Bob

Do you carry these objects in hopes you'll find the OM or are they symbolic in some way?

Can you accept the letter from a contrite OP as the thoughts of the OM in your life?

As the OM I hope that OW's H has forgiven her and the pain I have caused him has lessened.
Hiker


I can only 'do' recovery while I know that I am a three hour drive from making OMs old flesh yield to my righteous vengeance.

You know that 'walk softly but carry a big stick' saying ?

When OM wouldn't maintain NC early on I presented him with several facts that my reasearch had revealed. About his petty criminal activities and the contact details of the various organizations that if they heard of his nefarious activities ( not just his affair with my wife) it would utterly destroy him.

It was well researched and accurate.

Only the fact that his GF begged me not to expose this stayed my hand in the early days. She said " Bob you have to leave me and OMs son SOMETHING we can respect to rebuild our lives on".

So I agreed.

But I contacted OM and made it very clear that ANY threat through cointact or not to Squid or my family again would result in shock and awe tactics in response from me.

He dumped Squid brutally and finally next day.

When his GF still kept in contact with me I was delighted to hear that he feared me, flinched when the phone rang with a 'number withheld'caller or the door knocked late at night. Some karate champion huh ?

Sadly, its my guess he doesn't have quite the same response nowadays, but if he is wise its at the back of his mind.

That one or many OPs are repentant and sorry is a credit to those individuals, but my own OM would have to earnestly apologise to ME for me to consider forgiving him.

Blaming makes everyone powerless. It only takes you further into "the pit." Blaming and feeling are not equal.
Hiker

What on EARTH does this mean ? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Identifying and attributing blame is CENTRAL to the tenets of civilised justice on earth ! Even GOD requires that sinners accept blame and repent to move on and be forgiven.

Blaming are feeling are not equal ? eh ?

Now then Hiker, from what I have learned of you this past week I am guessing you are APPALLED by this philistine behaviour of mine, and wonder why I can't just get on with recovery and let bygones be bygones and letting OM off the hook without giving him the hatred and the kicking he so richly deserves.

Hiker You have this week expressed a non-MB dislike for exposure, a defence of WS that 'not all of them are foggy' yet explained in another thread how you lied and obfuscated facts to your FBS and now infer FBS should be nice to OPs .

Exposure works and the fact that it stings you is a testament to its effectiveness I'd say. I never met a turkey that liked christmas.

You say certainly that you weren't foggy, but desperate lying , witholding of information and rewriting the facts IS fog, and you ADMIT to this ! Fog is a name for the perceived collection of illogic and bullsh*t that BS experiences in virtually every case. It my guess that your attempts to cover your tracks seemed like Fog to your BS.

And I have no axe to grind with FOPs in general. I know how hard that F is to earn and I have nothing but respect for repentant affairees. After all Squid was the OW to OM GF.

But in my own case my soul YEARNS to do him physical damage. It could be the streak of unreconstructed silverback in me, but it feels RIGHT and PROPER for me to hate OM, and justice will not be served until I feel his flesh yield.

And Hiker, the BH in your case has EVERY RIGHT to feel EXACTLY the same about you. You can divert blame all you want but YOU screwed another mans wife and he will probably hate you for it for the rest of his or your life.

Like you I hope he has forgiven his FWW and the enormous damage YOU were 50% responsible for is being repaired.

Hiker, sorry if this looks like I'm picking on you but your advice to vulnerable newbie BS was unhelpful and incorrect IMO, and says more about your own ecovery than either theirs or MB tenets.

I applaud your efforts and success in recovery, but in the same way that I do not feel equipped to help in advising new WS, and so stay away, perhaps you could stay off new BS threads or at least espouse MB-supported principles when you do.

If you want to fight me, do so here, so we don't threadjack anymore.

All blessings. Really <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Bob