I took a little time from posting, I had a meeting with the MC and wife on Monday and spoke with Jennifer C last night. The MC brought up some valid points about my behavior. I've been judgemental and negative. It did make me take a step back and realize that some of the problems since D-Day have been of my making.

Full disclosure probably didn't happen due to how I did handle what I found out on my own and when she did tell me something I usually used it against her at a later time. By the time I was rational, my wife had shut down and decided to maintain her secrets. Honestly, some of my behavior came from frustration from her always saying "I don't know or I can't remember" or "I don't care if people saw his car at our house, he was never there".

So, where am I at:
1. No full disclosure
2. Still working with OM
3. Doesn't look likely she will find another job
4. We're getting along better as long as I don't bring up anything to do with the affair.
5. She now denies it was an affair, it was just phone calls
6. She met him at least 3 times that I know of, so not just phone calls
7. She was diagnosed with an STD during the affair (blames me).
8. TOTALLY LOST as to my next step.

Jennifer didn't recommend Plan B yet, since my wife is making some effort at NC at work and letting me know when she sees him. Also, since it's the end of the school year, we have 3 months to work on our relationship without OM having contact.

Are you actively working on Plan A?

I believe so, Jennifer seemed to feel that I was now handling things appropriately, but you could use some more help in implementing Plan A.

Do you know what your W's needs are? Have you done the EN questionaire together?

Is your W open to discussion? Could you print out the information on EA's and Radical Honesty? Would she read it?

Have you picked up a copy of HN/HN and SAA?

We're reading HN/HN right now and we did the EN questionaire. It was enlightening to say the least. I guess I don't meet any of her needs. WOW, 22 years and I didn't meet one need!! Obviously my wife is in a negative place right now. She has since said that maybe she was a little harsh.

I read SAA, my wife wouldn't have anything to do with it, nor would she take part in the conversation I had with Jennifer C last night.

I'm hoping to get to that section of the book soon, but my wife is not real good about implementing things she reads or hears in MC. She's stubborn and doesn't want to change.

To be honest, I think I am starting to "fall out of love" with my wife. Don't get me wrong, I do love her, but whatever connection we had has been greatly damaged or severed. I can't deny that my head is telling me I should get out of this marriage. Anyone that would get an STD and blame their spouse has some major character issues. The thing is, my heart is still telling me to stay, that this is going to get better and there's a real chance at a better life than you had before.