I, personally, would not spend the night outside the home. Don't know how long of a drive it is, but if you wish to visit your parents, do so and come home. You've pretty much told her that she has tonight to do whatever she wants in the house.

As a matter of opinion, I'd probably invite friends or family over to spend some time with you this weekend. And YES, enjoy your daughter, what a wonderful age.....

Oh Bill, I love that! Yes, Gramn invite friends over! I agree with Bill don't be gone all night or your bed may become contaminated...ewwww...

Reasons I will be gone tonight:

a) I know that she does have ACTUAL plans with a girlfriend that lives pretty far from here tonight. If she were to meet OM tonight, it would not be around here. Maybe I can set some microphones or traps to catch her if she does come back to our place tonight.

b) She is always rubbing in my face "I have never spent a night away from our little girl". I don't want her to be able to use that excuse any more.

c) She seemed concerned that we would be around later in the weekend. that is when we'll be around.

d) I may come back at some unexpected time, just to see what happens..

Good Idea, I'd come home unexpectidely at 10pm tonight.

If this "friend" lives so far away, is she going to be staying out all night? If so, then she won't be able to rub it in your face anymore and it will be because she chose to stay away from the house and not because you took the baby somewhere else.

And I really don't care how much you think you know her plans, people lie and plans change. My X was going grocery shopping with a new mother who couldn't afford diapers....Yeah Right..... Her and another friend were pitching in to buy her groceries. I confirmed the story with both other ladies before she left. She got back home at 2:00am, drunk........ Now that's a grocery store....

Is she planning to move out while you are gone? Just a thought.....

I had already thought of that. That was my original theory, which I have mostly disguarded. But, even if she was why would she care that I was gone all weekend? Also, she seems to have no where to go, so far.

Also, she says that she will be spending the night over at the friends house that is out of town tonight. (Yeah right)
(This friend's party is to celebrate that this her husband is gone <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> She is having relationship problems too.) Unfortunately, this friend is an employee of YGuy, so she is involved in all this. So I don't trust her at all. I couldn't, for instance, call her house to see what is happening...

Gramm, you don't have a single valid reason to leave your home for 2 seconds this weekend. You and your D should not be uprooted from your home for 2 seconds to accommodate her sleazy affair. Quit making things easy for her.

The only possible reason I can think of is to appease your W, who simply wants to carry on with the OM without your annoying presence. DON'T ACCOMODATE HER.

Who cares if she says "I have never spent a night away from our little girl". SO WHAT?

P.S. I think she is flagrantly trying to manipulate you into leaving so she can bring the OM over. She has no valid reason whatsoever for you to leave and is making up excuses as she goes along. Don't let her manipulate you, Gramm, unless you want that sleazebag sleeping in YOUR BED.

I'm coming up with a plan... Hmm...

I'd burrow myself in at home if I were you OR make random checks at the very least. Too bad you can't tail her if she does go to her (gag) friends house to witness what is going on.

What do your in-laws think of their daughters' activities? I ask cuz I'm a mom of a former WS and I'd be all over my adult child like stink on sh*t! Maybe that is why we have a recovery going on in our family! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Can't believe all the freedom the Y-guy must have either!

Hmmmm....how about having someone babysit your daughter, drop your car off at a friend's house, and have them give you a ride back to the house. Spend the evening hidden in the house and see what comes up?

Or, if you're sure she's going to be at this other person's house...why not show up unexpectedly there to see if Y guy is there?

I don't know Y-Guy's situation, but he can't be much of a dad if he's hanging out with my wife and her friends every night.

My parents are very dissapointed and upset. They have been sympathetic. Neither of us are from families with divorced parents, so this is a shock.

Her family lives in another country. Her parents were very upset and she said that her dad was physically sick. But they supposedly support her,.. but her mom cancelled her 50th Birthday party and other stuff has happened. I told her dad that Wife's aunt knew what was going on. I hear that caused some tension.

I wonder if I could make my home computer's webcam do something? That would kick [censored]... (but probably wouldn't work once the computer was turned off.)

Owl,

In Gramm's case he knows she's having an affair, so catching them together doesn't really provide value at this point.

I'd simply leave my car parked in the driveway, rent some movies, ask the parents over on Saturday....And enjoy life with the baby.......

I disagree. To document that she wants Gramn to spen time with the girl and to get out of the house so she can visit friends...well, that may sound reasonable to a judge. That Gramn can prove she lied, and she wanted her daughter and husband out of the house so she could carry on the "eeewwww" as someone said above...well, that is a HUGE negative. I think you NEVER have enough intel, especially if you are male and trying to get custody.

I agree.

In His arms.

Hi Gramn,

Just wanted to make sure you caught this thread.

Necessity of Exposure in Plan A

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you, and support you no matter what you decide to do.

I understand *exactly* what you are feeling, and why you hesitate to expose Y guy at work. In my case, I did not. The OM got fired a few months later anyway, but the damage done to our marriage by the continued affair during those few months was extensive.

Think about it... If he is dealing with fallout, facing possible termination, he will not be fun for anyone, including your WW, to be with.

Anyway, do exactly what MM says to do. Just do it!!!

I'll read that thread now, WST.
-------------------
OK, I just discovered some MORE disturbing news...
While wife is out tonight, I checked through some records. I found a medical form. She went to her Doctor on tuesday and got another pregnancy test. She has not had a period in a while and is obviously still worried. (It may just be from stress and lack of eating) I don't know what the results of the test are. But I'll find her a way to ask her about it soon.
As if I don't have enough crap to deal with, I don't want her getting pregnant now.

Lets say there is a small % chance this hypothetical baby is mine. She currently would not want to raise it with me.

There is probably a big % chance that this hypothetical baby would NOT be mine. Even if we reconciled, I don't want to raise some other dude's spawn. And I sure don't want to get stuck paying child support for one either.

I don't support abortion. I think my wife might resort to it in a wierd situation like this though.

---------------------------------------------
Here is my "regular report"
Well, wife stayed out all last ngiht and is out again tonight. She is rationalizing this by saying that "next weekend is her weekend to spend with the baby". My reaction... "Says who? We never agreed to anything like that!"

She may or may not spend tomorrow with our daughter, depending on what her friends want to do. She plans to make breakfast for these people at one of the friend's houses or something. Whatever the hell is really going on, I'll just stick by my daughter and document it all.

Today while I was at my parents house, she called at least 3-4 times to check on us. Very annoying. She was saying that I am a selfish parent for giving my daughter a nap too late in the afternoon, and then wanting to drive her home.
PLEASE!

Gosh Gramn -

I hope she is not pregnant. She thought she was once before, so apparently they are not using protection.

I don't believe in abortion, no matter the circumstances. So I can't advise you there.

Let's pray that she isn't.

Gramn,

Just roll your eyes on the being a bad parent for letting your daughter take a nap so late in the day thing....in the throes of my XH's A, he repeatedly told - no screamed- me I was a bad Mother because I rocked our 8 month old son to sleep by singing to him. Now, 3 years later, he will tell you I am an excellent Mother and even bought me a Mother's Day card (from him - not DS) saying as much. Plain and simple, its the fog....

Regards,

BB

OK, well she finally saw our daughter today and just took her to a park.

-She is not pregnant, WHEW!

-I'm not worried about the nap thing either. It's just an example of lame stuff to get mad at.

-She is REALLY upset that I have not helped her along with this divorce. She things I'm punishing her... She wants me to agree to sell the house now.... (Yeah, right)

Gramn -

Well, that is a huge relief. At least you don't have to deal with that problem.

You can see that she is acting like the typical addict. I would just continue being pleasant to her. She will not react right now, but is probably noticing.