So how are you doing now? Hope you are doing okay.

I think this is really f'ed up!

I would like to deal with this asap, but I dont' think those emails I posted are conclusive enough. (I did copy them to a different file, just in case they get deleted.)

So, according to one of those messsages, she probably won't talk to him until monday. I don't want to wait all weekend simmering like this, but I really don't want to bring this up again until I have more evidence...

Anyone have any other good tracking ideas? I probably have his cell phone number, but cell phone numbers are really hard to trace on the internet.

Gramn I responded to you on EN. Read Wat's guidelines...they're great...and the information I posted is important too.

I know waiting this out is difficult...but unless you are certain....I think you should. When you talk to his wife...you need real proof so that he can't lie his way out if it either...yanno?

I know... It's just hard to wait...
(I read Wat's thing a couple times too)

I'm supposed to help some of my best friends move Saturday.

I'm planning to take my daughter to a family graduation Sunday.

I wonder if I should change my plans somehow? These activities will keep me away from my W for a while... Or maybe I should just confide in these friends, relatives.
I guess maybe I'll say something to my friends, but not anything about this affair...

It's going to be REALY hard to try and meet her emotional needs while this $#!t is going on...

Gramn chere....since the mods may come in and edit your language....do a little self moderating with the edit button on the top of your posts. Replace a few letters...without losing the meaning and that should be fine okay? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I'm not usually a foul mouthed person, but as I said, I'm feeling pretty F'ed up right now...

Don't apologize chere!! Most of us have been there....and I'll admit right now I cursed like a sailor *blush*!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

It seems clear that your wife is involved in at least an EA with the Y GUY.

Follow WAT's GUIDELINES. They were a GODSEND to me. I read them over and over.

Knowledge is power to you. Get as much information as you can. Expose. Expose.

Make sure to find out who this guy is...

I'm not familiar with Lisa Loeb but I found these lyrics to one of her songs....There is a reference to "IF" in the refrain...

Kick Start Lyrics
Artist: Lisa Loeb (Buy Lisa Loeb CDs)
Album: Cake And Pie



We need a kick start
We need a quick solution
We need a next step
If we're really going
If we're really going

We sit on our couch
While we watch our TV
And the phone doesn't ring
And it's perfect

To be here playing house
Is no comfort to me
It's just more of the same
Again and again and again

We need a kick start
We need a quick solution
We need a next step
If we're really going
If we're really going




Trying so hard
To dig ourselves out
Cause we're stuck and we're scared
And we're thinking
Things have to change
It's the thoughts that don't count
Can something be done?
Don't let this decision drag on

We need a kick start
We need a quick solution
We need a next step
If we're really going
If we're really going

We need a big push
To reach the right conclusion
So we can get there
If we're really going
If we're really going
Let's go.

We need a quick solution
We need a next step
To reach the right conclusion
We need a kick start
We need a kick start

I am sorry, Gramm. Stick around here. We can help you with this.....

Gramn, whatever you do, DO NOT confront your W yet! If you do, you will only lose your only opportunity to find out if they are having an affair. You need to wait until you have irrefutable proof in those emails, ok? And then, you confront her. And THEN you tell the OM's wife and alert his boss. But do not show your hand until you have a full house or you will lose the card game!

Do you think they are talking on the phones? If it is a land line, you can tap the phone.

Do you have spyware on your computer? Or did you just hack into an email account?

I just wanted to reinforce what has already been said. Do not move out of the house!! In addition to making it easier for her to continue her affair, in some states that can be considered abandonment, which could be used against you in a custody battle (should one arise).

Mel:

Why do you say, If they are having an A?

I say he has proof of an Emotional Affair. He needs proof of a Physical Affair.

I think Gramm needs to take some time off from work without his wife knowing.

Maybe show up at the Y....

Mimi, what proof of an emotional affair does he have? I haven't seen it. If he had that proof he could confront her now. But, he doesn't really even know what is going on at this point.

maybe I misread. What about the E-mails from or to Y Guy? Check out the words to the Lisa Loeb song....

Mimi, I think she probably is having an affair, but those emails don't tell that story. I think he should hold out for better evidence.

Gramn,

If you and your W haven't had sex in quite a while, you may want to consider purchasing and using one of those semen detection kits and check your W's underwear for signs of semen . If the results are positive then you have the proof you need to confront both your W and OM's W.

IF this comes to pass, and you are afraid you may not be able to keep your cool when you confront your W, then consider having someone you trust to be with you and who can help you keep you to keep your emotions in check. After all, if you want to save/rebuild your marriage, the last thing you want to do is sabotage your own hard efforts with LB [love busters].

TMCM

Gramm,

I didn't get what your W's email was about. This ones for you? Was that it or did the blank lines mean there was more? Those are pretty sugary sweet emails from the yguy.

There is a voice activated recorder that some folks will hide in the car to listen to cell phone conversations of the suspected.

Sounds like you won't have long to wait to get the proof you need from the emails. That's what led to my Dday..last Memorial Day, gosh almost a year. How time flies.

When it is time to expose to yguy's spouse DO NOT tell your W before you do it. Most times the WS will warn the lover, then he tells his spouse that a crazy man may be calling and to just hang up on him.

I would not talk to anyone about even a hint of what is going on until you have proof. You may wish to keep it private then also. If NC occurrs imediately and she finds another health club, and she is very remorseful and wants to rebuild the M, then the less people that know about it the better.

If they refuse to end the relationship, then exposure to an ever widening orbit of friends and family must be done to end the A. Starting with MS. yguy.

You actually have the upper hand in this drama, knowing what you already know. Keep cool and collected and wait for your full house.

k

I did not know that "IF" was referring to a Lisa Loeb Song... Interesting lyrics. (She's never mentioned that song to me) She was recently listening to a new Loeb album. I thought that maybe she loaned it to YGuy. (I was thinking of saying "honey, where is that new Loeb, CD, I want to listen to it.")


I installed spyware and the next day, my spyware showed me that she had sent this guy an email from a new email account. The Message "This one is just for you" means (to me) that this email account is private and only for him and her to corespond with. I had previously told her that I looked at her web log and emails. The next day, she deleted a message from this guy in her normal account, and apparently set up this new account to correspond with him.


TODAY'S NEWS:
She went shopping.
She bought herself new sexy underwear. She also bought me some new underwear too. (As a cover?)

Cell phone bill.
I discovered today, that she changed our cell phone billing instructions. Instead of them sending us a paper bill, now they will send us an E-statement directly to her new/secret account!!

She checked the secret account, but YGuy hadn't sent anything. I think he is away for the weekend, maybe with his wife.

So, are you two still having SF?

LOL, NO! Before this all started, she had a really low interest in sex. I partially blamed her medication. She was first on Prozac, it helped her moods, but she was totally uninterested in sex. At one point she let her perscriptioon run out. She was CRAZY, but also interested in sex again. We switched her to Zoloft. Again, not much interest in sex. She doesn't want me to initiate it, and she VERY RARELY wants to. Like, averaging monthly... A week ago, she tried again and we had a few encounters. They were enjoyable, but she was not able to climax.

A few days later, all of this started...

Well, it could be the drugs. I think some Anti-D's do interfere with desire and the ability to climax.

Do you have any idea why she was depressed?