I have been dating a certain woman on and off for several months. The past few weeks we have seen each other every weekend. We have met at a restaurant or theater a few times and I have also picked her up at her place. She has never been to my house.

Today, I called her to suggest we get together for dinner on Friday. She works very near my home, while my work and home are rather far from her place. I suggested I drive over to her place after work and pick her up. She countered with the suggestion that she drive to my place. She would bring dessert and I would provide the dinner.

This is good, right? I mean a woman would not suggest visiting a man's home unless she was comfortable with him and had a definate romantic interest, right? Forgive me for seeming so nieve, but it's been over 20 years since I last dated. We are both in our 50's.

Hi Justin,

While I think it's clear she is interested in you & enjoys your company it may not as clear that she has "intimacy" on her mind, if that's what you're asking.

This sounds like the next step in getting to know someone & spending time together. You've been to her house, now she's coming to yours.

It's been 21 years since I've been in the dating world so you're ahead of me by "several months". How do you feel you've done so far interpreting the behavior of your friend? If you feel pretty confident you've gotten it right so far I'll bet you'll get this right too.

You're not nieve & yes, this looks like a good thing. Enjoy!

Is it a good thing? I think it depends on your culinary skills. LOL. Today, women seem to want a man that can cook. Either way, I'd read it that she's comfortable.

Umm. Trying to be delicate here, but if it turns out she wants more, are you prepared with precautions?

Hey Justin,

It's good that she feels comfortable enough with you to want to spend the evening in your home.

How have you been handling expenses so far? If you've been splitting them 50/50 so far, it may mean that she is too broke to want to help pay for an expensive dinner. I know that I sometimes am too broke and will either tell my boyfriend that I can't pay tonight or I offer to have dinner at the house. (He doesn't cook much well - in fact most of what he cooks is pretty bad)

Women do want men that will cook and pamper - for real, not for show during courtship though.

Good luck and buy some "protection" just in case. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Sunny

Hmmm.... I doubt if she is planning on seducing me at my place. She has had plenty of chances to do that at hers.

Really, I don't think either of us are ready for intimacy, just a lot of snuggling and kissing.

Oh, I am a decent cook and can make a number of tasty dishes and desserts.

Hi Justin,
I think she digs you....she sounds very comfortable about coming over to your house. I don't believe she would agree to it unless she had a definite romantic interest in you.
What are you going to cook?
It sounds like lots of fun!!!!!!! Snuggling and kissing...wow....it's been a while, sounds nice.
KK

Comfortable, sure, but beyond that...

I make it a rule not to assume anything, at least consciously. And there is simply not enough information provided here to gauge the level of romantic interest indicated.

The woman I'm interested in has been alone with me at my house on a number of occasions, and has even sat down to a meal with me a couple of those times. (Yes, I cooked.) And yet, she has consistently and repeatedly stated that she does not want to "date" me.

Being "comfortable" can cut either way. I seem to be the kind of guy women find comfortable to have "as a friend." I can't help but wonder whether that means I am missing some aura of danger which a woman finds necessary for romantic interest in order to inject excitement into a relationship. I'm too darn safe.

Gnome, you last statement sounds like it would make another very interesting message thread. How "safe" and "nice" should a man be? Can he be to "safe" and "nice"?

Personally, I think so.

I think we men have been over sensitized to being the sensitive, caring type of guy. We have let this new belief system hide our masculinity. Do you remember Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones? Remember how all these young girls screamed and lost control when he sang? Remember how they threw themselves at him? Do you believe that he is that good looking? Was his image that of a sensitive caring guy?

I am not suggesting that men stop being nice, caring and nurturing. What I am suggesting is that we take back our masculinity and do it OUR WAY. (Hmmm... Didn't Frank Sinatra, another female magnet, have something to say about that?)

Excactly how we do that is still unknown to me. I guess I will have to work on that problem.

I would say it does sound like a good thing, however I wouldn't go into it expecting anything more than good conversation and a good meal (you are a good cook right?). Otherwise you may just be left feeling let down.

Go with the flow, if it's meant to happen, it will.

So, let's get down to the really important stuff. What are you going to make?

(can you tell I'm dieting? I'm obsessing over food.)

There is no such thing as a "diet" you need to make lifestyle change.

edited

GG, I just dropped you an email.

"tonights the night, gonna be alright" Rod Stewart <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />