LOL

Yeah, I messed up that one...
I'm now imagining leaving DD at the apartment while WW and I spend the night together...
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DD was sick today. WW and I had to juggle our schedules to get her taken care of. It was tough to avoid contact when dealing with the doctor stuff. I did OK, but I wish I did better.

Gramn - You are doing fine. You are allowed to discuss child-related stuff in Plan B. It is just very, very easy to have it escalate to relationship-related stuff.

Are you getting out and doing anything?

I've been getting exercise on nights that I'm not w DD, and doing fun stuff when I can, but I'm perpetually broke so can't afford much of anything. THat is very frustrating. I make a decent salary and have been bringing in more money on the side, but it all goes toward expenses.

Gramm, did the OMW ever call you back? What is going on with them? Are they seperated? Do you know?

I called & emailed her, but she never responded. From what I can gather, OM left her again.

Try biking. Costs zero, great exercise, great way to work off frustrations. An hour will get you 10+ miles; when I'm frustrated I do more. 25 miles yday (so you know what kind of day it was!) Good luck Gramn.

Actually, I DO bike a lot. We have a great trail near our house.

OF course, with winter approaching I don't know how much longer I'll be able to bike, but I'll think of something.

Minor OT:

As one who has ridden in 30 degree weather, an old Norwegian saying says it all:



<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Same problem here. I'm thinking maybe off-road. Slow enough and strenuous enough the cold wind shouldn't bother. Side benefit; bikers are a good crowd; good way to meet nice people.

Today WW finally has to go to traffic court for her many speeding tickets.
It will be interesting to see what happens...

Her court thing wasn't a big deal apparently. SHe just got fined.

I'm still trying (and still struggling) with the no contact.
Today i dropped DD off at daycare and WW left me a message saying that she wanted to say "good morning" to DD on my phone. Well, she called too late. Too bad...

Now, of the divorce stuff, I'm supposed to make an inventory of all of our assets. I'm not sure how to do this...
WW wants me to work with her to figure out how we'll divide up our stuff. I refuse to talk to her aobut this, of course.

BUT, how am I supposed to handle this? Should I email her the list I'm working on, or just let her make her own list or what?
Whatever happens, it sucks...

If you do make a list it should be sent to your attorney and have him forward it to her attorney. It should be short and succinct. He should not charge you more than 15 minutes to just forward the email or have his secretary print it and mail it.

Or...just wait it out. Do not respond to her lists/demands when she emails them to you. Use her list she eventually gives you...modify it...send it to your attorney. Make her do the work first and see what her demands are.

Mr. Wondering

I get what you are saying, but I think there will be a bunch of things that we already agree on.Although I don't want to get into a discussion about this with her, I also don't want to waste my lawyer's time on a bunch of stuff that we could agree to without him.

Not sure this is the right advice, but since you are in Plan B shouldn't you stick to using your lawyer? Otherwise you are breaking the no contract. Just an observation

NZ Girl is right.

Consider the lawyer's fee for the time dealing with this list an investment in saving your marriage. It's only money. She sholdn't get her "fix" of any interaction with you.

I think you're doing really well, Gramn.

Hi Gramn

How are things? It has been quiet lately for you, that I guess is the beauty of Plan B, all the drama slowly melts away.

Let us know how you going.

Gramn...You do not need to do anything...when my XW filed for divorce I COULD NOT TALK TO HER..she had an order of protection forbiding contact...she would not deal with me...have W make her list...you make yours and not share. Division is something that takes place as part of divorce, either settled (agreed) or through judgement of Divorce...(judge orders it)...judges prefer settlements....either way your lawyer will have to look at everything.....don't do her dirty work for her..

I"m OK. Still really depressed, bitter and stressed out.

I'm practicaly looking forward to the divorce, at least from a financial standpoint. I'm sick of making good money and having no money to spend!

I'm still struggling with the Plan B. I'm doing OK, but every day there are these situations taht tempt me with contact. Ive screwed it up far too many times. But, i'm trying my best.

I've been thinking over my marriage, of course, and don't really see many things that I could have done better. I see LOTS of flaws in her that I used to put up with, but now I sometimes question WHY I did. She treated me terribly!, even before this affair. Recently one of my friends told me that he overheard some derogatatory comment that she made about me over a YEAR ago! The affair is really bad and painfly, but it is not the only thing here. I tried my hardest to be a good husband, and it wasn't enough for her. Even if we were to hypothetically get back together, I'm not sure what else I could do to make it better...

Your latest post is all a part of Plan B. What you wrote means you are slowly detaching from your wife. This is good. It is good to get you off the rollercoaster. It is good to have introspection.

What your body is doing is taking these things and allowing you to put away your love in sort of a box. To lock it up. You do that with statements like you made above. You do that through letting go. You save your love for her by having it hidden away.

So, dont fret this. It is all a part of the plan.

In His arms.

Hi Gramn

Just checking to see how things are with you.

Let us know how you are going.