Good thinking! Got your digital camera ready just in case?

now that would have been a good idea!! I'll get it if possible, this time or if not I'll be ready next time...

P.S. I did not say anything to her about the thong. That was one of those things that is hard not to comment on...

Gramn:

Where is your baby during your wife's workout?

There's no reason for you not to go by the Y to pick up your child.

How about a Y Membership for yourself?

If you can stay cool, I don't see any problems with you dropping by the Y.

Mel, what do you think about this?

You need more intel, my man. start using some of the great technology we have today. semen detection kits for those nice bright thong underwear. Tracker devices for her car, so you can find out her routine and then be there when/if her and y boy head off somewhere secluded. it will also help you save money on a PI, as you can tell PI her routine and he will only go out (and bill you) for those times that he needs to be out.

Have a friend/relative go to the Y and work out for a week. Get one of those week long trial deals. And then have them (it will have to be someone she doesnt know) see what's up there when she is there. The gym is where my wife met the OM.

More intel my man. Those semen detection kits are great!

One more thing...do not leave the house and do not let your baby go either. I kept my kids as I wouldnt let them go with her. And the fog was so thick, she thought she could go out, have her fun, build her life, and then come back and get the kids. well, when it finally went to court, I got custody. That finally woke her up. Anyway, you are the only sane one there. Do not let your child go with a slightly off center woman.

Need more advice on how to get more intel, let me know.

In His arms.

I work during the day. While Wife plays raquetball, or attends dance classes, the baby is in the Y's "Child watch" room. They have toys and other little kids in there, being supervised.

The reason I have not gotten a Y membership is because our budget is stretched too much already. (I run or bike outside) At this point, I highly question that decision though. I could stop by and look around, but unless I found a smoking gun, she'll either see me, or someone will mention to her that her husband was there looking around....

I was thinking of that "Semen Detection Kit." I assume that is something I could find online?

One reason I have not bought some of these new-fangled gadgets is that she will see them on the bank statement or the credit card bill.

If you don't have a digital camera with you, grab a disposable at the drug store. You can get one for about $5.

Mimi and Mortarman had some other great ideas I hope you look into.

This is exactly what I meant, Gramn, "stopping there and looking around". Actually, it would be best if she did not see you. I would make sure to stop off to check on my baby.

A WARRIOR IS COURAGEOUS!!

Think of the Y-GUY as a drug dealer. You want to keep your wife away from the source, make it hard for her to get her supply right now. It's OK if they get desperate.

This is what I was thinking of, but the chance of being seen and recognised is about 100%. I could not go looking around without being seen by the front desk employees who know me.

I'll try to think of something...

Then give cash to a relative or friend. You can have delivered to their house. And let them order on the card.

Here is the website of a good one... click here

After she gets home tonight, hide her underwear and order the kit. You can even have the kit sent next day air. Then test. If it is positive, then you can provide a sample, as well as her underwear to the DNA testing site they are linked to. They will send back a report confirming or denying if the semen in her underwear is yours.

Then, you have what you need!!! Then you can hire the PI or do your own PI work and get her caught. Once you have the evidence, do not tell her yet. Come here and we will help you in how to use it.

Also, you need to learn to bluff. like poker. Not lie...bluff. This is where you will only let out little bits of info, but she will think you have a whole lot more. I can help you with that. but right now, get the info, and get proof. Then we will move on to phase two. Plan A her in the meantime. If you keep quiet about this for now, they will think you have taken her excuses and they will get sloppy.

Of course, there is probably nothing PA goingon at the Y. But, the time to catch her is afterwards. So, that is why the tracker is so good. You can order them online. Some will let you see exactly where she is at from your computer. Then you can go there and get pictures. Others (which are cheaper) record themselves and then you have to take it off the car and download to your computer. Not realtime info, but can help you find a pattern of when and where she goes so you can maximise your time.

Then it might be time to take a little leave from work, but you head out like you are going to work. And then do your intel gathering.

Get with it NOW. If he is back, this week will be the BEST time you have to get the goods on her.

In His arms.

In His arms.

I don't think it's a problem for them to see you. You are making your presence known. Marking off your territory! Stay away from MY WOMAN! I'm watching YOU! You don't have to explain this to the front desk staff. They probably would be more supportive of you..... What you are doing will gain everyone's respect!!!

I don't want to accuse this guy, until I at least present my proof to my wife. Without proof, they will become even more secretive and this will be harder to prove! Now, there are plenty of times that I can go to the Y legitimately, I'll take better advantage of them.
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Well, whether it was a good try, or I almost made an [censored] out of myself, here is what I just did...

Left work with the office's digital camera. I drove to the Y and parked where my car would not be seen. Then I went and checked out my wife's car, which was there, but empty. Then I went into the foyer of the building where I could get a good view. Nothing. I went to several windows or doors that afforded me good views. Nothing. SO, this proved nothing really.

I could not see the dance class rooms or raquetball courts without being seen.
I need a better plan next time. I'm known by a lot of people there. She has told all of her friends there that we are "seperated". So, if any of them see me, it will surely get back to her. This is a tough situation. My other idea was just to sit in the car as a stake out, but I don't know exactly what time they leave, or even if that would reveal anything.

If they are sneaking off and meeting, where would they go to do it? Are you still planning on going home early to see what is there? Anyway you could stake out your house to see if he comes there?

Well, I may be wrong, but I think that they are NOT going to "do" anything during the day. I think she will set up a cover story and meet him at night. For instance, she recently went out for drinks with coworkers after her job got out at 7 PM. MAYBE that is truthful, but that is the type of event that would be hard to check on.

Or she likes to have "Girls Night OUt" with her friends every few weeks. That is fine, but that would be a good chance to pretend that she is out with her girlfriends (especially if they cover for her).

OR, if I am out, she could have someone over while the baby is asleep or whatever. Of course, this is all speculation.

P.S. I will still go home for lunch. I REALLY have to eat! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It is great that you have taken on this mission, GRAMN.

Sooner or later you will find something.

Sooner or later you will bring an end to this.

This is a WAR that they can't win if you remain vigilant!

Okay...dont look at your current effort as a failure. what have you learned? You learned that her car was there, and that when you went inside you didnt find her in the main areas. Which leaves two choices? First, that she was in the classroom and you couldnt see her without her seeing you. Or second, she left the building, leaving her car there. See what I mean? You got more intel that you needed.

So, how do you find out which one is true? You could get someoen to go inside, someone she doesnt know...and check. Or, you could stake out the front of the building for as long as it takes, and see if she comes out of the Y, or if she comes rolling back in with someone else.

If the second thing is true, and she rolls back in with the Y Boy, then another question to ask...where is your child? Did she leave her in the daycare while they ran down the street for a little quicky?? If so, you can take pictures of this event and document it. Judges will not look highly on her abandoning her child in order to get sex. It will help you to get custody, if it goes to that.

In all of this, document everything!! It will help you get a clear sense of what is going on, and where should head next. I used to read all of my documentation twice a week, just to keep me on track.

So, my advice is to take some time off work...and stake the place out. determine her schedule and where she is going...and with WHOM!! Once you have that, then we can help you take the next step.

But you started off well, my man. Keep it up. Those in an affair are always sloppy...always think they wont be caught.

Also, remember, do not tell her of any intel you have until coming here and talking to us. You will want to hit her over the head, so to speak, with the intel when you first find out the truth. Do not do this. remian calm and come here. If you stay intelligent on this, how you react and deal with what you discover just may save your marriage. but if you act poorly, you will push her toward the OM if there is one. And if there isnt yet, you may push her toward having one.

In His arms.

Such a tricky job. I know that the childcare thing at the Y is just for people who are working out there, NOT for people to drop off their kids and take off. So, I don't THINK she'd leave.

I fully realize that new underwear does not = sex. But this whole thing is driving me crazy. Tonight she works 5-8 so maybe I can do some checking around then...

It WOULD be great if I had someone at the Y who would tell me about her actions, and I do know a number of people there, but I don't know if I can trust any of them. Several of her friends there are multiple-times divorced.

I think if they are going to do anything, it would be TODAY, since she hasn't seen him in a week. Gramm, any chance you can stake her out today?

I agree with MEL!

Today is definitely the day.

Call the Y and ask to speak with the Y GUY to see if he's there!!

If he's not while your W's car is parked there, time to get your hands on that thong after she's changed for work. Actually from my experience, you don't necessarily need a kit to detect semen...

I know this feels awful to you Gramn.

However, you will find that KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. It feels better than anxiety and uncertainty....