoped he had not had bad intentions all this time, and that I had always loved him. I also said I am sorry for any hurt I caused him with my angry words. He said "I have issues", and I said yes. Then I said I have to go, and he said okay.

That was it, the entire goodbye conversation. He said very little, and I said a little more but not much.

Maybe I shouldn't have said what I said but I had always loved him and desparately needed it to end on a loving note from my end.

I have things going on with my tenents (non payment) and also construction workers out back to deal with (yeah).

I am okay, in a good place but sadder (I doubt wiser since I don't know if I should have said loving words to him now).

Se lest vi (sp)

Hi weaver.

When the person I loved most betrayed and rejected me, I was confused and terrified. You gave me comfort when I was falling apart. I'll always be grateful.

La la la la la la.

GC <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I feel the same way about you Gray. The silver lining in this cloud which has descended upon our lives is that we have friends who know our pain. blech, blech and double blech.

"No one said it would be easy,
no one said it would be this hard..."

LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!!!

Hey Gray?

Van Morrison, "Into the Mystic"

We were born before the wind
Also younger than the sun
Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic
Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic

And when that fog horn blows I will be coming home
And when that fog horn blows I want to hear it
I don’t have to fear it
I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
Then magnificently we will float into the mystic
And when that fog horn blows you know I will be coming home
And when thst fog horn whistle blows I got to hear it
I don’t have to fear it
I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
And together we will float into the mystic
Come on girl...

Not really about sailing, but there is a ship involved!:

Ray Thomas (Moody Blues), "The Last Dream"

A simple man had the strangest dream.
He stood in a garden of flowers
That overlooked the sea.
And there sailing by
were his truth and his lies going home.

While all around the sweetest sounds
Filled the air with love.
They made his senses pound.
He saw with open mind,
His life turn with the tide to go home.

Memories of youth had passed before.
He and he alone could count the score.
For he was free, he was free.
This was his last dream.

Such melodies are made to sing.
The mellow sounds within a thousand violins.
Caught upon the breeze,
They play in harmony, sweet harmony.

At last he knew his act was through.
With no applause and no encores,
Though the house was full.
So bring the curtain down.
Lay him in the ground,
For he's gone home.

Memories of youth had passed before.
He and he alone could count the score.
Now he is free, he is free.
This was his last dream.

*********************

-ol' 2long

Oh I love The Moody Blues.

Trying to open bearshare, but dang it won't open.

weaver:

I keep forgetting the thingy you use 2 download 2nes!

Ray Thomas did 2 solo albums. That song is on the 2nd one.

-ol' 2long

Well I got it open and searched under Ray Thomas - nothing.

I'm feeling very melancholy.

This is what I should have said to that tortured, lost man. And why oh why do I always have to be loving to someone who is unworthy. It is a flaw in my character, and I just don't know why.

I should have said -

"You brought pain, darkness and deception into my happy home. You hurt me and DD. We loved and trusted you. You have brought only pain and misery, you took love from us and replaced it with pain, lies and doubt. It's a good thing you can't read, because then you might read Dante's "Inferno", and would know what is in store for you."

Why can't I ever tell the truth.

Weaver:

I think you said the right thing. Now you can go forward with no regrets.

-ol' 2long

I hope so 2long. I hope that I have done what love would require of me.

Now this song is for you. Because I know of the deep love you have for your wife and the way you struggle with what is right, and what is best for her as well as for you.

For 2long, and the memory of what could be with Mrs. 2long -

John Denver "Perhaps Love"

Perhaps love is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
and don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you thru

O love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
Some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
A thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
Some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
A thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

Weaver:

That's cool! I don't think I've ever heard that one before.

Thanques,
-ol' 2long