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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 23
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 23 |
My WW's inlaws know whats going on and our very supportive of me. I am now in plan B. My question is, should they ask about the affair, or will it create more tension between them? I know when its out, it has a better chance of dying faster. They asked once awhile ago, but haven't since.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
I would just tell them that you love your W and want to save your M. Plan B is to preserve your love for your WW.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380 |
Hi josch,
I'm a little confused here: are you asking if the In-Laws should ask your WW about the A or talk to you? You said they already know.Does your WW know they are already aware of what has happened?
O
BW(me)40
DDay 10/11/03
Divorcing
'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1
~Let Higher Minds Prevail~
---------------
~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247 |
Exposure is part of PLAN A. You already went to Plan B and haven't exposed the affair? Its one of your best tools, why haven't you used it?
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
I took as he meant should they ask him about the status what does he say? Now I wonder if he meant should they ask his WW about it. J?
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 23
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 23 |
I told her parents about it.They we're suspicious themselves-her mother even knew his name.she asked ww about once before and she flatly denied it. my question is, should i encourage her parents to ask her again? I'm supposed to call them tonite.
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 23
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 23 |
she doesn't know her parents know. i told them in confidence
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
J, read this link by WAT affair exposure 101 I don't think you understand what exposure really is.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 23
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 23 |
i read the link and it was informative. my ww is not willing to talk to anyone about it-not our longtime friends or her family. when her parents talk to her about the marriage-she gets upset. so she thinks they are in the dark about it. so i'm wondering if its a bad idea if her parents let her know that they know about it. i myself am in nc with her
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380 |
josch,
In reality,it will be up to the In-Laws to handle at they see fit.If you remind them that you love your WW and want to save your marriage and appreciate their support,that is all you can do.Even though my In-Laws were very supportive to me and very upset with my WH,I didn't dictate how they should respond to him.I felt that was their business since my WH was their son.Take whatever support your IL's have to give YOU but let them deal with their D the way they want.
O
BW(me)40
DDay 10/11/03
Divorcing
'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1
~Let Higher Minds Prevail~
---------------
~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~
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