Exactly! See a lawyer tomorrow and have him start on a temporary custody order to ensure that your crazy wife does not take that child from her own home or drag her into the affair. You are the only sane adult left in her life right now, Gramm, and as her dad, it is up to you to protect her and keep her in her home. Take action NOW on this.

I would also secure your money and make sure she can't drain your accounts for her little love nest. You don't want to find yourself funding her affair.

GREAT JOB ON SENDING THE LETTERS TO THE BOARD!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

It's called "trying to bait you into a fight!" It is a classic game played by foggy WS's in order to get you into a fight with them. See, she desperately needs to demonize you so she can rationalize her affair. So, if you fight back, then YOU are the bad guy instead of her! When you fight with her you hand her a weapon to use against you. See what I mean?

So, don't let her bait you into a fight. Don't give her the ammo to demonize you.

Once she catches on that you aren't playing, she will quit playing that game. Just smile, be pleasant and most of all, be FIRM and hold your ground. Dont' let her huffing and puffing scare you off, Gramm! !

I am concerned that your wife is tearing off all p.o.ed and taking the baby with her. She should not be having that baby in the car while she's that upset. Can you firmly tell her that she is free to leave but that she will NOT be taking the baby with her while she's so upset?

So what's going on about the house she wants to rent....she's a SAHM right? How on earth can she finance that? Is she planning on moving in with OM???

As far as securing your finances....do you have a joint account??? If so, draw the money out of that sucker and put it in an account in your name only, you don't want to be paying for her little love nest.

Again kudos on the way you're handling yourself.....for being calm, cool, Gramn.

-Caren

Can I ask a stupid question? Why do we keep calling a 2 yr old a "baby?" That ain't a baby, y'all! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Gramn -

Don't get stressed out anymore. When she gets wind of the letter, she will really be angry. I would even be careful about eating any food she brings you.

But as soon as OM realizes that his job may be threatened, he is likely to dump your wife.

Mel ... I call a certain 55 year old man "baby" ....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Pep

P.S. she is supposed to PISSED when you interfere with her affair. She would only be happy if you moved out, paid all the bills and let OSB [othersleazebag] move into your bed and play daddy to your little girl!

So, please quit worrying about her being upset. She is angry for all the RIGHT REASONS, because you are trying to prevent her from destroying your family and your marriage.

you are sooo naughty! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

OK, I guess I could call our daughter our "Toddler" but baby is just easier to write. You know what I'm talking about, right? I'm sure that I've misspelled plenty of words too, but that is not my focus here...

--------------------------
Wife seems to think that I will be obligated to help pay for her apartment. I said that I will buy the baby whatever she needs, but wife is determined to start on "pre-alimony" right away.

how cute. Tell her you will pass. If she wants to have an affair, she needs to fund it on her own. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Protect your money, Gramm! Get it secured so she can't clean you out.

Well ... she has another 'think' coming.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />


And that is 100% correct. But the baby does NOT need an apartment ... she already has a home !


Well ... she's dreamin'.

You are doing GREAT>

Hang in there.

I know you are scared ... but you are doing GREAT!

Pep

Now take this to its logical conclusion Gramn. She is getting increasingly mad and hreatening. Why? Because you wont give her what she wants. What does she want? You to let her go, with your daughter...to help her. Why? Because she cant do it on her own!! Financially, legally, morally...she knows she is in a bad situation. If she could do it without your help, she wouldnt threaten. Remember that. Also, think of this...she threatens to take everything if you dont acquiesce. Now, what does she want you to help her do? She wants you to help her take everything!! So, what's the difference? She wants to take your daughter. If you dont help her, she threatens to take your daughter. Huh!?! Do you see?

Wow. Alot there. First...this is why you must do everything you have to help your position in getting your daughter. Your word is not going to be good enough. it is why you document everything she says and does. it is why you tape conversations and time with her. So the judge can see how "nuts" she is.

On her getting you Taco Bell...could be one of two things. Could be her still trying to butter you up. Or could be that real wife up under the WW. But dont take too much out of it.

Things are going as planned. Work your butt off on Plan A and on getting your position better for custody.

In His arms.

Gramn, dont say you will buy your girl anything. By saying that, you have agreed to at least fund a part of her move...the part with your daughter there. Better plan...she pays for daughter to stay with you!! That's what happened to my wife ($1100 a month child support to me!!).

Stop making any reference to divorce or helping her...or what you will do if she does that. Stay on message!!

In His arms.

How'd it go last night, Gramn?

Well, we put our daughter to bed and then Wife went over to the neighbor's house and drank wine and beer w her. At one point she came over, gave me a beer and said that 1/2 custody would be OK, because that is what the neighbor had done with her x husband. At 11:30 she came home and went to bed.

I'm pretty freaked waiting for her to find out about the letters. It might be today if the local mail and gossip travel fast.

Thank you SO much! My DS is almost 4 and my friends and family still ask, "How's the baby!"

BB

PS- is it hot enough for ya'? The Ozone Level and lack of rain are what's killing us down in the Big H.

How gracious of her. 1/2 custody?? Whatever. Gramn...why would she agree to 1/2 custody if she knew she could get full custody? I have my own theory...but would love to see if you can see what she is up to. Hint: the fog is heavy here!

Natural reaction. Just relax. Exposure is over now. She'll be pissed off. Shoot, over the next little while...she is gonna continue to be pissed off.

My wife would talk to family and friends and say things that made them believe that both of us were agreeing to divorce and 1/2 custody and stuff like that. When those friends came to me, they were shocked that I had nto agreed to any of that and was fighting for my marriage.

So, 98% of everything she says Gramn...you can ignore.

In His arms.

OT - Brat, I am in DFW and I know what you speak of. No rain in like forever, and friggin hot. Texas hot. Take care.

Gramn - sooooo glad you sent those letters !!! I guess you really didn't have much choice with everyone here yelling -- send the letters !! I keep you in my prayers everyday. You are doing great.

Carnation

It took me a while to decide on that move, but it was not just people here that made me do it. I guess the 2 main factors:
-I want to be able to say that I "Tried my hardest" to fix my marriage.
-I DO NOT want YGuy to play any part in my Daughters life. I was sickened when Wife said that our daughter had been acting strangely around him. "Why is she around him at all!?!?"

Keep looking your daughter in the eye and remember that, okay? She is defenseless...and has NO ONE in her corner except YOU!! You cannot give in, you cannot give up. Too much is at stake! You now are entirely responsible for where this family goes. Sure, your wife can make her own choices. And she is doing so only for herself! You must continue to make the right choices for everyone involved, including your WW. I know, that sucks. But...you are the man and God made you the head of your family. And with the position comes the responsibility.

In His arms.