I just did that... Here is the entire conversation, with both participants, and some spelling fixes...

Any help getting the whole thing translated would be much appreciated. I get the meaning of a lot of it, but want to be sure...
W = Wife
A= Her "Single-Mother" Aunt
-------------------------------------------------------------

W- hole

A- mi linda!!! hola

W- como estas, como seguiste y como sigue mi taita

A- tu taita esta agorita mismo en la doctor, sigue re brotado y con piquina que lo enloquece

A- y yo bien ya mis amigdalas no me enloquecen

W- que bien, mi papa si me tiene preocupada

A- a todos. La abue, la mama, las tias y todos estuvimos re pendientes de la evolucion el fin de semana, hoy le he rogadfp que se vaya para le casa y se

empelote, pero ni de rodillas lo convenso... es que el es terco y se rasca demasiadisimo

W- me imagino, si es como un bebe con los dedos no me imagino como sera con una rasquina bien horrible

A- exacto, bueno y de tu que como vas?

A- me contaron que estabas donde los papas de DAD/HUSBAND, como to fue

W- nooooooo

W- DAD/HUSBAND fue con DAUGHTER, yo no

W- que tal

W- suficiente tengo con contestar el telefono cuando llama mi patetica dramtica suegra

W- por aqui todo va lento pero tengo mi primera cita con el abogado el jueves

A- a el papa me dijo que estabas tu tambien, a mi si me parecio bastante extrano pero bueno me dije a mi misma mi misma como esta de civilizada mi

sobrinta

W- y mientras tanto como si no fuera suficiente con lo que esta pasando, encima estoy mas embobada con este otro hombre que ni se diga

A- como asi, cada vez peor?

W- el enamoramiento, si

A- bueno y donde dejamos el periodo de relajacion para que la separacion nos salga como es debido?

W- ni idea, lo malo es que el tambien dice estar enamoradisimo

W- por lo menos lo mio ya esta en marcha y me he convencido de que asi tenga a mi viejo nuevo o no, prefiero estar sola a estar en esta situacion

W- y como vas con tu catano?

A--bueno muneca, mi catano divino

W- lo conozco??

A--no se ...bueno al agua se llama Carlos A. Sanchez, alias el calvo

W- hmmm, nombre tan comun, no se, a lo mejor si lo veo
W- y es papito?

W- o abuelito en este caso?

W- jeje

W- claro. cerra esto

W- hola papi

W- que te dijo elmedico

A--esta es nuevo
A--te lo paso?

W- le estoy hablando por el de el

W- listo chao

W- yo a tu

Gramn:

Well, I can't help with the spanish (never even BEEN 2 Spain!), but I remembered something that Spacecase put on our iloveulove page about James Bond types:

"James Bond: Spies & Lies

He won’t tell you where he lives. She will give you only a work number. He’s evasive about his history, friends, job and background. A year after you marry her, you find out she’s been married before. A mistress shows up. You find bills for credit cards you didn’t know you had.

Secrets and the lies that support them make it very hard to make an emotional connection. In part that’s because the secrets create a wall. In part it’s also because the secrets take a lot of energy to maintain and that energy is stolen from having a relationship with a person.

James Bonds are secret-keepers who withhold information from people with whom they are in a relationship. Sometimes this is because they believe the secrets give them power or an illusion of mystery and excitement; other times it is because the revelation of the secrets will end the relationship and they won’t get what they want-the reason for keeping secrets in the first place.

When you get into a relationship with a James Bond, you may enjoy the mystery at first. It’s kind of exciting not to know when he or she will suddenly appear to sweep you into whatever passed for his or her Aston Martin or private jet and then just as suddenly disappear again.

As the relationship moves along, however, predictability becomes more important and desirable to you, but the James Bond has no interest in being trapped by your rational expectation of continuity in the relationship.

You begin to snoop. Bond leaves you alone in the car or the apartment for a few minutes, and your fingers stray to the glove compartment or desktop. You hate yourself for what you’re doing, but you can’t stop. Bills, letters, scraps with phone numbers-a flood of information without explanation. What you’re looking for are the missing pieces of James Bond’s life that you don’t get to know. The problem is that you have no threads to weave into a fabric of truth. All you have is scraps that have no clear meaning.

Or, worse perhaps, you DO find something; a breathless love letter you didn’t write, a sexy card you didn’t send, a photo that isn’t you. Now what do you do? Now you have information and a whole new conundrum. In order to confront James Bond with the information, you have to admit you’ve been snooping. Then Bond has the perfect out: he or she can get mad at you for snooping, and never have to own up to the rest of it.

The other thing that happens is that you lose trust completely. Being in a relationship with someone you don’t trust isn’t being in a relationship at all. It begins to undermine your trust in yourself as well and that undermines your self-image, which makes you more vulnerable, which undermines your self-confidence-you can see the descending spiral here.

Meanwhile, James Bond isn’t making any changes. The secrets and lies continue, surrounded by denials and protestations of honesty or indignation that you would even suspect him or her of not being completely truthful.

James Bond has difficulty with both truth and honesty, which makes trust impossible.

The sad thing is that even if he or she changes completely, it’s still really hard to build trust because of the history. So you get more and more suspicious and less and less trusting while James continues along the self-focused path of getting his or her needs met above all else.

When the situation (we can’t really call this a relationship) finally blows up-and these relationships almost invariably blow up rather than fade away-your ability to trust anyone blows right with it. The next person who comes into your life will be under the microscope, and that is a very uncomfortable spot for anyone. The new potential partner often departs to avoid being distrusted at every turn."

- "How to Recognize Emotional Unavailability and Make Healthy Relationship Choices" - Bryn Collins


-ol' 2long

2Long-- Intersting article, but it does not really fit us.

For the last 5 years we've been together and trusted one another. I have always trusted heer, and I think she's trusted me. And if I ever snooped in her stuff for some reason, it always came out exactly as it should be.

BUT NOW, she thinks I'm snooping and doesn't trust that. I know she's doing things behing my back, and I dont trust her. It's really sad...

Gramn,
I don't have time now to do the whole translation, but basically in the first part they talk about her uncle ho has some skin condition probably which he scratches. then the aunt asks her how her things are and she says that she's ging to see a lawyer on thursday and the aunt says thatW's father told her about that and she says she thought how civilized her niece had become...
then WW says :
and as if what's going on isn't enough I'm more more fascinated with this guy

and the aunt asks : what's worse?
and she answers the fascination (feelings)

and the aunt asks: so where is the "reaxing" period so that the separation works out well?
WW: no idea. the bad thing is that he says he's very much in love too.
At least I've started doing something and I've convinced myself that whether or not I get my new guy, I'd rather be alone than in this situation.


the rest of the conversation is about the aunt's "catano", which I deduce may be a lover or friend. In thsi case he's the guy mentioned by name.
the question about the doctor is made to the aunt.


have to go to work but will check back later

Thanks for the info. I was wondering how the Doctor fit in. (I'm not aware of my Wife talking to any doctor...)

----------------------------------------------------
Last night, Wife took a pregnancy test claiming that she was worried from our last time(about a month ago?) It was negative, so didn't come to anything or really proove much.

When I went to bed, I wasn't sure how I'd proceed today. I wanted to make today D-Day, but was thinking that I needed more proof... BUT, this morning...

Wife hops online and sends a message while I was brushing my teeth or something... A few minutes later, she takes a shower and I check it out...

(Paraphrasing)

From: Wife
To: Y Guy

I had an AMAZING time with you last night. And, see, everything is OK, I took a TEST. I told you not to worry.

Thinking of you...

-------------------------------------------------------

THAT should be enough proof. I can't drag this out any more. I now have proof of an emotional and physical affair.

I'm not sure that this will help my crumbling marriage, but I damn well want to break this up...

Any advice on how I should proceed today??!

Yikes! You must be upset right now. Have you thought how you are going to contact the Y guy's wife?

That is what I would do.

I've got his home phone number. I hope she's a stay at home type person. I didn't find any other records of her...

Taking the pregnancy test means the PA has been going on for awhile. She wouldn't just take it the next morning.

It also means she is having unprotected sex with you and the OM. Yuck. You need to protect yourself.

I would inform the OM's wife today. She can watch him while you are gone. Also I would let the Y know.

That's absolutely enough in my mind at least. I'm sorry you're going through this, but I would agree that you've got the evidence you need...all of it added together.

You're suggesting to tell his wife and the Y, but not to inform my wife yet?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Was she out last night?

I am with OWL, you have the goods. Are you ready to launch the nuke?

Gramn -

When you tell your wife, she will deny it, and make up some excuse. I had the motel bills, and even caught my WH and OW in bed. WH STILL denied it. But it was all the proof I needed.

Your wife is obviously in fantasyland. I would inform the OM's wife today, and also let the Y know. Your wife will be furious, but they all are when caught. She'll get over it, and hopefully the A will end when exposed.

--She was working last night until 8... But she stayed after for about 1/2 hour?!

I called the OM's house, and he picked up! Maybe he has the day off? I just said "wrong number"... Not very smooth, but seemingly didn't tip him off.

He is the CEO of this Y! I'd like to contact his boss, but I have no idea who that is!

I agree with the need to tell the wife first. Today. Then you and the Y GUY's wife can work together. If she is a SAHM, she certainly doesn't want him to lose his job at the Y.

ok, Gramm, lets talk about this. First off, I think you should put together a pecking order of exposure here.

I would suggest the following order:

1. OM's W. You want to get to her before her H does.
Call the Y and ask what time YGuy will be there and then call his wife when you know he is gone

2. IMMEDIATELY afterwards, confront your W. Tell her you KNOW she is having an affair with the OM and that she was with him last night. DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR SOURCE, just tell her that you have someone watching her. Tell her you don't have to prove what you both know is true. Tell her you have also told the OM's wife about their affair.

3. Call the Y and get the names and #s of the board members. Tell them that Yguy is having an affair with your W and it is breaking up your family. You don't appreciate it one bit and wonder if they would like this information to get out?

I think you are ready to launch to nuke, HOWEVER, it will be a terrible time to expose if you are leaving town tomorrow. When will you be back?

Now, lets think through possible reactions. She will likely be furious about all this and attack you for checking up on her. [tell her she was being dishonest with you so you are justified in checking up on her - don't let her guilt you with this nonsense, ok?]

She may threaten to leave and take the baby. Let her know that she cannot take your baby. Tell her that you love her and want your marriage to work, but you won't stop her from leaving. Tell her also that you will do what it takes to save your marriage.

Do not let her take your baby
Do not leave your home
Do not let her bait you into a fight

Be calm, calm, calm, and FIRM in your resolve.

I agree T-totally with Mel!

I will be here listening and praying for you!

Any chance you can postpone your trip due to a family emergency?

This trip is for an interview, so no, I can't postpone it. I could postpone this confrontation, but that will just leave me stressed out about this from now until monday night! It would also leave my fresh dirt, not so recent...

On the other hand, if I drop this bomb then take off, that is not so good either...

I called the Y again. He is there...

So, maybe I should go for the spouse now... Argh, so many factors.

Melody is right. Time to launch. That last email sealed the deal. You wont need to get pictures now.

I want to add something here. First off, get a notebook and keep at work. Everyday, write in it everything said and done, starting with the last week. Everyday, write in this journal. Why? Because if this thing goes to court, that journal will be HUGE to determining what's what. Also, document everything you do with your child. And I would even step up the amount of contact and things you do with her/him. Document EVERYTHING!! Take this from a guy that had to go thru this.

An example...you go to court and bring up this recent email about the test. Your wife's lawyer has an "explanation" for it...but syays she wasnt talking about a pregnancy test. Then your lawyer whips out your journal where you describe how she told you that she was taking the pregnancy test that evening. Do you see? Cover your bases.

Why am I talking about court? Because, first off, since your wife is in an affair, your first responsibility is to protect that child! You need to have custody, you need to protect her/him. Second, the more you hem her in, the more likely this affair will blow wide open. When the secrecy is over, when EVERYTHING is out in the open, when she is about to lose her child, lose her means of income from you, her house, when the OM is about to be taken to the cleaners by his wife, when there is pressure from the Y HQ on him because he is sleeping with a married woman he met there...this thing is going to blow up in their faces!! They are going to run scared.

They will turn to each other for help...but the other cant help them. They will both be too busy with their own problems.

This is why you must have everything in a row before you launch the nuke!! Have your attorney ready with the paperwork. Do not launch the nuke today, before you go out of town. You may come home to a empty house, your child gone and a court order to stay away.

Like I said, your marriage wont be over if you launch paperwork first. It will actually help it, because you will force it into an arena where you control the decisions and outcomes. She will fight for awhile. But once she realizes she cant win...most surrender.

You stay cool and collected during all of this. Stay calm. Right now, she has betrayed you and you feel helpless. Well, guess what? The tables are about to turn for you and her. Once you launch, if you have ALL of your ducks in a row (to include a daycare plan for your child if you do get temporary custody), you will be calling the shots from here on out. You will feel power come back into your life.

But I caution you. If you take that power and use it to try to destroy your wife, God will not help you. And you will make sure that she never comes home. The power I talk about is boundaries. You will have the legal and financial set-up, along with the exposure to the entire community, that says to your wife "I will not condone this. This is inappropriate and immoral, and I will not condone this. Thus, I have done these steps in order to protect myself, our family and our future. The next step will be yours, WW. If you want to fight all of this, then I am prepared to go that route and meet any offensive you might take. But, I would rather you come home and let us work on our marriage and find our future together. But either way, WW, you must understand, from this point on...I will not stand by and allow this to continue."

Are you ready? You have enough to blow the doors right off of this thing (although, I still say the pictures would be great for exposing to the community). Spen these next days getting all of the things you need. Have your attorney get things ready. Set up things so if she bolts, you can take care of your daughter (do NOT let her leave with your kid!!). Get all the info on the Y board, on the OMW, on where to go to expose this even more. Shoot, I even had a plan where friends of mine would picket the business that my wife's OM ran, with signs for everyone to see about how the manager of this business was helping to destroy a family.

Have EVERYTHING together BEFORE you launch. Yo uare going to want to go off on her tonight. I know. You need restraint right now. Get that journal and start writing. Do these other things TODAY! Have your plan, just like a battle plan we use in the military, on when and where you will strike.

Exposure should happen all at once. A letter to the Y board should go out the same day you talk to OMW. Then talk to your wife. Then you and baby leave for a little while to let the steam wear off...as you contact her parents. and begin to contact others in the community to expose. When you come back home, be prepared to take a few days off in order to protect your kid. Depending on her reaction, I would probably launch at least the temporary custody paperwork the same day as exposure.

All of this will hit her, and the OM...very hard and all at once. They will not know what to do. They do not have a plan. They will not expect all of this.

Plan it all out now. Do not make the mistake of launching early or ill-prepared. Dont do it. Look your kid in the eyes and promise him/her that you will do this. You are trying to protect him/her. And trying to help save her family and her mother. That's what did it for me. When I looked at my three kids, it all became very clear on what I had to do.

In His arms.