I don't get the sense that your counselor knows how to handle such situations well. Is the counselor experienced? I don't think I would trust this counselor. That's my opinion. Isn't there a possibility that the counselor would say: "Go ahead and separate, she doesn't love you anymore!" YUK!! I'm not even sure I would go back to that counselor. That's my view.

I don't know about exposure yet either. You might want to wait some more and get some more information from E-Mails. Sounds like your WW is getting desperate and will get more sloppy about this.

Gramm, I still think that you need to lay low. I am thinking that you need to appear that you are no longer actively trying to find out what she is doing until you get the goods on her. which means, tell no one that might have contact with her and might spill the beans. That includes the counselor. I agree with all above that she is likely to be setting something up this week, maybe even today. You are going to have to get busy and make sure you cover her every move. Yo ucan have one of those trackers sent overnight. Or, just have her tailed. Either way, you have to get more evidence before going public. Which includes confronting her, or reminding her about her vows. You need not want to scare them into hiding what they are doing. You need them to think the coast is clear.

Save all of these emails. The ywill come in handy later, as support in fighting for your marriage...and in court if it goes that way.

You must be smart here. Keep Plan Aing her. Try to meet her needs. And get the intel you need. Might be time to use a little of that vacation time you have saved up, get a different car that you can borrow from a family member or friend, and go find out what is going on.

Your wife is in trouble. You must gather the intel that will help you save her. Develop a plan right now for this week. One where you can cover her every move. And dont argue for your limitations. Find the slutions. Make it work.

Then bring the intel back here, and we can help you with the battle plan.

In His arms.

This councillor is very experienced. He looks like the guy who played "Count Duuku" in the new Star Wars movies.

He was reccomended to us by another couple we know. He helped save their marriage.

Marriages that involve infidelity are different! There's lots of research to support that.

I agree T-totally with Mortarman.

I would not inform this counselor particularly given what he told you last time you spoke with him.

I would recommend staying on her tail like MM says.

Your WW is in trouble because it sounds like this Y GUY is using her for his FUN. She is even calling herself a "teenager".

Stay in the fignt, GRAMN.

Well, I can keep trying to tail her.

It's hard to know where to go or what to do.

I think the perfect time that she could try something is Wed night. She is planning a "Girls Night Out". That seems like a convenient excuse.

Agree with the others, don't tell anyone anything yet. Just quietly gather evidence. When the time is right, we will help you handle it the most effective way.

You might want to hire a PI. Might be more helpful than the counseling session this week.

Gramm, you just don't know how lucky you are to have Mimi and Mortarman both posting to you. They are both supremely strategic and creative in sleuthing and busting up an affair. Please, listen to what they have to say, because they have both been through this and have great experience. You are in darn good hands.

And I very much agree about taking your counseling money and spending it on something worthwhile, like a P.I.m Finding out the truth will be much more conducive to busting up an affair than most counselors. In fact, most counselors are not even pro-marriage. Counseling is pretty much useless when one partner is in an active affair.

I agree that the councilling could be useless at this point, but I'm worried that cancelling the session could tip my hand. Maybe I should just postpone it?

OK, Tonight she is at work.
I looked around here and found that she threw out the box for those Vaginal Film things. But she kept the ones that were in the box. Also, 2 seem to have been used and the packages thrown away. Meaning, there are only 5 left out of 12.

I got freaked out by that and called her work. They said that she IS there. She called back and said to quit checking up on her, again... I have to have more important things to say when I make these calls...

Why not just say that you don't think counseling is useful right now?


And why can't you turn the tables on her and say something like: "why are you so defensive when I call you? Do you have something to hide?"

She is trying to manipulate you into not checking up on her by making you feel guilty. Don't FALL FOR IT!

I don't understand the meaning of the vaginal film thing? Are those some type of birth control? Does this mean she has some of them in her purse?

Vaginal film is a spermicide, MEL.

Oh, Gramn. I'm so sorry.

Try to keep this information to yourself and stay calm.

Hire your PI and go ahead and gather your proof. They probably have something set up for Wednesday. Be prepared to catch them.

She's getting nervous and wants you to back off so Wednesday can happen.

She knows you know about them and yet still takes some out. Could it just be an attempt to play mind games with you knowing that you check the box?? Just a thought.

Seems like she was trying to hide these Flynn.

She is not aware that Gramn was checking on the film.

I remember Gramn confronting her earlier about finding the box with one missing and her stating that the box says to try them out first. Something like that. But your right she may be hiding them now.

This was previously posted
5-25?
After being advised to take a I look, i snoop at her email & visited web pages...
I CONFRONT HER:
* She has used 3 Vaginal Film patches although we have not had ANY sex since she bought them. She claims that she was testing them... The directions suggest trying a few of these before actualy having sex.

I'm sorry I missed this, Flynn.

However, her response is ridiculous. Typical WS deception. She's not having SF with her H so in her free time she tries out vaginal film?

I think there are more normal things to do in your free time.

PLEASE... Testing out vaginal fim before having sex... LOL

Oh dear, that was a weak excuse!

Thanks for paying attention to all of my [email]Cr@P.[/email]

OK, so now she called me from work and says that she might go meet a girlfriend afterwork for a drink who is having problems too.

I am stuck home with the baby and no car that has a car seat.
I'm just so TIRED of all of this. This is driving me crazy...
Maybe she really is seeing her friend tonight. Who the he!! can tell?

Can't you get a sitter?

Maybe I could get a sitter, but to go where?