Not that it's dramatic news to many of us, but I just feel so encouraged and inspired I wanted to plug their phone counseling.

It is not cheap -- but it WORKS!

It is on the phone -- but it WORKS!

If anyone is considering it, has a spouse who is willing to participate, and you are both familiar with the MB concepts (Surviving an Affair is a GREAT book) and committed to making saving your marriage #1 -- know that it WORKS!

It's not touchy-feely "how do you feel" counseling. It's personal marriage coaching that gives you REAL tools and advice to apply their proven principles. There are no shortcuts and no parts that can be dismissed, but their roadmap to recovery WORKS!

I can't imagine where we'd be without it, and I don't want to.

Thanks Waslost,

I just made the plunge and called to make an appt. Left a message. Waiting for a callback. Good timing on your post, at least for me. Been debating it awhile.

jls

HEY THERE! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

So how are you and the Mrs Doing these days? Sounds good so far from what you said.Nice to see a post from ya!

O

Ditto for me! WH won't partake, but I will. My first appointment is Friday.

WASLOST, did you go to Steve willingly or did your wife have to drag you there?

lost, actually our sessions were with Jennifer Harley, and I made the first appointment and had to encourage my wife to participate!

Edit to elaborate... back when I signed up in February (seems like years ago!) my wife had just filed for D, I was living with my sister, and the fog was starting to swirl. Posting over on the Pregnancy forum really helped my get clarity and start doing things right first and foremost for myself -- I had some hope for my M, but was pretty sure it was doomed. I sent a NC letter to OW, quit my job, and started focusing on my W and her situation. Thanks to the encouragement of some friends (who'd refered me to MB in the first place), my W agreed that there might be hope and would do some phone counseling, provided the MB format was followed to the letter. Two months later, all I can say is wow. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi Octobergirl,

Yes, everything is going really well, probably couldn't be better. I take that back -- once I get a new job, things will improve again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Lots of interviewing and things moving, so hopefully soon.

My W and I have worked through a lot of counseling and issues. NC is still in full effect, which of course forces us to wait and see what happens when the OC is born in August. I have no idea if OW is back with her husband or even still P for that matter. In the meantime, we're working on the marriage and bracing ourselves for the potential crisis; like Jennifer said just yesterday, every marriage has crises to deal with, from job loss to death to illness, etc., and having a strong foundation is the key to getting through any of them. Our kids are doing really well and seem to have put so much of this behind them; we keep trying to elicit comments and questions, but they seem to have none.

Thanks for the comments, hope all is well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

am new. I am still trying to figure out how my life got so out of control and where I go from here. My husband and I have been married for 17 years. There have been ups and down but for the most part a great marriage and friendship. We have both put ourselves through college and have great jobs. WE are very blessed with three wonderful girls.

Three months agao I caught my husband in a huge lie. He told me he was going to be on a business trip in NYC but ended up going to see his brother so they could use drugs and get high together. (He missed our twins birthday so he coudl do this). This was the first time I knew about my husbands drug problem. I knew he did drugs before we were married but did not know the problem was ongoing. It ended up that he has been using are whole married life. Really good at hiding it because no in his life except his brother knew about it. Anyways to make a long story short he ended up in rehab where the second week there he began a sexual affair with a woman who was at the rehab. I had no idea what was going on and could not figure out why he treated me so bad on the phone when he called. I went up for a family counseling weekend and really thought things were going well. I had no idea of the affair. He even introduced me to this woman, but did not introduce her has his lover. A week later he comes home and two days later I discover a text message on his cell phone that was sent to her. It was detailed and there was no question about what was going on. When questioned he lied but ended up telling me that he had a one night stand with this W. We start marriage counseling and he promiesed me, the counselor , and even a religous leader that it was only a one time thing and he was not in contact anymore with this W. (He called her in front of me to break it off). Well this week I found out that he has been talking to her on the phone several times a day and that instead of a one time affair it was very involved and he even left the rehab early with this woman so they could spend the weekend together in a hotel before they went home (She is married and her husband found out and left her and took their son with him). At first he did not want to end contact with her again because he said he would miss her and he had a lot of feelings for her. A few days ago he called her again (in front of me) and broke it off for the second time. I am so unsure though because all he does is lie. He does not show any remorse for what he has done. A lot of time he makes me feel like I am the one to blame. He says he wants to be married but his action say another thing. He has turned my life and my girls life upside down. I had him move out and the girls are really struggling. This all happen so fast and with no warning and we don't know how to pick up the pieces. I am sorry this is so long but I am so confused and don't know what to do. I love my h and want our marriage, I just don't know if I can get it back. I have never been so tired and hurt in my whole life. I did not know anything could hurt so bad.
I made an app. with the Harleys and I am really hoping they can help us. I was really excited to read that it has helped so much in your marriage. Thanks for sharing.

Conneen, I'm so sorry to hear your story. As a FWH it always hurts to read what WHs do, and remember being on their side of the story, totally lost in the fog. If you haven't, I'd recommend reading Surviving an Affair and asking him to do so, too; the more familiar you are with all the MB concepts, the more easily you can work the process in counseling.

Is your husband living elsewhere now? Is he going to participate in the counseling? Is he in NC with OW? If he is still on the fence and you're counseling alone, you may get some practical advice about Plan A and B. If he's really committed to repairing the marriage, I know the Harleys can help him do so!