I think the Y GUY has reason to be anxious about being sued by you.

The lawyer probably will caution you but that is their job. They dont tell you what to do but rather tell you what could happen. I found them to be pretty worthless as far as offering advice.

I like you had a million other things going on. We were supposed to close on a house 2 weeks after D-Day. Well I obviously didnt do that and we got sued. On top of everything else I had to deal with that WW was a basket case and offered 0 help. A chance to shine as it turned out.

One minute the lawyer is telling me to protect my assets and not buy the house the next he is telling me I may want to settle cause they could wipe me out. And I payed for this "advice". In the end it was my decision to threated a long drawn out judgement and ultimately declare bancruptcy if I lost. No one wins. I felt bad for the other couple but I had to do what was right for me. I lost the earnest money and had lawyer fees but minimized my losses.

You may provoke Y guy but dont be threatened into backing down. You are only fighting for your family. What you are saying is TRUE proven and admitted. You are not threatening anyone you just want the Y to uphold their mission when someone has grossly abused it.

Yes there is a minor element of revenge but I do not think you are doing this to spite him or drive him into the ground. You want to end this. In order to do that you have to hit this on both sides. If he is too busy dealing with his wife and his job he does not have the extra time necessary to deal with your wife. She is a burden.

ultimately do you really care if he loses his job. He may, he may not. You just need to run interferance so the reality of their actions is exposed. These are all consequences of their actions. Let the chips fall where they may you just keep fighting for your family.

Like I told my wife. If OM was standing with me along side a cliff I would not push him over. If he wanted to jump I would not stop him. Complete indiference with regard to what happens to him.

Thanks Groovy...

Wife had said that she was worried that I was going to hurt her or OM because of the look in my eyes. And I was like, "What?!? Have I ever laid a hand on you or anyone? (no!) and I'll swear an oath that I will never physically harm either of you".

Give me a break. Sure I wouldn't shed a tear if he was dead, but I'm not insane... The truth is enough here. I don't need any more than that.

Gramn,

Your attorney will most likely tell you (because this is what I would tell a client and I am licensed in Ohio) that sending this letter may result in your being sued for defamation, etc.; however, truth is a defense. That being said, if he does sue you, you will end up paying out a lot of money to defend that suit even though you may very well win.

Regards,

BB

Wife saw our councillor today. I will see him on Wednesday. I think that is good.

Remember she will lie to the therapist while in the fog!

[b]My wife lied like a rug when she met our MC.

I was wondering who the hell she was talking about.

She rewrote our whole friggin history.

I looked over at my wife and the MC and said "I have no idea who the hell she is talking about."

The Loser MC said "that is the way your wife perceives it so in her eyes it's TRUE."

I said "she's in the FOG you friggin MORON. You claimed to have read Dr Harleys books and you don't know about FOG. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

[b]Don't assume anything.

After my wife saw our counselor for the first time my wife said "I am now positive I am doing the right thing by getting a Divorce. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

You have NO friggin clue how bad these counselors can be.

I can honestly say that I can give superior marriage advice than 90% of the Highly Priced MORONS.

You've got a point there. I'll have to be extra careful when I see this guy. I'll also have to carefully analyse him to see if he's worth anything.

[b]Who gives a damn if your sued?

Some of your post make no sense at all and you act whimpy.

Are you trying to save your wife, your family, and your marriage.

Screw ALL lawyers, they all suck.

Lawyers are Trained to point out RISK. A lawyer will NEVER tell you any good points on anything.


Ask a lawyer about an Investment and give him a Financial Prospectus. They will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER point out the good points of an Investment, NEVER.


Lawyers can also get sued, that's why they are all forming LLC's.

All Lawyers suuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I've dealt with more lawyers than probably anyone here, at least 500 or more thru my business.

You said you are broke and have no $$$ so who the hell really cares.

Lawsuits only go to trial less than 10% of the time.

First, the OM would have to spend a small fortune to sue you. Ain't gonna do it. It takes years to sue anyone, don't believe those Judge Judy cases that go to trial in one week, friggin joke. I'm involved in a lawsuit where I am the Plantiff and we are into our 6th year and over $100,000 has been spent.

If you want legal advice, ask me. I think you said most of your money is in a 401(k) anyways.

401(k) are not subject to judgements. The IRS is the only one you have to worry about. They can take your first born if they want. They are also the biggest Mafia in the world.

Gramn

My WW and I began MC right after DDay. We went weekly for about 4 months. Like TA, I just wondered who that woman was that was attending the sessions with me. She was totally fogged out, and NOTHING the MC said to her registered, even through continued IC for WW for another 2-3 months. It was not until my FWW found out her soulmate had a NEW girlfriend, that she began to de-fog, and things that the MC was saying began to soak in. We WASTED $$$$ on the counseling all the while she was still in any contact with the OM, AND until she was mostly through withdrawal. Just my take on the Foggy WS receiving counseling, especially if the MC is not Steve Harley or his comparable....

SD

TA is dead on with Lawyers. It is ALL about RISK. They wont tell you what to do they will give you the worst case. Same as a DR.

Like TA, my father deals with lawyers all the time so he helped me realize that lawyers dont want to play hardball. You have to press issues with them and tell them what to do. They dont want to waste time on a trial but they work for YOU! You have to make them work. Kind of funny since they are so damn expensive.

Agree with So WHAT if he sues you. What do you really have anyway. Not that you are in anyway shape or form comparable but has OJ paid one cent. No. A judgement against you does not mean squat. Bankruptcy offers you protection. Certain classes of assets cannot be touched.

You should stand tall and fight this and dont be afraid of what they OM and WW are going to do. screw them. You are only trying to do what is right.

His first reaction may be to come after you but his lawyer will advise him to do nothing since it will just waste everyones time. They will put on a big show to scare you but back down when it comes time. It is scary as hell but it is a bluff.

[b]Ditto

OM will be lots more worried about the alimony and child support he definitely will have to pay.

I guess he's already worried about that. They told his kids about the affair this weekend. WW was pretty upset taht they told his 9 yr old about her. I don't know what to say to that that isn't judgmental. There is no way around the ugly truth...

--------------
Tonoght after work, Wife, OM and other Y people plan to go out. I am nausiated and angered at the thought of this... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Did you talk to the OMW to find out what is going on there? I take it your W is openly carrying on the affair now right under your nose?

Right on both counts. She and OM claim to be "in love". He is moving out on his wife and boys. My wife wants to move out, but can't yet.

Well, this is going to have to be stopped. She can't carry on her affair from the comforts of your home, Gramn. I would tell her that it is inappropriate and very hurtful for her to carry on an adulterous affair from your home. Tell her it is very disrespectful to you and your daughter and ask her to pleasse stop. She needs to put her affair on hold until she is gone.

You really really need to get that letter to the Y and blow this guys cover. What does the OMW say about all this? Is she not willing to try and save her marriage? Can she come here to us?

I gave her the URL to find this board and this thread. I don't know if she tried it or not. She seems very disinterested in saving her marriage though.

I'll get those letters out tomorrow....

Well, this morning Wife brought up the "you should move out" again. She basically wants me to go, or she threatens to take our daughter and find somewhere to go.

I don't agree, but I DO agree that I can't go on like this. i was going crazy last night while she was out.