Hi All
First of all i would like to thank everyone who asked the very sensitive questions and who answered them honestly in the threads. The info was very helpful and it definitely made me aware of sin as a christian wife and all that can happen to me and what to avoid.
I am an MBB(muslim background believer) and has accepted Christ in my teens after God used a servant to reach out to me. Then fours years later of friendship i fell inlove with that very person and we got married in 2002. He is upto today loving caring and devoted to me even more after being married for almost 3 years. Now dont get me wrong it was not a fairytale marriage at all but thru the test of time we have come to love each other more deeply instead of just butterflies.
Now comes my problem:
There was this friend of mine(not friends anymore), he was so infactuated with me and i didnt know what to do. all i did was say no all the time then 1&half years ago i became weary and gave-in to him after having a bad patch with H and the moment lasted a few seconds before i realised what i was doing and stopped immediately and felt so terrible for allowing the Affair to happen even tho he got me when i was vulnerable and angry with H. i am so ashamed was not sure if i should tell H what happened cos afraid it would kill our relationship or his trust. Prayed about it and asked forgiveness of friend and God. His persistence stopped immediately and now he told his wife about it and is forcing me to tell my husband because he became a pastor and wants to make right with everyone. i dont know what to do? cos it has been fine ever since it stopped and we went on with our lives. i thought it was over but now i cant sleep cos it meant nothing to me but when i tell H he will take it differently and feel like i betrayed him. Please help? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

You did. Betray him, I mean. I think you should confess. Some would disagree, but people on this board will encourage you to confess.

How is the other man "forcing" you to confess? Is he threatening to tell your husband if you don't?

By the way, "it meant nothing to me" might not be the best spin to put on this.

GC

Please read the book Surviving an Affair to learn the how and whys of exposing the A. Also call Steve H @ MB so that he may be able to give you some guidance on how to exposure this info to your H.

Good to see you here asking important questions. Recovery takes time and you both have a lot to work on.

L.

Is the relationship so tenuous between you and your H that the strain of "nearly nothing" is going to break it?

I'm not belittling the magnitude of the affair, but on the other hand, there are worse things.

Sure, there might be some trust issues that crop up, initial anger, shock, etc etc, but all in all, it would be better if your H heard it from you, rather than from the OM.

Reviewing the FAQ material on recovering from infidelity may offer some insight as well.